What About My Forever?

Chapter 1 The Workload

Through all else, love will always survive the years.

Prolouge:

War is arising all around the world, subjecting anyone and anything to its misery. The effects of its dark, glooming hand has reached even the smallest of towns, clutching them into its tight and suffocating grip. There is no escaping the large impact, no matter where you live, it will entrap you. It feels like a slap to the face, making the darkness and depression felt by absolutely everyone, strangling the life out of what they knew by killing what they need most. Which is incredibly traumatic for everyone involved.

When something as traumatic as war happens, all you can depend on is knowing that things will never be the same, but just because things are not going to be the same doesn't mean it's all bad, lots of great things have come out of change. No matter how much darkness consumes the world, whether it's just everyday life problems or something big making the world darker, there will always be the glimmering hope that things will and can get better. There has to be light in all of that darkness to keep everyone still going, right?

A sparkling glimmer of this said light can be found in anything that you want to see it in. From having a loved one coming home from the war, to having more time with your family, to getting a new job, making new friends, or even finding the one you are meant to be with. Positivity is work and hard to find in these kinds of dark times, but not impossible. Sometimes you just need a nudge in the right direction by someone special to get that positivity ball rolling. Embrace the unexpected happenings. They might be all that you need to be happy within your life and yourself. Spread the love and light.

Louise's POV:

War has been going on for much longer than it ever should have, sending many men out to fight, whether they wanted to do it or not. A select few women were allowed to help within certain areas of the war. Even though they were allowed, there were not many women who applied to join the cause to help. Or were even allowed the chance to participate if they wanted. You would think that our side would put anyone in their supply of bodies for this war, especially people who wanted to participate, but that, sadly, was not the case.

There were extensive rounds you have to be involved with before getting that special chance. I would know this from being one of the young women who wasn't allowed to participate and told to stay home. I felt deprived of what I could do to help my fellow people. It was made obvious to me that they don't and won't take my dedication and words seriously, no matter how many times I speak them. Sadly, I was ignored and left to go down with the declining town that I was born in.

I watched in agony, just aching to do something to help anyone. I was only laughed at when I asked to help, which made things even harder, when the horrible situation of our small town was practically a snowball rolling down a snowy hill at that rate. It declined quickly, making the need to do something even stronger than ever. So throughout the protests given, I did what I could to help out by picking up the broken pieces left behind in this small town that seems to be falling apart faster than it was ever made, and forgotten about just as quickly.

Helping with building this place back up was already a hard enough plan without having the damning sight of the long-term effects that this war had on the people and surroundings. That sight alone was something that affected me, whether I wanted it to or not. It was depressing, devastating and, when looking at such things, it makes you want to just give up, because that would be the easier battle. It was incredibly hard here to say the least, but I'm sure it doesn't even compare to the horror and devastation that surrounds the men and women out there on the battlefield.

It must be absolutely terrifying, since there was no guarantee that they would even come back at all, let alone in one piece. I just wish there was something I could do to help. I just want people to be happy and have a good life… but with no experience under my belt, or dress, I should say, it wasn't enough to go out and be able to help others in the military. But I am not one to just give up at the first chance of being shut down. I have tried many times and failed, but I won't stop trying to help pull the world from this darkness in any way that I can.

Eventually, the people holding me back grew tiresome of my attempts and agreed to give my words a chance. That was all I needed was just one chance and, believe me, I took it. My family was disappointed with me when hearing how many times I tried and failed at getting into the military. They wanted to make sure to shelter me from that world as much as they could, as if the war wasn't even going on, so when they heard that I was finally accepted for having a job after many attempts, not in the military but helping out here for them, to say that they were livid, would be a complete understatement.

They said it was embarrassing that I refused to act as a woman should and that they just wanted me to stay as far away from that chaos as I could as if I was some baby. But their sheltering didn't stop me from wanting to help out in any way possible. I have always had this motivation inside of me to help anyone that I can. I know I am not a fighter, but there are many other ways I can help people. I have felt like this since I can remember. It is not just a thought that is stuck in my head, but it is a feeling that I don't think can ever be torn from my heart.

