The Monster Within Me

Chapter 12

Maya

As I walked back to the front of the cell, I was trying to maintain and keep control of my rising anxiety. Even with Kaia's strength I was nervous to face Angelo alone. When I was in front of the cell once more, Angelo lifted his head to look at me.

"Thank for dealing with your entourage princess, I feel as though I may now speak more freely with you." He said reclining and leaning on the wall as if he was on vacation and not being held in a prison full of silver.

I crossed my arms over my chest, "You said you had something you wanted to tell me. I'm here because I want to know what it is, not to make small-talk with you." I said firmly.

He held up his hands in mock surrender, "Of course, you're a busy lady. Let me get right to the point then," his demeanor changed to one more deathly serious, "When you go through The Changing it will be far more painful and difficult than your first shift as a werewolf. And you will crave blood darling, so be sure to have some of that close by or you'll murder the entire pack before you come to your senses enough to see what you've done."

I was frozen in place after hearing what he said. It hadn't even occurred to me that I might be putting the rest of the pack, the people who had become my friends, in danger.

"You might want to also refrain from going near your human family for a while as well. Human blood will call to you stronger than your werewolf friend's and you will have a harder time restraining yourself. Self-control is learned not inherited. Even being a hybrid won't help you with that." He said calmly.

"W-why are you helping me?" I asked quietly. Closing my eyes at the mental images I was getting.

"Going through The Changing is hard to watch for me even now with how old I am. I was there when the last hybrid defeated Vlad, and they killed hundreds of people before they even realized what had happened. It's the worst part of being a vampire, that first month. You're at your strongest and your bloodlust is nearly uncontrollable. You would do well to tell your friends to make sure you don't go for more than a few hours without for the first couple months. Seeing as you'll be stronger than the lot of us, it might last longer." He was looking at me know with almost a caring expression on his face.

"Why are you doing this? Why tell me all this?" I asked, the confusion written plainly on my face.

"I'm too weak with all this silver and malnourishment to which I've been subjected to be of any use to my side, and between the two of us, Vlad's always been a bit of an ass. I won't live to see it, but I do hope you kill the bastard." He said with humor lighting his eyes.

I didn't know what to say so I just looked at him in shock. Then the last bit of what he said finally clicked in my head, "What do you mean you won't be alive to see it?"

He shook while he stood, his clothes seemingly hanging onto him by sheer hope, "I already told you, I'm weak and useless from my imprisonment. Admittedly, I did think my long life would allow me to have a more worthy end, but I will die by my own hands before I let myself wither away at the hands of wolves. No offense of course." He said with small smile as he hobbled over to the small table in the opposite corner of the room.

"But I could talk them into feeding you more and letting you out if you promise to help me. You don't have to do anything rash." I said trying to get him to say he'd be willing to help me more. It would be helpful to have another vampire around.

"I would be a prisoner just the same. Do you think they would allow me help you peacefully? They'd probably wrap me up in silver chains before they let me walk freely." He said with obvious disgust and discomfort. He had made it to the table now and looking at it now I could see that it was covered in different pieces of silver. One looked like a silver chalice, another a silver rosary, and what he picked up was a long and sophisticated silver pen.

"I do hope you can forgive our first encounter, I was simply fulfilling my obligations to the king of my realm." He said raising the pen to his chest.

"Wait a minute Angelo, you don't have to do that, at least let me try to talk them into letting you out." I said panicking again as I pieced together what he was trying to do.

"They won't princess, and I think we both know that. If you meet my daughter Danica on your coming adventures please tell her that her papa loves her, and make up a far more interesting end for me. Tell her I was the hero she always thought me to be." He said as he steeled himself and then pushed the pen right through his heart.

"NO!" I screamed, grabbing onto the silver bars, but it was too late, Angelo was already slowly turning to dust in front of me with a smile on his face, his blood dripping from his mouth. In an instant, Quinn was by my side pulling me off the bars and away from the cell. I hadn't even realized I was crying until he wiped the tears that were falling on my cheeks. I sank to the ground, Quinn still wrapped around me as I sobbed into his chest.

I wasn't even sure why I was crying. Because he had actually been nice to me and given me advice that could save me and the lives of those I loved? Because somewhere out there a girl would be without her father? It felt like I had taken him from her and I knew that although I hadn't killed him, I would remember his death for the rest of my life.

Quinn was rocking me back and forth trying to calm my hysterics when Fen and Ylva came running back towards us.

"What happened?" Fen said, alert as ever.

"H-h-he k-k-killed h-himself. Right in f-front of m-me." I said barely getting my words out.

"Quinn, you can take her out of here and back to her to her room. We'll send someone with her lunch and dinner to her room later. Maya, we'll meet in my office tomorrow to go over whatever Angelo said to you, okay?" Fen asked, genuine concern etched onto his face.

