DESIRE

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

WINTER BRAY

Pacing. Pacing, back and forth. Pacing some more. Right. Left.

That's what I had been doing for the last forty minutes. Just pacing back and forth in the room, in which I slept. My mind had been thinking a lot lately. About anything, and everything. I hated over-thinking, and I seemed to do that a lot lately. Who was I kidding? Overthinking was my speciality as well as fake smiling.

Theo was god-knows-where at the current time. Waking up alone to an empty house, he had left a note saying he was out, and I shouldn't worry. Now, that's what I had been doing. Worrying. I had no idea how long he had been away when I woke up, and he wasn't back yet. Was he okay? Where was he?

Telling myself to calm down for the tenth time, I decided to take a shower. Stealing one of Theo sweatshirts, I walked into the bathroom and turned on the water. I stripped myself naked and cast a quick glance at my white hair. That was still something I would have to get used to.

I sighed as the hot water hit my skin. I let my muscles relax as I enjoyed the silence, except the sound from the running water. Turning the water off, I grabbed the shampoo and massaged it into my scalp. As I washed out the shampoo and moved on to conditioner. I felt the water slowly turning cold as it continued to hit my skin. I did love long showers.

Drying myself, I threw the big sweatshirt over my head. It reached my mid-thigh. I studied my hair again; I wasn't sure if this white hair suited me. Nevertheless, I would have to learn to live with it. The thought of dying it had crossed my mind, but I decided against it.

Wondering of when Theo might return, I retreated from the bathroom and walked into the living room. I think my jaw dropped to the floor as I entered. The whole area was decorated with Christmas lights and just decorations in general. I didn't fail to notice the small Christmas tree. It was beautiful. I walked closer to the tree and caught the smell, of what always reminded me of Christmas. I stood in awe, how had I been this oblivious, and not hear or see a single thing?

Suddenly, two arms wrapped themselves around my waist, and my body tensed "Why are you so tense?" Theo asked placing a kiss just beneath my ear, and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"You did this?" I still stood in awe of what's in front of me "How?" I heard a deep chuckle in my ear which gave me shivers down my spine. Theo spun me around, and I almost lost my balance in the process.

"First of all, you are a very heavy sleeper. I bet, I could do almost anything, and you wouldn't wake up," He smirked at me, and I blushed a deep shade of red "Second, you also take very long showers, and I must say, Winter Bray, that you look absolutely lovely in my sweatshirt," I must have looked like a tomato at this point, and I looked down in slight embarrassment.

"Is that why you were gone?" I asked in a small voice, playing with my hands.

"Yes, do you like it?" He muttered as he used his thump to lift my head. Suddenly, I felt the air leave my lungs. Theo held his signature stare. His eyes shone as they observed mine, and I could only nod in response "Use your words, Winter." I gulped down the lump in my throat.

"Yes... Yes, I- I like it." I stuttered out my sentence as he continued to observe me. I felt his hand on my lower back, and he pulled me closer if that was even possible. My heart beat faster as the seconds passed. Why did he affect me so much? Shouldn't I be slightly more used to his ways?

"Good." With that, he left toward the couch, and I stood with my mouth open in shock. I was all flustered and frustrated. I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted to kiss him. Why didn't I? Why didn't he? I sighed in frustration as I ran my fingers through my wet hair. I heard a deep chuckle once again, and my head snapped towards Theo "What's the matter? Did you expect something?" He asked with a cocky smirk. That smirk looked so attractive on his perfect chiselled face... 

Nevertheless, I didn't want to give him the satisfaction. He always made me flustered in some way, but this time he would be the one to get flustered. I shrugged my shoulders "No, not at all." I answered, but I took it further, just to make him a little irritated "There's nothing much to expect, really." I saw his eyes darken at my words as he licked his lips. Theo stood up slowly as he made his way over to me again. His eyes never left mine, and I felt my heart beating to its breaking point.

"Really?" He asked in a fake amused tone "It certainly didn't look or sound like it." His hand made its way to my face, and warmth exploded as he touched my skin.

"I'm a good actress. You're easy to fool, Theo Cohen." I replied, trying not to stumble over my words, and he raised a perfect brow at me.

"I thought you enjoyed reading and not acting." He responded as his smirk grew bigger for each word he spoke. I even grew a small smirk myself.

