THE EMPATH

MISSED OPPORTUNITIES

"Honestly, I don't...I mean, I can't...It's just that I know I should be happy because he got what he deserves and all, yet I don't. He was bad, cruel, and evil but he still had no right to do what he did. Suicide, seriously? I feel like he got out too easy. I wanted more than anything to see him spend his life in a tiny cell. I wanted to watch him suffer, watch him grow old in a prison where no one liked nor respected him, but he had to take that away from me. He had to have the last word and he even had the guts to rub it all on my face by leaving me millions. What do I do with the wealth raised from killing people and ruining people's lives?" She was now visibly furious and I could feel that she was not at all happy with what had happened to her uncle. However, even though she had all those things that she had wanted, her pain was mostly healed except for the part where she understood that her sister wouldn't come back to life despite Albert's death. She knew what's dead stays dead and that had to hurt. "Look on the bright side for once Lily, he is dead and that means he will never hurt anyone ever again. Also, you get to decide what to do with his wealth which means you can donate it all to charity and let it help someone for a change," I said to her in an attempt to get her to cool off so that the angry vibe in the air would go away. "It's okay, I am sorry. Let's get this night started," she answered and sat beside me on the sofa.

I was still not sure that having her over at my place for a whole night was a good idea, however, I didn't want her to think that I was still a child so when she suggested it, I couldn't say no. It was on a Saturday evening and we both had no classes on Sunday so we planned to stay up all night watching movies and drinking. Something else I had only said yes to because I was trying to show her that I was an adult. I had a clue that I was going to regret everything the next day but I put on a brave face. That day after classes, we had gone straight to our favorite dinner in town and had lunch. We had then picked up a twelve-pack and headed home where she explained to me why she didn't want to go home. "You know what, my family expects me to sit through the memorial of the man who r***d and killed my sister and as if those weren't crimes enough, he explained in his suicide recording that he was directly responsible for the death of sixteen people and indirectly responsible for the deaths of seven others. He confessed that he was planning to kill me next and that he had already tried to send someone after me already, he also said that he was a d**g lord and he was using minors to transport and sell drugs. How can I even find the strength to sit there and pretend that I care for such a person, and, as if seating there pretending to be mourning a killer is not enough, my father and grandma also planned a dinner tonight in his honor. They will probably be crying and talking nice about the fool that destroyed our family legacy and I can't afford that luxury," she had said and I had told her I totally understood.

We went down to drink our first beer and that was when she broke off to talking endlessly about his uncle and all that crap and I had to sit there listening to her and pretending to care even though all I ever wanted was for her to shut up and just keep drinking. I am and I always have been an introvert. Making friends was impossible but once I had made one, it was always kind of hard to let them go. Come to think about it, I still hadn't gone over the fact that Anne was not in my life anymore. I still kind of expected her to call or text. Sometimes I even imagined that she would come looking for me. I had promised Lily that I was going to be her friend but I was beginning to think that I may have made that promise way too early in the relationship. I should have at least stayed with her a little bit more so that I would have known that she was my complete opposite. I promised myself that I was not going to make any more promises until I knew her well and that night was my opportunity to get to know her better. I was expecting her to talk about herself, the things she liked, and the things she hated, instead, she chose to talk about a dead guy that had nothing to do with me. Well, except for the part where I was the only one who knew that his death wasn't a suicide and the confession wasn't voluntary. I wished I could tell her because then maybe she would be satisfied to know that he didn't go out on his own terms but then there was always that promise I made to Robert.

I was finally at peace when she sat down and relaxed. Finally, we could talk and I would decide whether to keep her as a friend or not by the end of the night. "Hey, now that we are here, and we have the whole night to ourselves, why don't we get to know each other better," I said and pulled her close to me so that she was resting her head on my chest. "What do you have in mind?" she asked with a strange tone. "Well, maybe we could just begin by you telling me everything about yourself, then I will tell you everything about me," I answered. She pulled away and sat on the edge of my two-seater couch. She nodded her head in agreement but then asked me to go first. There was not much to tell about myself. My childhood was all about hopping from one hospital to the other and the most interesting part of my life had to be a secret that she was not ready to hear yet. In about thirty minutes, I had told her everything there was to know about my nineteen years of existence. It was then her turn to tell the story and I was more than ready to listen.

"Maybe you should get popcorn, I know I will be a while...," she started. I reached out for my second beer and the story started. Her childhood life was an adventure that could be written in kids' books and I could even see it in my head like a movie. It was nothing like mine as she grew up surrounded by siblings, and present parents and she never mentioned a trip to the hospital that was not a result of rough playing or playground accidents. She had all these fun memories of vacations and tours and her dad's cooking. I wished my childhood was even half what hers was. Then she got to her teenage years and that was fun for her but not so much for me. She talked about all the parties she went to, all the sneaking out of the house, and how she had her first kiss on the eighth street of Devin avenue. Her life had been all butterflies and unicorns until his uncle Albert started hanging out with the wrong crowds and killed her sister. The story took almost two hours and by then I had already gone through four beers. I had never gotten seriously drunk before and I, therefore, had no idea what to expect. The walls seemed to be moving and suddenly the soft reggae music playing on the radio was not loud enough for me. I had to up it a little.

