The Brink of Light

Eva. Did you really think you could disappear? That you could just pack your bags, cross the ocean, and cut me out like I was nothing? You know that’s not how this works. I know you too well. You don’t let go. You fought for me. For us. You weren’t the type to walk away. But you did. You ran. You vanished. I don’t count the days. I just feel every f*****g second without you, tearing me apart. You’re living your clean, safe, perfect little life. And I’m still here. You don’t have to reply. But you’ll read this. Because I am still under your skin. Do you remember the way I touched you? How I’d drag my hand down your spine, slow, just enough to make you shiver— before gripping your hips, pressing my fingers deep into your skin? How you’d go still, waiting, holding your breath, before I decided what to do next? I loved that moment. The tension. The pause. That second when everything between us burned hotter than our bodies. You were perfect. Mine. You still are. I remember the way you fell asleep on my chest, your fingers tracing my tattoos. I remember the way you played with my piercings, twisting the bars just enough to drive me insane. I remember how I’d hold you so tight it hurt. How I’d breathe with you, match your rhythm, and think, “She won’t leave. She’ll fix me.” But you left. You said I was ruining you. You tried to save me, and I refused to be saved. But you know this, Eva— You are my only light. Without you, I rot in the dark. But it’s different now. I know how this sounds. You’ve heard it a thousand times before. But I’m not lying. I’m changing. For you. For us. Because what we had— it wasn’t just a mistake. It wasn’t just obsession. It was the only thing that ever felt real. Tell me—does he make you happy? Your stable, safe, predictable man. Does he know how you like to be kissed? That you love it when I drag my tongue along your neck, slow, from your collarbone to your ear— before biting down just hard enough to make you gasp? That you love it when I press you against me, skin to skin, until there’s no space left between us? That you love it when I grab your hair, wrap it around my fist, force you to look at me? That you always break eye contact first— and that’s when I’d sink into you, slow, deep, until you forgot how to breathe? Do you remember that? Do you remember the way your nails raked down my back while I fought to hold on? Do you remember the way your hair fell in my face when you were on top of me, riding me like you owned me— and f**k, maybe you did? Because I let you. Because you were the only one who ever could. No matter what he does—it’ll never be like this. Tell me, does he make you dizzy? Does he make your legs shake? Or is his stability the only thing you care about now? I don’t buy it. You miss the chaos. You miss me. You miss the way I shoved you against the wall, tore your clothes off, ran my hands over every inch of your skin, marked you, made you beg for it. You think you made the right choice. That life without me is freedom. But we both know that’s a lie. You’re trying to erase the part of you that belonged to me. But that’s impossible. You’re not even the same girl anymore. You changed. You look different now. You’re starting to look like me. Tattoos. Dyed hair. Leather. Come on, Eva. Really? You think I don’t see it? You miss me. You know you do. I know you hear my songs. I know you know they’re about you. And I know you feel it— I’m still waiting. I know you’ll come back. Because you’re mine, Eva. You’ve always been mine. Run. Hide. Cross oceans. It won’t change anything. I’ll wait for you. It doesn’t matter how long it takes. Because one day, you’ll say it again: “You called, and I came. I couldn’t not come.” And I’ll prove to you— You never made a mistake.