SPLITTING FREE

Amelia John is 43 years old, married, and has two adult children. Olivia, who is nineteen and in college, and Daniel, who is twenty-two and married to Mary. Jack and Amelia have been married for twenty-five years and engaged for twenty-three. He is also a pig. Amelia and Jack fell in love after meeting at the college where she was pursuing her culinary studies. She adored cooking and had lofty aspirations of becoming successful in the food industry. The tall, dashing student architect who swept her off her feet, however, made her fall deeply in love, and within 18 months of their first encounter, they were married. Their early years were wonderful. She didn't mind delaying her plans to become a chef because she had her baby soon after completing college. The following few years were spent fully focused on raising her family after the birth of her daughter three years later. She was unable to pinpoint when things started to go awry, but gradually he began to exert control over her. Without her realizing it, her friends started to slip away and she found herself spending every night of the week at home. There will be no more coffee runs or girl's nights out. Her phone was silent, and she stopped receiving invitations to friends' homes for conversation or coffee. Her phone was no longer ringing. He never used force against her. But he had psychological and emotional influence over her. She needed some time—actually, years—to realize that she had been mostly cut off from her family and friends. To the point where she was unable to recall the last time she left the house for anything other than picking up or dropping off the kids at school, going shopping, or visiting the doctor. He was in total command of her life. He made all of her travel, activity, and contact decisions. Her initial reaction was to take the kids and leave when she finally realized what he had done. He persuaded her that what he did was for the benefit of the children as well as her by making it apparent that he would never permit it and that he would do everything in his power to prove that she was a bad mother. She lacked the self-assurance, like so many women in her shoes, to ignore his threats and simply leave, so she stayed. After all, he was amazing with children and, as he had assured her, had never mistreated her physically. She stayed and realized that her life wasn't all that horrible because he took care of her needs.