Quinn and I both nodded and he helped me up and guided me back through the hall and out of the cabin. I was so lost in thought, replaying what Angelo had done in my mind that I hadn't realized we were back in my room until he sat me on the bed beside him. For a long time, he just sat there and held me. No words spoken, which I appreciated. I simply had nothing to say. After a while there was a knock on the door and Gracie, who I normally saw in the kitchens came in with two trays. She smiled kindly at me and placed them on the side table before quietly exiting.

After the door closed behind her, Quinn pulled away to look at me, "You should eat something Maya, you haven't had anything since breakfast." He said gently.

I was in the process of shaking my head when he opened the tray, chicken finger and fries with enough honey mustard to dip the fingers and the fries in. Instead of depriving myself of such a delicacy, I held my hand out for the plate. I didn't have my normal appetite, but I felt as though I could appease him if he at least saw me trying to eat. He opened his tray and we ate in a comfortable silence for a few minutes.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" He asked around his food.

"Which part? The part where I saw an immortal vampire older than anything I've ever seen commit suicide, or the part where he told me I could slaughter the entire pack once I go through The Changing?" I said in a bitter tone focusing on my fries. I didn't mean to take my frustrations out on him, but I didn't exactly have a lot of people around to complain to.

He froze when I said that, burger halfway to his mouth, "W-what?" He stuttered. I had never heard him stutter before so I stopped and looked at him.

I quickly decided that I didn't want to repeat this harrowing ordeal twice so I put my tray down and held my hand out to him, "Come on, I'd rather just say this once so let's go find Fen & Ylva and tell them before I lose my nerve." I said trying not to cry again as I thought about what I was going to have to tell them.

Quinn said nothing, just put his tray down and took my hand. He let me gently drag him to Fen's office. The door was slightly open and I could hear voices on the inside, so I knocked. The voices stopped immediately.

"Come in." I heard Fen say. So I pushed the door open, inside was Ylva, Franky and Fen all sitting and turned towards the door.

Once they saw that it was us coming in, their posture relaxed. Franky smiled at me and stood to give me his seat, "Hey kiddo, how're feeling?" he asked with a kind look in his eyes. He'd always been nice to me and I'd had dinner with him in the kitchens a couple times, I thought he was pretty funny.

"I've been better Franky." I said trying to return the smile but failing miserably as I sat down.

"Maya, what brings you here? You should be resting after your hectic morning." Ylva lightly scolded.

"I know, but I would rather just get this all over with now so that can actually sleep. What Angelo told me was scary for not just me, but the pack too." I said trying to keep my voice even with the weight of what I was about to tell them. Quinn took up a place behind my chair and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Alright then, take your time, there's no rush. Just start from where you picked up from when you went back to speak with him." Fen said patiently, leaning forward with his chin resting on his hands.

I reached up to take the hand on my shoulder and looked up at Quinn, he gave me an encouraging smile and so I told them. About The Changing and how it would affect me after. About the danger I posed to the pack. About what Angelo said about Vlad. About his message for his daughter and his suicide. When I finished all of them were lost in thought.

I sighed heavily, "Listen, Alpha Fen, I'm posing a risk to the safety of your pack members, and I could never forgive myself if something happened to them. I don't exactly have anywhere else to go, but I will understand if you don't want me around them when it happens. I just don't want to hurt anyone." I said tears welling up in my eyes as I realized that they might very well kick me out for their own safety.

"Maya, you haven't been here long, but you are pack. I can't just let you go," Fen said softly causing me to look at him. He was looking at me with a look I'd seen on Nelle's dad's face when he was reassuring her, "We're in this together until the very end. If what Angelo is saying is true, we have wolves who work with the blood bank and the hospital that can supply us with blood to help you through this. It's my responsibility to keep everyone safe, which includes you." He said, standing up to stand in front of his desk and leaning back against the front.

"We wouldn't let him get rid of you anyway dearie, we've all grown quite fond of you." Ylva said, reaching out to place her hand on mine and winking at me. Fresh tears sprung to my eyes, these were tears of relief.

"We'll figure out how to manage you and keep you from craving blood too much to do anything crazy. I'll go out and get another fridge to keep the blood and I'll Lionel and Jackie know that we'll need them to start bringing some in with them when they leave from work for the next few days until we can get this under control." Frankie said, already at the door with his phone in his hands.

"I should call Rhys and let him know what's happened today." Quinn said, stepping back and running his hands through his hair. He looked as stressed as I felt.

"Quinn, that's alright, don't worry about it, I'll call him and let him know. You look like you've been through hell yourself. Both of you can go relax for the rest of the day." Fen said walking up to me with his hand out to help me stand. I took and he placed it in Quinn's. Quinn nodded and started pulling me out of the room, Ylva and Fen both winked at me before I shut the doors behind me.

Quinn didn't say anything until we got back to my room, and then he didn't speak at all. Just shut the door behind him and pulled me close to him. I don't know how long we stood there like that, wrapped in each other's arms. When he finally pulled away and took my face in his hands, he eyes looked like they were glistening with unshed tears.

"I know Fen's a good man and an even better alpha, but I was scared that he was going to tell you to go." He said gazing into my eyes so deeply I felt like he could see through to my essence.

