The Apogian War

Chapter 30

go and give Dyan his appointment as cadet master, or-he struggled again, ignoring the pain-"I'll get out of bed and do it myself." His anger 1 could face, his roffering was something else. I struggled between rage and a deadly misgiving, "Father, I have never disobeyed you. But I beg you, I beg you, I repeated, "to reconsider. You know that no good will come of He was gentle again. "Lew, you're still very young. Some day you'll leam that we all have compromises to make, and we make them with the best grace we can. You have to do the best you can within a situa tion. You can't cat nuts without cracking some shells." He stretched out his hand to me. "You're my main support, Lew. Don't force me to fight you too. I need you at my side." I clasped his hand between my fingers; it felt swollen and feverish. How could I add to his troubles? He trusted me. What right had I to set up my judgment against his? He was my father, my commander, the lord of my Domain. My only duty was to obey. Out of his sight, my rage flared again. Who would have believed Fa ther would compromise the honor of the Guards? And how quickly he had maneuvered me again, like a puppet-master pulling strings of love, loyalty, ambition, my own need for his recognition! I will probably never forget the interview with Dyan Hardais. Oh, he was civil enough. He even commended me on my caution. I kept my self barriered and was scrupulously polite, but I am sure he knew how I felt, like a farmer who had just set a wolf to guard the fowl-house. There was only one grain of comfort in the situation: I was no longer a cadet!

As the cadets walked toward the barracks, Darkovan along them, he heard little of their chatter and horseplay. His face was burning. He could cheerfully have murdered Lno Faltron. Then a tardy fairness came back to him. Everybody there obviously knew what was going to happen, so it was evidently something that went on now and then. He was just the one who stumbled into it. It could have been anyone. Suddenly he felt better. For the first time in his life he was being treated exactly like anybody else. No deference. No special treatment. He brightened and began to listen to what they were saying. "Where the hell were you brought up, cadet, not to answer to your name?" "I was educated at Evertin," Darkovan said, provoking more jeers and laughter. "Hey, we have a monk among us! Were you too busy at your prayers to hear your name?" "No, it was the hour of Great Silence and the bell hadn't rung for speech!" Darkovan listened with an amiable and rather witless grin, which was the best thing he could possibly have done. A third-year cadet, superior and highly polished in his green and black uniform, conveyed them into a barracks room at the far end of the courtyard. "First-year men in here." "Hey," someone asked, "what happened to the Commander?" The junior officer in charge said, "Wash your ears next time. He broke some bones in a fall. We all heard." Someone said carefully, not loud enough for the officer to hear, "Are we going to be stuck with the bastard all season?"

"Shut up," said Julian MacAran, "Lamart-Faltron's not a bad sort. He's got a temper if you set him off, but nothing like the old man in a rage. Anyway, it could be worse," be added, with a wary glance at the cadet who was out of range for the moment. "Lno's fair and he keeps his hands to himself, which is more than you can say for some people." Dan asked, "Who's really going to be cadet-master? Di Asturien's been retired for years. He served with my grandfather!" Damon MacAnndra said with a careful look at the officer, "I heard it was going to be you know who, Captain Hardais." Julian said, "I hope you're joking. Last night I was down in the ar mory and . "His voice fell to a whisper. Darkovan was too far away, but the lads crowded around him reacted with nervous, high-pitched gig gles. Damon said, "That's nothing. Listen, did you hear about my C cousin Octavien Vallonde? Last year-" "Chill it," a strange cadet said, just loud enough for Darkovan to hear. "You know what happened to him for gossiping about a Dover heir. Have you forgotten there's one in the barracks now?" Silence abruptly fell over the knot of cadets. They separated and began to drift around the barracks room. To Darkovan it was like a slap in the face. One minute they were laughing and joking, including him in their jokes; suddenly he was an outsider, a threat. It was worse because he had not really caught the drift of what they were saying. He drifted toward Dan, who was at least a familiar face. "What happens now?" "I guess we wait for someone to tell us. I didn't mean to attract at tention and get you in trouble, Lord Darkovan." "You too, Dani?" That formal Lord Darkovan seemed a symbol of the distance they were all keeping. He managed to laugh. "Didn't you just hear Lno Faltron remind me very forcibly that nobody would call me Lord Darkovan down here?" Dani gave him a quick, spontaneous grin. "Right." He looked around the barracks room. It was bleak, cold and comfortless. A dozen hard, narrow camp-beds were ranged in two rows along the wall. All but one had been made up. Dan gestured to the only one still unchosen and said, "Most of us were down here last night and picked beds. I guess that one will have to be yours. It's next to mine, anyhow." Darkovan shrugged. "They haven't left me much choice." It was, of course, the least desirable location, in a corner under a high window, which would probably be drafty. Well, it couldn't be worse than the student dormitory at Nevarsin. Or colder. the mom The third-year cadet said, "Men, you can have the rest of the moment

