The Dreadlocked Barber

THE DREADLOCKED BARBER By Harry Elvis Mushonga CHAPTER 1 The clock had struck half-past eight in the evening, like on a daily basis, Thompson had to close his barbershop and make for his home which was situated 5km from his business point. He took into his Toyota Cressida and left Greenstone shopping mall in haste as his vintage, but well-oiled machine screamed off into invisibility with a speed that left all onlookers wondering whether there was really any need to fly to a destination that was just about 3 miles away. Thompson never believed in hanging around friends, he felt that it was merely a wastage of time to socialize for the sake of time passing, the only person whom he would give a fraction of his stingy time to was Gregory, a fellow dreadlocked gentleman who was working as a bank teller just a couple of yards from Jody’s Complex where his action-packed saloon was housed. On that day, he had taken off with him since they resided in the same neighbourhood of Slaughterville. On countless occasions, Jody would depart Greenstone shopping mall late. He loved his cold ones so much that it would be bizarre for him to leave for his home at 4 pm upon knocking off at Farmers Bank where he was respected for not only his envious diligence and punctuality but also his honesty and outstanding public relations. It is the latter trait that made him friends with the not-so-friendly Thompson. He was a perfect example of an allegiant professional. On that day like any other, he had checked into the Centre Bar to have one or two glasses of his favourite scotch whisky and was to be interrupted from his heartily after-work habit by Thompson who would hurry to fulfill one of his well-concealed escapades. He dashed into the Centre bar, gave Gregory a tap on the back before hauling, “let’s vacate man.” He threw some Rands onto the counter and requested a bottle of his favourite wine while insisting on timeous service from the sexy and rowdy bartender called Anisha. “Time is money Anisha, I’m in a hurry baby girl.” Anisha had to render him quick service on the pretext of knowing that he was devoid of patience whenever he enters the bar either during times like these or during his business hours when he bumps in to get a drink or some cash change for his saloon clients. After receiving his merchandise he never wasted any more time on Gregory who had to gulp his half glass of Scotch whisky and follow his rushing friend to the Cressida. A few seconds later what could be heard was the frivolous raving of the vehicle veering off the shopping mall, a phenomenon not strange at all to all those who knew of Thompson’s steering shenanigans. The car suddenly vanished from sight and all that could be heard was its fading groaning sound as it drifted further. On the slaughter menu, that very day was a very beautiful stout, light-complexioned lady of average height who had checked into the saloon for the very first time to plant artificial dreadlocks. Thompson had to do it himself since he was teaming up with Lisa to braid the vocal Miss Rue, a regular customer of theirs who had insisted on urgent service since she wanted to catch a flight to Dubai where her daughter was working and residing later during the day. Upon seeing the juicy and sexy Lydia stepping in, like always, Thompson did not take time to exhibit his instinctive courtesy by warmly welcoming her and ushering her in the direction of the style pin-ups that illuminated the scintillating walls of the saloon. The price list of the various hairstyles and other services that Thompson Health & Beauty was doing was attached adjacent to the counter so that it could be vividly visible to anyone who walks in to inquire. He had to urgently attend to his new customer brushing aside the outspoken Miss Rue who was beginning to register her impatience owing to a tight schedule. “You are left with just a small part Miss Rue, Lisa will finish you off now.” He was very good at convincing his clients to calm down whenever such contentious circumstances crop up, and Miss Rue being used to such developments could not take her complaint further. Apart from being given to clandestine operations, immoral contrabands, and indulgent innuendos, Thompson was a master of his trade. He would complete a full head in no time, be it plaiting, dreadlocks planting, or crocheting with keen passion. He was very good at public relations, but he never developed most of the acquaintances he made with male clients into friendship. Everything was strictly confined to business as long as it was in connection with males. Ironically, Thompson never got off the tails of ladies of his intimate taste. He would strike with the speed of lightning. His uncle Davies whom he resided with always wondered whether Thompson was possessed with a spirit of womanizing, or used magical charms to lure his serial s*x targets to bed. Thompson was a s*x predator, not so many women would resist his lustful flirtations, and the saloon became a very lucrative space for facilitating such filthy and unrelenting acts. Upon dropping Gregory by the gate of his homestead, Thompson veered his Cressida impatiently to rendezvous with his new prey Lydia at a private location. During the dreadlocks planting session, the two had engaged in cosy chatting that subsequently arrived at the setting up of an appointment. Lisa and the other girls never poked into Thompson’s pedophile exploits which they had all fallen victim to, only to be released via his use and dump mannerism. The saloon ladies often teasingly referred to him as the ladies’ man, and he would tactically dodge the matter every time they got on his case by vacating the saloon, or by turning up the volume of the woofer if he happens to be busy with a client. CHAPTER 2 The Cressida was making for a destination that was 20km away, and the time was reading 20:45hrs when Thompson made a stunt U-turn by Gregory’s gate. Most people would take off the tarmac every time the Cressida