I got up ready to do that but it felt like I had been pulled back to the sofa by some invisible force. Everything in my house was more beautiful than it used to be and as for Lily, she was yummy. "Okay, you are officially drunk dude, you need to just seat because of you start moving like that, you are going to break stuff," she said as I was trying to get up for a second time. Maybe it was the alcohol in my head, but she didn't seem to be drunk even after her sixth bottle and I just had to ask how she still managed to get my phone and order Pizza. Apparently, drinking was not new to her. She may have been a catholic and all, but she didn't skip on teenage fun. She told me that for her to get like completely drunk, she needed at least seven or eight beers and so I let her have my last two bottles. Soon, we were both drunk and she was a little bit noisier than usual. She suggested a game which we played for some time but then she got bored and we went on ahead to another, then another. At last, she grew tired of the games and she made me dance. I was completely sure then that she was an extrovert and that I would never live to keep up with her kind of lifestyle. Maybe she was never the friend kind anyway.

I could not tell how long the dancing ended as I kind of blacked out. I woke up hours later to a female singing voice and to my surprise, I was on the bed. At first, I thought it was one of those scenarios where you dream that you are awake just to wake up and find that it was a dream. I turned around and was about to keep on sleeping but I heard footsteps approaching so I had to turn back towards the door. "Hello handsome, I was starting to think that you will never wake up," It was Lily, and she had breakfast with her. As if that was not surprising enough, she was wearing one of my shirts and nothing else. That was the moment I looked under the blankets and realized I was totally n***d. I jolted into a seating position and looked at her in confusion. I had no idea how I ended up in bed or how I got n***d and I was hoping that she was in a position to tell. "How?... Why? ... what happened?" I asked amidst a lot of stammering. She gave me the tray and got into the bed. She was obviously too comfortable for someone who had only known me for a week and that scared the crap out of me. "Don't you worry Vicky, nothing happened. Do you think I could let you do it to me without protection at least? Also, you told me you were still a virgin and I figured you wouldn't want to lose that while drunk. But, you told me that if I ever, you know, felt like it, I should come to you," She said and for a moment I felt better to know that nothing happened.

Breakfast went by smoothly and we were planning to stay in for the day but she received a call from her lawyers, something to do with the fact that I had made his uncle proclaim that he was leaving all his earthly possessions with her before I pushed him into jumping out of the window. I felt like she deserved to be the one to decide what to do with the wealth as I knew her well enough to understand that she would never let all that money go into the detective business. She however had to sign legal documents so I had to let her go. I saw her off to the little red car and watched as she drove away before going back to the house. Finally, I was alone and it was time to reflect.

The reality that I had just spent the whole night with a n***d girl and did nothing had just hit me and then I was angry with myself. How could I be such an i***t? There was a possibility that a chance like that may never make its way into my life again and it was all my fault. I should have known what she meant by "Let's get this night started". I should have bought some condoms, but how could I have thought of that? I was still my mother's little boy who was not ready to grow up yet. For the rest of the day, I beat myself up over the missed opportunity. However, even after all that, I couldn't think to just call her and ask for a second chance. I chose to wait for her to come back all by herself even though I knew all too well there was a possibility of that never happening. The one thing I knew for sure though, was the fact that I was ready to keep her as a friend even though she was different.

After I was done punishing myself, I reached for the remote and turned on the TV. It was seven in the evening and that meant news. I had nothing better to do, otherwise, I was not a big fan of the damn news as all they were ever about were things that caused me pain and I was always trying to stay away from it. As usual, there was the introduction, the headlines, and then the news. Nothing seemed interesting as it was about a grabbed public land, lost and found kid, and some farmers were demonstrating over low bonuses. I wanted to turn the TV off but then the most interesting bit of news happened. A woman was crying for justice for what she termed as the cold-blood killing of her husband.

She explained that she knew the person who had killed her husband and that she and the villagers knew that her husband was not the killer's first victim. She had moved from one government office to the other seeking justice but so far she had gotten nowhere. She believed that the media would help which was the reason why she had gone to them but she feared that after talking to them the killer would come after her and to some extent, that may have just been the case. However, I had already planned to pay the so-called killer before he could get to her and make sure he never got that chance. I had missed a very sweet opportunity to have fun but I was not willing to sit around and lose another. At that moment, I made a plan to visit the village which was only a few miles from the city. I packed my bags and left as I only had a few hours to get there and be back before my classes in the morning.