His Married, Human Mate

Chapter Two

I was laying in bed. My evening had gone pretty expected. I picked up Brock from the Day care center down the street. Drove home and made dinner; feed my sweet Brock. At least right now he was so little he wouldnt remember the unhappy times his parents went through. I would make sure he had plenty of happy memories to look back on as he got older.

Aj didnt come home and it was getting late.

He got off work at five regularly. I texted him and called him after an hour or so only to be sent to voicemail.

After two hours I started getting worried. I started calling and texting again. Where could he be this time?

I made him up a plate and sat it in the microwave and packed up the leftovers for lunch tomorrow. Did the dishes and put them all away while talking to Brock and playing with him.

DING!

My phone sound notified me that I had recieved a message.

Be home late. Dont wait up. - AJ

He had finally sent me a text message to let me know that he was at least alive and he would at least be home at some point.

ok, I made dinner. Put a plate in the microwave if you are hungry when you get home. I love you. - I texted him back

Aj never responded to my text message. Nothing at all. No I love you too.

I had no idea how long I would be able to be patient with him while he behaviored in such a way. I gave this man everything I could. He had all of me but What did I really have of him?

Before I had laid down I had given Brock a bath and read him a cute bed time story about hugs. Once I laid him in his crib; he went right to sleep. He was so precious.

It was now eight thirty pm and I just got out of the shower. I threw on some pajamas and got into the bed and decided I was going to wait up for AJ. My body felt exghausted from all the work today and my feet ached so badly. The bed was like a cloud keeping my afloat. I let sleep take me over and drift away.

**

CLICK

I heard the TV turn on in my room. I rolled over to find AJ sitting up in the bed bedside me. It was a little past midnight when I glanced at the bedside clock. He was shirtless, just laying in his boxers, I could smell fresh soap on him. He had just gotten out of the shower. I hope he didnt wake up Brock.

"You didnt wait up on me." Aj said without even taking his eyes from the tv.

"You told me not too." I whispered back. "Usually you still do." He replied, his tone even and monotone. "I guess I got tired of waiting." I said.

He looked down and met my eyes. He raised just one eye brow at me as if to question me. What exactly was I tired of waiting on? He knew. He knew I was waiting on him to step up and love me the way I deserved, waiting on him to process enough of his greif to talk to me, waiting on him to quit avoid Brock and be apart oof everything he was missing before it was too late. Before my patience grew then, before his son was old enough to remember where his dad was every evening or should I say where he was not.

But I dont say a word. I only stare back feeling defeated in every sense and so tired that I could only blink. "alright. Im tired so I am going to sleep. " He leaned down and placed a kiss on my forehead. Alchol radiating off of his breath across my face. I could only freeze and enjoy this moment while it lasted knowing that it was only because he drank that he torerated me now enough to place a kiss on my head.

Angry and hurt and desire all ran through me in one bunch. Angry that he avoided me and drank all evening. Hurt that this was the only times he was kind to me. Desire for the man that I had loved so much and wanted only for him to reject me each time that I attempted to touch him.

I rolled over to hide the tears that I knew were going to fall. They fell sliently against my pillow. Knowing that he was hurting on the inside and that caused him to push me away. I had to believe he still loved me some where in there. Or was he just here out of obligation now because I had given him a son?

I would never know the truth. My salty tears continued to flow. It was just merely minutes before I could hear him solftly snoring right behind me. I slowly got out of the bed as not to wake him and tip-toed to the bathroom down the hall. I flipped the light on and locked the door. I turned and leaned on it and slowly sat down to the floor and pulled my knees up to my chest.

I let the tear fall more now than earlier. I wanted all the pain and hurt out of me. As if I cried long and hard enough that it would all go away. I wouldnt have anymore pain. But it would still be there. It was always there. But for now I will sit here and do this ugly heart wrenching crying in private. These bathroom walls saw all the brokenness of me.

I am not sure how long I had sat there but eventually my tears ran dry and my body felt weak and weary. I knew I had to get sleep. After all I still had to put myself back together and take care of Brock and go to work tomorrow.

I went back to the bed and the sleep came even faster than before.