cruises in and out of Haste Street for fear of their lives or any form of victimisation. As much as Thompson had never been involved in any road accident, he was a very unscrupulous driver. He at times would jump red robots, drive at highway speed where only yard speed is stipulated. His driving was a sensational exhibit of Dutch courage that most people attributed to his chain-smoking of m*******a. He would often take to the backyard toilet of the saloon to have a puff of his joint to satisfy his never quenchable smoke desire. On that very day, the raving was scarier than before, life being so precious to risk so cheaply, everyone who was roaming on Haste Street hurried to the far end of the road shoulder to make way for the beast, as the Cressida was affectionately nicknamed. Most oncoming traffic would pave the way to avoid prospects of an accident every time the beast flew past in the opposite direction. Lydia was waiting anxiously for his newly found one-night stander at Verandah Lodge. She was married to Joshua, a military Sergeant who had gone out of the country on a tour of duty. This left his high s*x drive-prone wife vulnerable to s*x mongers like Thomson without any inhabitations, like parenting, given that the two had struggled to make any baby together. Lydia was, therefore, free and available for social engagements like partying and outing regardless of the time of the day. She was also an ardent lover of ale, with Four Cousins being her favourite. Upon their one-minute courtship in the saloon, the two had exchanged personal information including that of classified confidence. Thompson was known for being very quick at his work, but on that day in question, he took forever to finish planting Lydia’s artificial dreadlocks, a task that is known to take less time than most of the saloon chores. One topic that had generated keen interest for both during their passionate dialogue was baby conceiving. Upon hearing that Lydia and Joshua had tried all the prescribed formulas from different sources, be it traditional healers, doctors, and prophets in South Africa, without any success for more than 10 years, Thompson was quick to blame it on the firing of blanks by the out of sight soldier man. He pledged to be the solution to this problem that had haunted Lydia for such a long period of time. Lydia also divulged that her equally frustrated husband had returned to Somalia a week ago upon completion of his Rest and Return time out. That being the case, the two agreed there was no time to waste at all, with Lydia assuring her partner that it would not be easy for Joshua to doubt the paternity of the child because he had come with baby-making charms given to him by a certain witchdoctor in Somalia that they had been using during s*x before he departed for duty. It had never occurred to Thompson that he pays baby-making attention to a lady. This was extraordinarily unprecedented but he still derived so much interest and passion as he always did with most of his s****l contrabands. He had always driven the beast at maximum speed and felt the gratification, but on that day in question maximum speed was not enough at all, he impatiently raved it time and again, jumping critical robots, thereby scaring other road users off the road. His state of rush and impatience was beyond any stretch of consciousness. That was insanity. He flew past a road-rooted cluster of people without any sense of inhibition triggering loud screams that got the attention of the patrolling police officers who were roaming by the roadside. Being vehicle-free, they could not do much to halt the flouting Cressida driver who continued to cruise fast and furiously, jumping another robot before astonishingly disappearing out of their poor sights. Such was Thompson’s surreal level of risky road conduct which tallied with his unchecked and overly wild appetite for women. The guards who were manning the boom gate at Verandah Lodge were astounded to witness a screaming vehicle pulling up in front of them. Aware of the security protocol, Thompson got out of the beast and inquired about the whereabouts of a certain stout lady who went by the name Lydia. The security personnel ushered him to where his prey of the moment was anxiously waiting. As was his norm, Thompson never wasted any time by the front office of any hotel, lodge, or guest house. He stepped in together with his one-minute lover and paid the booking room fee that he had to. In a state of immense pleasure, the two fondled each other as they walked into their booked facility without any measure of worry and inhibition. Being as overzealous as usual, Thompson enthusiastically wrestled her lover for the night onto the room couch. Out of mutuality, Lydia could not resist the exerted force but only danced to the pushy tune of his casual bedroom inmate. One thing that flabbergasted her was Thompson’s relentless romance which made it appear as if he was never going to let go of her till the cops came knocking. It got very hot on the couch as the romantic Thompson started touching all the sacred places on Lydia’s appetizing body. He passionately stripped her naked, threw her to the bed, jumped onto her with the staunch desire of a teenager making love for the very first time. The passive Lydia was rendered defenceless as the nostalgic Thompson started firing from all cylinders. Lydia unleashed a scream that sounded like a shriek. The scream was so vociferous that it may have reached all the corners of Verandah lodge. What remains a mystery is whether it was a result of pain or pleasure. It is a question of hope that the screams were also not barren but accompanied by the conception of the elusive baby that Lydia was desperate to have. This was to be proven with the passage of time, but what remained vividly clear is the establishment of an up-close and intimate relationship that had the propensity to transcend beyond the one-night stand status the two had mutually agreed on. CHAPTER 3 Early every morning