Midnight Sky

Chapter 18

Athena andyan na Ang iyong sundo!..."

"S-sandali Lang ho!..." Nahirapan akong bitbitin Ang aking dalang bag. Iniwan Kasi sa akin Ni Kyo Ang mga damit na dadalhin nya. At ako nalang daw Ang magdala mamaya. After putting some lip balm onto my lips to keep it hydrated, I take a final look into my mirror. I wore a yellow flowy dress partnered with a white sandals.

Nagmadali na akong bumaba Ng hagdan. Pinagsabihan pa ako Ni Manang Olivia na magdahan-dahan raw at baka matapilok at mahulog ako sa hagdan. Tinulungan nya rin akong ibaba Ang mga bag ko. Pagdating namin sa tapat Ng gate ay ipinababa ko na Kay manang Ang mga bag at sinabing so Kyo nalang Ang bahala. Dali-dali namang lumapit so Kyo sa direksyon namin at saka binitbit Ang mga bag papunta sa compartment Ng sasakyan. Napalingon ako Kay Manang Olivia nang bigla nya akong yakapin Ng mahigpit. Narinig ko Ang kanyang mahinang hikbi at pag taas baba Ng kanyang balikat. Nataranta agad ako Kaya niyakap ko sya pabalik.

"P-passnsya na Hindi ko Lang lubos akalaing Ang dating batang inaalagaan ko noon ay Isa nang ganap na dalaga ngayon. May boyfriend na nga eh...." She said pertaining to Kyo. But I immediately shook my head.

"H-hindi ko pa sya boyfriend. At saka ano ka ba Naman manang!. Tatlong Araw Lang kaming magbabakasyon. Ako pa Rin Naman Ang batang inaalagaan mo noon! Ako pa Rin si Nini!..." I said while smiling cutely at her. I even blinked my eyes multiple times at manang that made her chuckled. Nagyakapan kaming dalawa bago kami tuluyang nagpaalam Ni Kyo.

"Close talaga Kayo no?..." Kyo asked breaking the silence. Kanina pa Kasi kami tahimik sa loob Ng sasakyan. And oh by the way. Me and Kyo looked like a couple again. Naka yellow din sya na na polo shirt partnered with a white skinny pants. Ang hilig talagang gumaya Ng suot. Napatango-tango Naman so Kyo sa sagot ko. Again it was silence. Tanging Ang tunog Lang Ng mahina at aircon Ang marinig mo sa loob Ng sasakyan. It's awkward.

Tumingin na lamang ako sa labas at isinandal Ang kanang siko sa bintana.

There's an Indian proverb that says, "Sometimes, the wrong train will get you to the right station."

Either it is about life or love, it can't be just a straight path. There are always obstacles, stopovers, or sometimes, detours. They are not meant to make your journey long- but to build you as a person. Challenges make us stronger. Downfalls make us wiser.

And you know what's more? There's no formula. There's no such thing as patterns. What's great for others might be difficult for you.

Breath.

You're not in any competition. Your mere existence and will to survive are already accomplishments. Don't overthink. If plan A didn't work well, there are more letters in the alphabet.

And whatever I've done as of this moment, I want to say, I am very proud of myself. Cause I did well.

But...Lately, I have realized that I only wake up every morning just to live another day, no more courage, determination nor desire to live fully. It's like waking up just to feel the same pain, to hide fears and tears to continue pretending as if life showered me with happiness but the truth was, it's opposite of what I am pretending. The more I wake up, the emptier I feel. Perhaps, I am still proud of myself, because I keep on living even though I don't know what I am living for.

My thoughts were cut off by a music.

What daw is it?~

And in what month?~

This clock never seemed so alive~

I can't keep up, and I can't back down~

I've been losing so much time~

Is it only me? Deja Vu. This is exactly what happened before. Biglang may tutogtog that will lead us to awkwardness. Napangiti ako Ng maalala Ang mga matatamis na ala ala kasama si Kyo. We've come to far na pala. Dati inis na inis ako dito pero ngayon hinahanap-hanap ko na Ang presensya nya.