"Maybe, I'm multi-talented," I exclaimed as I stepped back, just as he stepped forward. His eyes darkened once more, and more confidence rose within me "I can do a lot of things..." I whispered innocently.

"Like what?" Theo asked as his eyes pierced into mine. I gasped as I felt the kitchen counter behind me. Had we been walking all this time? Recovering from my gasp, I cleared my throat.

"That's for you to find out, Theo Cohen,"

"Where did you get all this sudden confidence from, Winter Bray?" He asked in a hoarse voice.

"It has always been there." I shrugged again, but my breath suddenly hitched as he leaned closer. I suddenly felt exposed, like he knew every part of me.

"Has it?" He whispered against my ear. I closed my eyes briefly "I don't think so." He continued as he realised I didn't answer. Theo knew by now that he had me. And I did too. There was no denying, I couldn't stop myself from slowly letting my confidence fall.

Oh well. Theo - 1 ~ Winter - 0

"What do you think then?" I breathed and Theo hummed in satisfaction. He bit my earlobe ever so gently, but I felt everything stream through me... Oh, the things you do to me.

"That you are doing this on purpose." He whispered, and now he placed a kiss just underneath my ear. I shivered visibly.

"And why would I do such?" I breathed again in a shaky voice.

"Because I didn't kiss you." I gasped at his words, and I felt embarrassed. Was I that obvious? "Do you want me to kiss you, Winter?" He muttered against my lips. I gulped again, and my breathing stopped for a few seconds. I couldn't process any words. How could a person be this caring, but also this... hot? Theo was a person of pure mysteries.

"Yes," I found myself whispering as my cheeks got crimson. Theo's smirk didn't fail to leave his face.

"Too bad. I'm not going to kiss you." He answered, and I stood flustered, embarrassed and I got taken off guard by his response. I looked down at my hands, not wanting him to see my blushing face "However-" Theo started again "-You could kiss me." Unattractively, I stood with wide eyes, looking at him again. Me? Kiss him? I couldn't. Could I? It took me all my courage to kiss him yesterday. Could I do it again?

"Wha- I-

"Kiss me." He breathed "Kiss me, Winter." I knew, he felt the lust, I felt in that moment. His eyes were clear proof, and so were mine. My heart beat faster as I leaned in. Slowly. I could tell Theo restrained himself, so I stopped right where my lips brushed against his.

"Do you want me to kiss you, Theo?" I used his words. He groaned loudly.

"f**k, you drive me crazy, Winter Bray." Right then and there, our lips met. Hungrily, we fought each other. My hands were found in Theo's soft, dark hair. I tugged it between my fingers and Theo groaned into my mouth. This was beyond any kiss we had ever shared. While kissing like two mad lovers, Theo bent down and grabbed my thighs. I was suddenly lifted up, so I was sitting on the counter. Now I was one of those typical teenagers.

Pulling back, Theo glanced at me briefly. I panted quietly, and my lips were swollen. He then attacked my neck with his lips, and I threw my head back instantly. My breathing got uneven as Theo sucked on my neck. I felt him bite my sensitive skin.

Black suddenly invaded my vision. Something appeared in front of my eyes. Me being pressed up against the kitchen counter. I whimpered, begged the unknown person to stop, but they didn't. I was in pain, on the floor, treated like dirt, and when I thought this vision couldn't get any more haunting... It got worse. It was like I could feel his hand on my thigh as it moved upwards, and then he attacked me, his face turned into a demon. His teeth or fangs inserted themselves into my neck, and ever-so-slowly the vision faded away.

It happened so fast, and I quickly pushed Theo away. My hand to went to touch my neck immediately. I sat with my eyes wide, and Theo glanced at me in concern "Hey, are you okay?" He stepped forward, but I sat stiff as a board. His eyes skimmed my features as his fingers brushed against my cheek.

"I think... I think I had one of those flashbacks," Theo stiffened at my words, and I gulped.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"It was a flashback of the night I got bitten..." I answered quietly, avoiding all kinds of eye contact "He pressed me up against a kitchen counter and-" I shook my head.

"It's okay, Winter," Theo said comfortingly, but I knew how he felt about this situation.

"He touched me..." I gulped "His hand was on my thigh and I think he threw me on the floor as well, but I'm not sure," I swallowed hard, looking at my hands. Theo's hand grasped my own, giving it a squeeze.