ing to make up your beds and put away your clothing. No food in bar racks at any time anything left lying on the floor will be confiscated." He glanced around at the boys waiting quietly for his orders. He said, "Uniforms will be given out tomorrow. MacAnndra Damon id, "Sir "Get a haircut from the barber, you're not at a dancing class. Hair below the collarbone is officially out of uniform. Your mother may have loved those curls, but the officers won't." Damon tarmed as red as an apple and ducked his head. Darkovan examined the bed, which was made of rough planking, with a straw mattress covered with course, clean ticking. Folded at the foot were a couple of thick dark gray blankets. They looked scratchy. The other lads were making up the beds with their own sheets. Darkovan began making a mental list of the things he should fetch from his grandfa ther's rooms. It began with bed linens and a pillow. At the head of each bed was a narrow wooden shelf on which each cadet had already placed his personal possessions. At the foot of the bed a rough wooden box, cach lid scarred with knife-marks, intertwined initials and hacked or lightly burned-in crests, the marks of generations of restless boys. It struck Regis that years ago his father must have been a cadet in this was a very room, on a hard bed like this, his possessions reduced, whatever his rank or riches, to what he could keep on a narrow shelf a hand-span wide. Dan was arranging on his shelf a plain wooden comb, a hair brush, a battered cup and plate and a small box carved with silver, from which he reverently took the small cristoforo statue of the Bearer of Burdens, carrying his weight of the world's sorrows. Below the shelf were pegs for his sword and dagger. Dani's looked very old. Heirlooms in his family? All of them were there because their forefathers had been, Darkovan thought with the old resentment. He swore he would never walk the trail carved out for aDarkon heir, yet here he was. The cadet officer was walking along the room, making some kind of final check. At the far end of the room was an open space with a couple of heavy benches and a much-scarred wooden table. There was an open fireplace, but no fire was burning at present. The windows were high and narrow, unglazed, covered with slatted wood shutters, which could be closed in the worst weather at the price of shutting out most of the light. The cadet officer said, "Each of you will be sent for some time today and tested by an arms-master." He saw Regis sitting on the end of his bed and walked down the row of beds to him. "You came in late. Did anyone give you a copy of the arms-manual?"

"No, sir." The officer gave him a battered booklet. "I heard you were educated at Evertin, I suppose you can read. Any questions? "I didn't-my grandfather didn't-no one sent my things down. May 1 send for them?" The older lad said, not unkindly, "There's no one to fetch and carry for you down here, cadet. Tomorrow after dinner you'll have some off-duty time and you can go and fetch what you need for yourself. Meanwhile, you'll just have to make out with the clothes on your back." He looked Regis over, and Darkovanimagined a veiled smeer at the elaborate garments he had put on to present himself to his grandfather this moming. "You're the nameless wonder, aren't you? Remembered your name yet?" "Cadet Darkov, sir," Darkovan said, his face burning again, and the officer nodded, said, "Very good, cadet," and went away. And that was obviously why they did it, Darkovan thought. Probably nobody ever forgot twice. Dan, who had been listening, said, "Didn't anyone tell you to bring down everything you'd need the night before? That's why Lord Faltron sent me down early." "No, no one told me." He wished he had thought to ask Lno, while they could speak together as friends and not as cadet and commander, what he would need in barracks. Dan said diffidently, "Those are your best clothes, aren't they? I could lend you an ordinary shirt to put on; you're about my size." "Thank you, Dani. I'd be grateful. This outfit isn't very suitable, is it?" Dan, kneeling in front of his wooden chest, brought out a clean but very shabby linen shirt, much patched around the elbows. Darkovan pulled off the dyed-leather tunic and the fine frilled shirt under it and slid into the patched one. It was a little large. Dan apologized. "It's big for me too. It used to belong to Lno-Captain Faltron, I mean. Lord Poseidon gave me some of his outgrown clothes, so that have a decent outfit for the cadets. He gave me a good horse too. He's been very kind to me."Darkovan laughed. "I used to wear Lno's outgrown clothes the years I was there. I kept growing out of mine, and with the fire-watch called every few days, no one had time to make me any new ones or send to town." He laced up the cords at the neck. Dan said, "It's hard to imagine you wearing outgrown clothes." "I didn't mind wearing Lno's.