Cause it's you and me~

And all of the people with nothing to do~

Nothing to lose~

And it's you and me~

And all of the people and I don't know why~

I can't keep my eyes off of you~

Sinabayan nanaman Ni Kyo Ang kanta katulad Ng ginawa nya dati habang nakatitig sa akin. The song again. Parang ipinapahiwatig Ng kanyang Ito Ang mga nagawa na naming dalawa ganabg magkasama. We've come so far in this journey at walang dapat bumitaw. Kahit Hindi sigurado, susugal pa Rin ako.

What are the things that I want to say~

Just aren't coming out right?~

I'm tripping on words~

You got my head spinning~

I don't know where to go from here~

And it's you and me and all of the people~

And I don't know why~

I can't keep my eyes off of you~

"I love you my goddess, Athena. Even when the time comes that you will choose to go.. I'll still love and choose you..."

What day is it?~

And in what month?~

This clock never seemed so alive~

Dapat ba akong sumugal sa kanya kahit walang kasoguraduhan? Siguro Ito talaga Ang pakiramdam Ng umiibig. Sakripisyo. Ngunit papaano Kung Hindi nya ako aaluhin sakaling mahulog ako sa kanya? What will happen to me? There's so many what ifs were flying into my mind but one thing is for sure.

"I love you too, my darling, Kyo..."

***

"Tanong ko Lang... Ano Ang gusto mong ipangalan kapag magkaroon na tayo- I mean ikaw Ng anak in the future? Kapag lalaki ah!..." Kyo asked while I was busy unpacking our things.

Ang sarap Ng higa nya sa kabilang Kama habang ako ay nagliligpit rito. Napakagaling talaga. Isang room na Ang kinuha naming dalawa dito sa isang resort sa tagaytay. Pero dalawang Kama Naman Kaya Hindi kami matutulog Nang magkatabi. Napaisip Naman ako sa kanyang tanong. Ano nga ba?

"Hmmm... I think Blaze..." I said while continuing my work.

"Blaze diba Yun ung matalim na bagay na ginagamit para sugatan pag nagpatandok?"... What? Hindi ko kaagad nakuha Ang sinabi nya. Tinignan ko sya nang may pagtataka sa aking mukha.

"Huh?..."

"Hindi ba blaze Yun?..." Taka nya ring tanong sa akin. Napaisip ako saglit. Ano ba Ang ginagamit na pangsugat kapag nagpatandok? Ay gag-..

"Gag-blade Kasi Yun kyo gago ka talaga HAHAHAHAH!..." I laughed loudly. I even held my stomach.

Nang matapos ako sa pagliligpit ay natulog na muna kami. Mahaba Rin Ang naging byahe namin kanina at hapon na Rin nang makarating kami rito. Gabi na nang nagising ako. Inilibot ko Ang paningin ko sa paligid pero Wala Ni isang anino Ni Kyo Ang Nakita ko. Wala Rin sya sa Cr. So I guess iniwan nya ako. What a gentleman indeed.

Nag-shower na lamang ako and did my night routine. Bumaba na ako upang makakain Ng hapunan. My forehead creased. Naglakad ako at tumingin sa paligid. It's already 6 in the evening and it's getting dark but thanks to the lamp posts na nagsilbing liwanag sa dinaraanan ko.

A signed board caught my eyes it says; 'this way my Athena' so I went to that direction. There was a red carpet na nakalatag sa may damuhan. Nasilaw ako Ng may tumama sa aking ikaw from a camera. I looked around but I saw none. Sino Ang kumuha Ng picture.

*Click* *click* *click*

Nakakatatlo na itong mystery cameraman ko ah. When I turned right my mouth agape when I saw a gazebo. Fairy lights are everywhere.

I gasped when Kyo appeared in front of my with a white tulips. He gave it to me and assist me to sit down. May hawak syang camera. So I guess sya Ang kumha Ng litrato ko kanina. May isang round table sa gitna namin and a wine was placed at the center of the table. Kyo clapped his hands at nagulat ako nang biglang may tumugtog na violin.