before 8 bells, which was the time at which Thompson Health and Beauty centre officially opened its doors to the general public, Thompson would have long peached up unless hampered by serious distractions and impediments. On that day in question, the clock had struck the prescribed opening time without the sight of the man who had the keys to the saloon. Lisa and her colleagues arrived at their usual half-past seven to undertake their opening preliminaries which were synonymous with clean-ups, arrangement of furniture, and gadgets to ensure that everything is in good shape before clients walk in. The ladies always made sure that Thompson Health and Beauty Centre is spotlessly clean left, right, and everywhere before its doors were cast ajar. It was astounding for them to see their ever-punctual boss jetting in an hour after the usual starting time. Thompson’s arrival was never a secret as it was always signaled by the vociferous raving of the ever abused beast as he checked into the mall, which had become his arrival and departure password that had gone missing for the due period. Eventually, the beast had groaned and found itself by its usual parking space. “Morning everybody, sorry for the inconvenience caused, I had mechanical problems with my vehicle” he explained himself to the onlooking staff. “No problem Thom” responded Lisa who had a knack for speaking on behalf of the other girls at loose will. The girls rushed inside to make up for the lost time while Thom was busy convincing the three clients who had come for services to bear with them as they hurriedly put their ducks in a row. The preceding dramatic night had had a toll on Thom’s usual business code. He was known for his robust and well-polished business idiosyncrasy, only to be dented by his irrational greed for what God put in between women’s legs. Womanising was a breach that remained stuck on his otherwise clean cloth. Such gallivanting was the reason why the saloon was opening late on that day in question. He had spent countless nights out with so many one-night standers, but always managed to arrive on time at the saloon, but on that very day what transpired with lady Lydia was a determinant factor. Those volatile screams were the results of extraordinary physique and passion at work. Whether it was lust or love that took over at Verandah lodge, we will ascertain as we journey with their stormy intimate adventure. The mission of their intimacy had to be accomplished, or at least given the best shot which it vehemently got. Maybe with that groovy s****l encounter, the much-needed baby was now just a matter of time. Be that as it may, work had to be chief on the list of priorities since it provided that cash that powered these escapades. Anyway, all that was now water under the bridge, and it was now time to reconfigure the saloon settings and possibly have another one-night catch as had become his norm. In no time it was business as usual. What amazed Lisa and everyone else was his unusual posture on that very day. He was smiling to himself without engaging anybody that much. There was something weird about his mood on that very day that pointed to a world of uniqueness. In any case, plenty of people are given to mood swings, and he was not an angelic exception. On the other side, Lydia was still recovering from the erotic bashing she had to endure if at all that scream or shriek was anything to go by. The beautiful baby hunter was pondering and reflecting about the groovy and superfluous night that was. Never in her life had she confronted such a turbulent bedroom creepy crawler with such a nostalgic passion for intimacy. Yes! it had never occurred to her ever since she lost her virginity that a man slams it left, right, and centre all night long without a trace of relenting. Maybe this was the elusive solution to her long-standing need for a baby of her own. What boggled her mind was whether the baby-making charms her husband had sourced from Somalia had worked effectively in the course of her encounter with her absent husband a week prior to meeting the marauding dreadlocked predator. Besides that reflective moment of consciousness, what mattered was the probability of carrying a baby in her womb. Her marriage had suffered enough criticism from judgmental and stereotypical relatives, friends, and naysayers. She had long wished there could be a way out of this stigmatic shackle. By hook and crook, she had resolved to get a baby or die trying. Giving up was not on her list of reproductive vocabulary. Such is the traumatic experience of groaning all night in bed without attaining any of your endurance’s worth. In any case, fertility is not a stipulated individual right, but a blessing of providence divine, and destiny. Back at Thompson Health & Beauty centre, Lisa could not withstand seeing her boss acting peculiarly without the answers. It was not in her extrovert nature to keep anything that haunted her secretly to herself, let alone remain mum over issues that needed clarifications. She attempted to suppress that intuitive and inquisitive call to inquire about her boss’s eerie posture, but could not beat the feeling any longer. Thompson had unusually turned up for duty late and this made her rule out any mere coincidence of tranquility and impunctuality. What made it odder was the self-gratification that was written on their boss’s face. Thompson’s mood was not at all hollow but just solo. He was in a whimsical world of his own. There was obviously more to that, and she wanted to know. In her usual jovial mannerism, she took to her boss with a striking intention of the probe, and with a concerned voice she asked, “Is everything okay Thom?” “I’m all good, what’s the matter Lisa?” replied Thompson. “Oh guys, you must be starving now, let me grab you something from Mama’s kitchen” He uttered these ones as he dashed out, much to Lisa’s realisation that he was not ready to divulge about whatever was making him behave so strangely at loose will.