European Travel Short Stories: A Complete Collection

Once upon a time in the city of Madrid, there was a poor woman who fell asleep in a sidewalk nearby the marketplace. A rich man walked past her and, his attention caught by the sleeping poor woman, stepped right into a canal. He screamed and cursed like a madman in an asylum, dashing off past the still asleep woman. A gay man from the Philippines laughed at the rich man and wandered around the marketplace, his golden bracelet clanging while he sang stupid songs based on the songs he misheard. He loudly sang song after song, though his favourite seemed to be a misheard version of “Nipa Hut”. “In a nipa hut, there lives a baldy He ate potatoes, and farted loudly! The walls fell down, the roof flew away ‘It’s not my fault,’ is what he says!” He didn’t stop singing the misheard lyrics at the front of a drug store near the marketplace. He shamelessly inserted his finger in his nostrils, shouting that his nose itches and that they should mind their own business. Suddenly, a local singer famous in the marketplace for being unable to sing well shouted madly at him, singing out loud “Why Should I be Ashamed?” The gay brandished a wooden bat and challenged the singer to fight each other in front of the crowd. When they start the fight, suddenly a fat market butcher appeared, lugging a large bucket of dirty water which he used to clean his meat goods. He saw the two fighting each other near his place and angrily threw his dirty water at the two along with a burst of curses. “Oh! Scared of water, are you?” roared the butcher, laughing like a seal as the gay ran away crying from the marketplace. “Why are gays so insane, maybe they just eat rotten meat they picked up in the trash…” the meat seller said while he removed the bones that attached to the beef. He gave the whole beef to the buyer, as usual short-changing the customer. And as usual the customer screamed madly at him, saying that there was not enough change. “You should be ashamed! You’re worse than the Devil!” “I’m not the Devil! I’m beautiful!” the meat seller said while he disposed of the bones, the customer too angry to hear those words as she stomped her way for home. Another gay went to the neighbouring stall to buy chicken meat for dinner, but suddenly a thin girl vendor across the street threw a bucketful of water that she used to clean fish. “No gays allowed!!” cried she, a girl named Pia, imitating the rude butcher’s feat earlier. Now this Pia was the only child of a brawler outside of Madrid and was a talkative liar who respects no one but herself, looking down on everyone in the marketplace and especially on the gays. The poor gay, now smelling like fish, was followed by a large group of cats large and small as he ran for home to take a much needed bath. As much as he wanted to teach Pia a lesson, he also knew that she would only attack him more often if he did. Pablo, the Filipino gay earlier, was now stranded in Madrid. His cousin threw him out of the house because the neighbours always complain about Pablo’s loud mouth and offensive songs, forcing him to wander the city. Despite his careless manner and weird actions he really cares about the poor people in the city, although the stress of living in the streets and having his friends leave him nearly drove him mad. And now even he got drenched thanks to Pia’s antics, ending immediately his daydreams. A lot of people saw Pia abusing the Filipino gay and shouted at her to stop what she was doing. Everyone started talking among themselves about the rude vendor, calling her out for her rudeness and judging her appearance. Pablo looked at Pia angrily, she replying with another bucket of dirty water that got some passer-by’s wet. Everyone silently cursed her, in mind if not in words. Everyone did, except for the meat seller with the weird laugh. Day in and day out he can’t help but stare at her like a maniac, obviously in love with her. And day in and day out Pia keeps throwing liquids at the gays who are caught crossing at the front of her fish store, forcing the gays to go the long way to the other stores.