Broken Fragments

01 | I'm sorry

Taylor:

UNLOCKING MY FRONT door I stepped inside my house and was greeted by the aroma of fried chicken, and I dropped my  bag onto the floor and it landed with a soft thud alerting mom and dad to my arrival, they both came out of the kitchen which was just down the hall, mom had her hands on her hips and her blonde hair was now falling down in soft waves and not tied up in a bun like it had been when I had last saw her and her eyes were still twinkling with traces off sadness as she opened her mouth to say something and my dad was right next to her and had a hand on her lower arm and gave it a squeeze almost as if to remind her not to be too harsh when punishing me

But before my mom could get pissed at me again I walked up to her and wrapped my arms around her middle as if I was a young kid and brought her into a hug, my mom stifffened for a couple of seconds before she sighed and relaxed putting her arms around my back and squeezing a little returning the hug as I mutter in her hair "I'm so sorry" over and over again 

When we broke apart my dad was smiling I knew he hated it when my mother and I fought as my mother and I were always so close when she wasn't having a flashback or nightmare of what my good for nothing only related to him because I have to be grandfather did to my mom when she was my age and as I got older I began to call these flashbacks 'Episodes' due to the fact that during a flashback she can't look at me as to her I look like the ghost of my twin and she just breaks down, 

One that mom had a few days ago was a terrible episode and the worst that we have had in a long time, we were having dinner as a family and my dad dropped a fork which made my mom's back stiffen  and suddenly cry out and for a while she wouldn't stop crying until her pale blue eyes locked with my azul ones and she just went silent, minutes passed but they felt like hours and I didn't know what to do I just kept looking from my dad to my mom and back again it was like a bloody tennis match

Until finally the minutes sped up and felt like seconds

My mother reached across the the table and grabbed me by my collar renching my forward and touching my face as she whispers "Eliza" over and over as if she was in a trance. At this point my heart was pounding in my chest sweat was gathering on the back of my hands and neck because I knew what she thought she thought I was my dead twin sister and I didn't know what she was going to do

Dad was on his feet in seconds and trying to ease mom back into her seat but she wasn't having it so started yelling out and screaming bloody murder as he yanked her gently into her chair and then my mom started sobbing into Dad's arm as she snapped out of the trance 

"I'm so sorry" Mom sobbed choking a little on her tears "the fork it sounded like a gunshot"

"It's okay" I lied with a easy smile, truth was I was scared

Snapping out of the memory I smile at my mother and say "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped at you about your episodes those aren't your fault they're the faults of you r****t and your bastard of a father" 

"No, I should be apoligising Tay I know when I have my flashbacks they're hard on us all and especially you because I mistake you for your dead twin sister"  My mom says her vision clouded by tears now as she pulled me into another hug and squeezing tightly I melt into the hug because right now this is all we need no worries about anything. It was just us. When she pulls back her smile freezes and melts "You're grounded for two weeks got that?"

My dad ever the ice breaker of tension sayys "and I'll say sorry too just to even things out" and with that we all melted into laughs and Dad kisses mom's cheeks and I make a funny face at the gesture making my parents laugh but secretly I loved it because even after everything my  parents have managed to stay together through thick and thin and through plenty of drug relaspes and panic attacks but they always somehow made it through even if I doubted that they would and  because I was born when my mom was around my age my parents were together but weren't married obvioulsy Elliot was always around my mom and me so from a very early age I considered him a dad and he officially became my father when my mom and him got married when I was 5 and they were 22 young I know and hey I was even the flowergirl with my Aunt Lacey being the maid of honour and my Aunt Jessie being one of the bridemaids 

"Okay I love you guys but I got homework to do and Daredevil to catch up on!" I announce before taking the stairs two at a time as I run up them. My mom calling after me

"Okay sweetheart I'll tell you when dinner is ready!" 

I nod although my mom can't see me and enter my room, softly slamming my door as I let out a slow exhale of relief. Growing up with a mom who is not even two decades older than you is hard at times because noone seems to get how I feel, either that or they pretend to have a clue with my situation saying that their parents go through  simallair things but at the end of the day they just wanted connections or to say they've met the 'Mad Philip daughter who was r***d as a teen' so I just stick to myself usually 

I knew Melenie Philips loved me with all her being but I don't know how long I can go before I break.