I gave him shaky smile, "Sorry, but you aren't getting rid of me so easily Quinn." I said, holding his hands against my face.

He laughed at that, "What makes you think I would ever want to be rid of you Maya?" He asked and before I could answer, he kissed me. This was the kiss I had missed in the clearing. It was full of so much emotion I felt like I was drowning in it, but that was okay with me because I gave as ood as I got.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled my closer to him and I wrapped my hands around his neck reaching into his hair and tugging it lightly. His hands slid lower and he cupped the back of my thighs and lifted me up, turning to put me against the wall. He pressed himself into me and I moaned at the friction and excitement I was feeling. He broke away from the kiss and moved his attention to my neck, kissing and biting as he made his way from my jaw to the spot on my neck that was the most sensitive.

Just as he began to move his hands to lift my shirt, there was a knock on the door.

"f**k man come on." Quinn said putting me down and stepping away from me.

I laughed a bit and went to open the door while he went to sit on the bed, "Hey Mel, what's up?"

"Hey Maya, I just came to check on you, I passed by Franky and he said that you were going through some stuff, I just wanted to see if you wanted to talk about it" she said stepping into the room and noticing Quinn, "Oh crap, am I interrupting something?" She asked looking between us.

"Quinn is just a little worked up with all that's been happening. I was just gonna grab a shower," I chuckled, flashing a look in Quinn's direction, "I can meet you down at the kitchen in half an hour if that works for you." I said with a smile. Quinn taking the hint grabbed some towels from the closet and moved towards the washroom.

"How about we have dinner together with Gabby too and you can tell what's been going on with you? That way she won't hound you down for the details a second time. We can go hang out afterward too." Mel said leaning against the door.

"That sounds perfect, I could really use a girls night." I said stepping forward to give her a hug.

"Awesome, I'll let Gabby know. See you later Maya!" She said hugging me back before leaving, closing the door behind her. I smiled as I went to the closet to take out an outfit for after my shower, happy that some part of my hectic week was starting to feel slightly normal.

I heard the shower turn on and figured that Quinn was headed to shower too and decided to join him. To conserve water, the planet didn't need any help in dying. In reality, I was hoping to pick up where we left off before Mel came. He hadn't shown me much interest or attention since that night in his hotel room and he had really shown up for me today. I laid the outfit I had chosen on the bed and made my way to the bathroom.

The door was cracked open and when I pushed inside, there was already steam starting to coat the mirror and other surfaces. The glass windows of the shower were frosted, but I could see Quinn's perfectly sculpted outline standing underneath the running water. He had his head down and one hand against the wall like he was lost in thought.

I had walked in here with a lot of false confidence, but it was running out. He obviously had somethings on his mind that he wanted to clear up, so I went to leave. I had thought I was being pretty stealthy about it, but just as I reached for the for handle, I heard the glass door slide away.

"Hey Maya, what're y-" He started to say. Before he could finish his sentence, I ran out of the washroom and shut the door. I was leaning on the other side of the door, my heart pounding in my chest and I heard him sigh. I wasn't really good at this, and although I loved it when Quinn showed me attention and affection, it scared the hell out of me.

I was afraid of liking him too much, more than he wound up liking me. I mean for now we were kind of stuck together because i was still pretty helpless, but what about later? Would he still feel the same when he was free to go his own way? Probably not. He had gone all this time without being attached to a woman, and I wasn't his mate. I couldn't allow myself to be distracted by my growing feeling for him. There was a war to fight and hopefully after everything, I would find my mate. I couldn't allow myself to be distracted by my growing feeling for him. There was a war to fight and hopefully after everything, I would find my mate. Becoming attached to Quinn would be a mistake.

I moved over to the recliner that sat in front of the small fireplace and tried to relax my mind. If I was to pursue anything with Quinn, I would have to let him know how I felt and try to separate my feelings from what I was doing. Just as I was getting comfortable the door opened and Quinn walked out dressed in the clothes he had brought in the bathroom.

I sat up when he came out, trying to think of how I would start this conversation.

"Hey, look, I'm sorry about before. I don't know what I wa-," I started.

"You don't have to apologize Maya. I wanted you earlier, which was obvious and I was hoping you joined me in there just now, but I can see that you and I don't feel the same about each other." He said walking over and sitting in the chair beside me, angling his body to face me.

"No Quinn, you don't understand. I went in there for that reason exactly, but I chickened out. I love being around you and how you make me feel when we're alone, but I don't want to become attached to you." I said fiddling with my hands in my lap.

"Look Maya, I know what I want, I thought I had been pretty clear about that. So, when you figure out what you want, you let me know. I'm going to go hang out with the Franky before dinner. I'll see you later." He said, grabbing his stuff and leaving.

I had no idea what to do, to go after him and explain myself better or to let it go and maybe all the heat that had been between us would die if I did. In the end I decided to let him go, I didn't want to make things between us anymore awkward right now. Instead, I took a shower and had a nap before my night out with the girls.