"I hate him," He said lowly. Our eyes met, and it surprised me to see how Theo's eyes had darkened with rage.

"I know. I'm not too fond of him either." I responded lightly; I then took a deep breath "Why did you decorate everything?" I changed the subject to try to lighten up the mood.

"You won't be able to see your family on Christmas day." Theo started carefully, I nodded in understanding with a smile.

"I know." A frown appeared on Theo's face.

"How? I haven't told you before now?" He looked at me in suspicion.

"It's pretty self-explanatory," I started knowingly "And to be honest, I don't want to be with my family on Christmas day. I'm afraid if I do, I would end up... killing them," Silence greeted as I spoke my words, and I found myself glancing down at my hands.

"But if you could, would you want to?" Theo asked after a minute of silence. The answer was pretty easy.

"No," Meeting his eyes, Theo looked somewhat relieved "They are away all the time, and when they are home. We don't speak much. My parents sleep most of the time, and even though they worry about me, it's not worth telling them anything,"

"Why?" The curiosity didn't fail to leave Theo's voice as he continued to ask, and I started to grab my wrist unknowingly "They have no idea, have they?" I swallowed the lump which was forming in my throat, I couldn't get words out, so I shook my head slowly.

"It's okay though," I said putting on a fake smile "I love them, and they love me. That's the most important thing in this situation,"

"I can't believe your parents don't know. This is serious, Winter!" Theo said sternly.

"I'm over it, so there's no reason for all your drama!" I argued back loudly. Why did we have to fight like this? How could this escalate so fast into a big argument?

"Drama? Winter, Jesus. I-"

"What should I have told them? Huh? That their perfect little girl got bullied at school so badly, that she had to cut her wrists with freaking razor blades, to feel anything but numbness?!" Theo stopped talking instantly and got a blank expression. I couldn't look him in the eye after my sudden outburst. Tears welled up in my eyes as well as they started to roll down my cheeks.

I could feel the stare from across me, right now, I hated that stare. I shook my head gently. Why did I have to spill everything unintentionally? Without sparing Theo another glance, because of this whole situation, I pushed passed him quickly.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I heard Theo mutter as I passed him, his voice tight with emotion.

"It's in the past, it doesn't matter anymore," I remarked, trying not to sound affected. I was so stupid for crying... again. He had seen me cry too much already. Theo's footsteps filled my ears, and when he was right behind me, he wrapped his arms around me again.

"It does to me," He muttered into my hair as he tightened his grip "I hate, that I know nothing of what you have been through, Winter," He continued as he gently spun me around. He used his thumb to wipe my tears away.

"I hate that, I know nothing of what you have been through either. Or just anything about you in general," I replied in defeat.

"21st of October, 1759," Theo said softly, and I looked at him in confusion, slight curiosity "That's the day I was born" I stared in disbelief.

"But that makes you-"

"260 years old, yes." I stood with my eyes wide and mouth agape. He looked like a normal teenager if I could even call him one.

Subconsciously, I reached to brush my fingers against his face "But you haven't aged." I muttered more to myself than Theo "How is this even possible?" I glanced into his eyes.

"As a vampire you are undead. We are both dead and have died." I just stared at him. I'm dead. Undead. That's why he said, 'undead killing machine'.

"But you said I didn't die that... Dimitri... left enough blood in my system for me to survive," I exclaimed knowingly.

"A bite from a vampire also contains venom. The blood which remained in your system was the reason you came back. You died in your sleep from the venom, but as I said your own blood saved you,"

"But Nadora-"

"Nadora died. When I found her, the bite was decaying which means that Dimitri drank all her blood, and the venom spread further," My mind couldn't form any words, even though I already had been told some of it.

"Oh..." Was all I said in response. Stepping forward Theo caressed my cheek gently, and a small smile appeared on my lips. Somehow, he could always make me smile.

"You still have much to understand and learn," He said looking at me intensively.

Slightly ignoring what he said, I spoke up "Can you promise me something?" I asked quietly, and Theo nodded slowly "That we'll have no secrets. Not anymore."

"If it makes you happy, then yes," Theo responded shortly.

"But, are you-"

"I'm happy as long as you're happy, Winter. Always remember that,"