So, I guess, if I can not help out over there in the war, then maybe I can help out here. I would just hope that the fact that I want to try and help someone out, would inevitably ensure that I would make some kind of difference somewhere, right? I would like to imagine I could be special in some kind of way by making a difference in this world. Maybe not by combat, but in some other way, that could finally help me feel complete. This hole in my heart cannot be filled by just anything. I need and crave to be a part of something more and maybe someday I will get just that.

Two years later...

It has been a couple of years since this crisis really started to change everything in this tiny little town. The job market has been getting worse as time goes on, with many stores shutting down a while ago, causing this place to look like some sort of ghost town. But luckily for us, the people around here were willing to change their ways to be able to save their stores and our little town from disappearing altogether. Probably from the eagerness of not wanting to be just like the sands in the wind, disappearing without a trace.

They still weren't happy about it but dealt with it and I guess that's all I could ask for. So a good chunk of women in our town came together and stood strong, showing that none of us would back down, no matter how hard things were on us. We were wanting so much more for all of our lives and future. Proving these last years that we are much stronger, helpful, and even dependable than most of them imagined. It's been a productive couple of years since this transition. I think it was the best thing I have ever done in my life thus far.

This new change to my world, is all I ever wanted. To finally be able to get out and learn something new, having a purpose that actually helps and means something to more than just myself. It's an intoxicating feeling being depended on for something more than just being someone nice to look at for ogling men, while not ever being heard. Since I shouldn't want to inconvenience a man with my thoughts.

That is a sentiment which is very hard for an outspoken person like me to accept. So many people that I have met in my life all seem to call me pushy and difficult, saying that's why no one has made me their little wife yet. Which is heartbreaking, since this is who I am and I would wish to not have to change that. Besides, I have always been a hopeless romantic just waiting for the other half of my heart to come around and sweep me off of my feet, but since that has never happened, it has started to make me think that those annoying people telling me to change might be right.

Mostly because I have been told to change for the sake of not being single forever, too many times to count. Plus the infamous saying that I don't know when to keep my mouth shut, to be seen but not heard. My father used to say that to me all the time when he was around his military buddies. Call me silly for my thoughts, but I fully believe that when I finally find my other half they won't care that I am outspoken. They will just love the genuine person that I am.

So, because I wanted to get out of the tiny box I had been mentally held in my entire life, I jumped on the working bandwagon of women as fast as I could, along with plenty of other outspoken women like me. This idea wasn't something common in our little town. At least not as much as it had started to become in most of the surrounding areas, the bigger cities. So being looked down on was a common occurrence once I jumped in with the others years ago.

But with a military base nearby, and many places on the brink of closing down, the need for extra help with tasks was getting more and more desperate. So desperate that they couldn't ignore the need for help, and I wasn't going to ignore the call for it either. So, at the side of many other women, we have stepped up, keeping the industries and economy afloat as the war trails on. After a long while of this hard-working routine, that is now embedded into my system, I can confidently say that I feel like a hard-working, new woman.

All of this has helped me gain a new confidence within myself that I never had before and probably never thought I would ever gain, no matter how badly I wanted it. So because of that, I know that I won't ever regret giving this whole ordeal a legitimate chance. I don't feel like I am changing lives by any means, but my work has some type of meaning and helps out in some way.. So I guess that's all I could ask for at the moment.

I keep every day going like it has for years now, with me working hard and doing what I can around this place while ignoring the comments thrown at me by the people who don't understand, because I know why I am doing this. So I'll keep staying strong and determined to give myself something it has never really had before but am absolutely grateful for. I will keep working hard by just keeping my head up, as best as I can in this already hard situation, and I just hope that if I can do that, that everything else will work out in time.