(Play I'll Be There

Song by Julie Anne San Jose)

First time I laid my eyes on someone like you~

I can't forget the hour, that moment with you~

Then I have realized, love's growing deep inside~

I feel the beating of my heart~

'Cause every day, every night~

I keep looking up the skies~

And I pray that someday you will

wake up in my arms~

And love will never end~

We belong together, always and forever~

Call my name and I'll be there~

He sang spinning me around. Nakangiti kami habang nagsasayaw. We're dancing under the midnight sky. He gently swayed me following the rhythms of the song. It felt so good. Saksi Ang mga tala ngayon Kung gaano ako kasaya. Nasalisihan Ng buwan Kung gaano ako naging at magiging masaya sa piling at mga bisig Ni Kyo. I know it was only a dance but for me? This dance was not only a simple dance. Cause for me? This feels like home. My home..

Spending my days and nights just thinkin' of you (thinkin' of you)~

How you make me wanna smile with the things that you do (with the things that you do)~

When will I hear you say? (Hear you say)~

Love's coming on your way (love's coming on your way)~

And that you start to feel the same~

Ako na Ang kumanta sa pangalawang verse. I was singing while staring at Kyo's eyes. That eyes that I keep falling for. Parang nasa MGA ulap kami dahil napakagaan Ng pakiramdam ko ngayon. It was just like a movie wherein the partners will swayed and dance as if there's no other people existing in this world. They only know one person in their life.

'Cause every day, every night~

'Cause every day, every night I keep looking up the skies (looking up the skies)~

And I pray that someday you will wake up in my arms~

Ooh, love will never end~

We belong together, always and forever~

Call my name and I'll be there~

Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh~

Nakatingin pa Rin kami sa Mata Ng isa't Isa.

"If you begin by sacrificing yourself to those you love, you will end by hating those to whom you have sacrificed yourself...." Ika nga nila but for me? Sacrificing myself for Kyo is worth it. Hindi Naman ako ganito dati ngunit nang makilala ko si Kyo? Lahat na Ng Hindi Ko gusto ay nagustuhan ko. Just a simple conversation between him and I is enough to make me happy.

There is plenty of fish in the sea, they said. But obviously, they are different from one another.

What I'm trying to say is, if you found someone genuine, someone that loves you more than anything else, someone that's willing to make adjustments just to be with you, someone that makes things easier, and someone that appreciates you for who you are- please keep them. Care for them. Love them.

Love them as if they are the last fish in the sea.

"My love for you my Athena is true,

no margin of error,

no contradictions. If you're not ready to bloom for me or them,

then bloom for yourself.

bloom internally.

bloom so much that buds fall from your bones

and earth breaks beneath your feet.. I am willing to wait my love... Just know that your Knight Kyo was here ready to serve his goddess Athena..."

He kissed me passionately. Unti-unting tumulo Ang mga luha na kanina pang gustong lumabas. Umiyak ako Hindi dahil malungkot kundi dahil napakasaya ko ngayon. Knowing that someone was willing to wait for me until I was ready to trust to the people around me again. Knowing that someone still adores and loves me even I have flaws. Knowing that Kyo feels the same way I do for him. Knowing that he loves me too make me cry.

I have learned to live in silence. To love and break, and to feel pain and joy in silence. There is something in this quietness that makes me feel alive. That maybe, all I ever needed all throughout the years was myself. That being alone doesn't mean you have nothing at all. I learned to fix myself without anyone knowing, and no one even noticed how damaged I am. Sure, I still talk to people but I finally knew what are the things that I should keep to myself. Despite broken ribcage, fallen hopes, discarded dreams, and loses, I still get to stand on my own feet-without depending on any soul.

I have learned to live in silence. After all, what would be left in this life is silence, oblivion, some kind of nothingness. I have deprived myself of so many things, but I guess it's never too late to give me the peace I deserve. And Kyo gave it to me. The peace and love I've been chasing and craving for ever since I was a kid.

"Sa mundong puno Ng kapaguran, ikaw Ang naging pahinga ko Mahal..."

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