Campus Crush

5

I entered the quiet, empty room, feeling a wave of loneliness strike me.

I wanted to go back home, where the closest friend that I had was my brother.

I blew out a heavy sigh and took off my book bag, glancing towards Nash's side of the room.

He didn't have any pictures of what I would infer to be his girlfriend. That is, if he really had one.

I quickly realized there was nothing for a loner like me to do here. Besides, I was hungry, so maybe I could catch Ava at one of the dining halls nearby. I was just praying her friend was anyone but my roommate. Imagine the coincidence if it was him.

With my phone in my back pocket and my key on my lanyard, I hastily exited my room. I began to lock the door after myself when one of the boys in the room next to mine walked out of his own room. He saw me and I quickly shifted my gaze, snatching my key out of the lock.

"Oh, come on. I don't bite," he spoke to me. I shyly looked over at him, remaining silent.

I somehow mustered the courage to send him a courteous smile, but it didn't last very long. Taking a good look at him, I was a little caught off guard. I'd expected him to have been taller or muscular. He seemed to have a build much like mine - small. Probably even smaller.

He was quite skinny, and wore glasses. If I had to take a wild guess, I'd say he wasn't even 18 yet.

"You shy?" he asked, the taunt in his words missing. I straightened up my posture and stared at him with wide eyes. Why was he talking to me? I didn't do anything. "You're shy," he concluded, stepping closer. He seemed a couple inches shorter than me, making him about 5'4" or so. "You don't have to be, really. I'm cool... I think."

I nodded, realizing he wasn't a threat. "Hi," I greeted quietly. I didn't understand myself sometimes. I was socially awkward and a little shy, but with someone like Ava, I felt like I'd known her for a while. Maybe it was her bubbly and energetic personality that brought out some kind of excitement in me. Maybe it was the fact that she actually cared to see a potential friend in me. She invited me to have breakfast with her. I never get invited to anything.

I was definitely going to see if I could find her and take her up on that offer. There was no point in being alone.

The boy in front of me held his hands behind his back, swaying his body from side to side. "Call me Lucas."

"Casper," I whispered my name and he sent a blinding smile my way.

"Um, you're really cute." He chuckled and I couldn't help but blush at the compliment. I didn't get those often either. Should I thank him? Before I could decide on that, he informed, "I'm sort of a nerd, admittedly. Don't worry, I'm not like a grammar Nazi, book worm, math Wiz, or science geek. I just know shit." He smiled proudly. "A lot of shit."

"Oh... that's..." I wanted to say cool, but with my tiny voice, that sentence trailed off like a train.

"Yeah, so if you ever need help on your homework or something... maybe studying for a test, then let me know. We could... grab coffee some time too?" His eyebrows lifted in question, so I quickly nodded in agreement to rid myself of him. He seemed a little surprised, his eyes shining with happiness. "Wow, really? I mean, I usually have to work hard just to get someone to agree on a date with me."

"A date?" This time, I found my voice because it had risen a few octaves, a drop of shock mixed within it.

"Couldn't you tell?" He gestured to his shirt that had obviously been disregarded by me. I looked at it, and it was black with the words I AM THE RAINBOW SHEEP OF MY FAMILY AND I AM PROUD OF IT! on it. "I'm gay," he stated, and sounded as if he'd never been prouder to say it. "I'm actually going to an l***q meeting this evening. Would you... like to come? I-I mean, anyone is welcome so if you're straight that's perfectly fine."

I was too busy staring at his shirt to answer. He was gay, and quite proud to be.

How... inspiring.

When he shifted his body under my gaze, I looked back into his eyes. I noticed now that they expressed a sense of sadness, so I tilted my head.

"What's wrong?"

"Y-you don't support it," he concluded. "That's why you didn't respond."

"I-I do! I just... I really like your shirt."

He gasped lightly, his eyes illuminating. "I have tons more!" And just like that, be sprang to life again, using animated gestures. "They all have different quotes -- ooh, maybe I could show you them sometime! Or maybe, if you come to the meeting tonight, I'll give you a pair to wear. And you can keep it!" His enthusiasm was radiating, and I could feel that the joy of being gay was something he held dear to his heart. In less than a minute, Lucas had already fashioned plans and ideas for us to hang out, and I couldn't refuse.

I didn't like labels, but I was sure that I wasn't straight. I was something, just not that. I didn't exactly know what name to put to it, but maybe Lucas could help with that. Maybe going to this meeting could help me make supportive friends. Lord knew I needed that now more than ever.

"Lucas, maybe we could grab some breakfast right now?" My cheeks began to heat up just because I was actually asking another human being to do something with me.

Eagerly, he nodded and started walking backwards. "We could go to the new dining hall!"

I followed him to the elevator and we waited for it to come up. He clasped his hands, springing up just slightly. I knew he'd be a handful, so I'd be sure to introduce him to Ava if I saw her. They might get along, plus she obviously supported the LGBT+ community as well.

Lucas led the way to Chase Dining Hall, thankfully not too far from our dorms. It was a buffet-type dining hall, and that may contribute to the fact it was increasingly popular. We had to swipe our ID cards at the register first to be let in.

"I'm getting butt loads of chicken," Lucas told me, dragging me over to the serving counters. We grabbed plates and he snatched up a tong, shoving all kinds of meat onto his plate.

"I'm the most unhealthy person you'd meet. I eat a lot but my body digests too quickly," he explained.

I decided to go for some classic bacon and eggs, with a bagel and hot chocolate.

"Casper?" I heard someone call my name. It was a slightly high-pitched tone so I inferred that it was Ava. I looked at her and smiled.

"Hi."

"You came! That's great. My friend's still getting his food."

I nodded, feeling a bit queasy about this friend of hers. All I knew was that his name was Nash, he was gay, and he just got out of a long-distance relationship.

"Well, this is my, um, room neighbor, Lucas," I introduced. "Lucas, meet Ava."

"Hi! You guys should totally sit with us! Yes, you're definitely joining us! Where's Nash already?" She whirled around to scan for him and I glanced over at tiny Lucas.

He smirked at me. "Ya know... You could just call me friend, not neighbors," he informed me.

"I'll... keep that in mind," I promised him.

"There you are! Ooh, you got a nice plate," Ava was saying.

I glanced up and my heart dropped. My plate would've slipped out my hands if I hadn't gripped it harder. Alright. So there was that answer.

He was glaring at me, but it seemed Ava and Lucas were oblivious to the hostility in his expression. Maybe I was imagining it?

My roommate was Ava's friend. My roommate was Ava's supposedly gay friend who supposedly had a boyfriend back home and supposedly broke up with him.

It shouldn't be shocking at all, but what about when he asked me if I were gay? What about when he contemptuously growled that if I was, he'd find another place to live?

He was on the phone with a significant other for sure, just last night. He called that person babe, so had that been his boyfriend?

Why was this even my concern? It wasn't any of my business.

"Nash, this is my new friend, Casper, and his friend, Lucas. They're gonna sit with us."

He didn't say a word to any of us, and I felt smaller and smaller as if I were shrinking in size.

"Nice to meet you, Lucas and... Casper," he muttered, turning away to find a table.

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