WHEN I OPEN the door to our room, it is empty. I have already known John won’t sleep in the same room as me, let alone share the same bed with me. His words replay in my head. “When you act like it is scandalous that we had s*x… that you are ashamed we made love for the first time, it’s like a confirmation to me that this is nothing worth being proud for.” My heart constricts inside my ribcage. Have I ever made him feel that way? Is that the reason why he has suddenly acted cold towards me? However, my soft sobs won’t stop reverberating from my voice box.
I need to find him again and talk to him. I will tell him how I feel for him. Will that be enough? Will that make things okay between us? I am frightened, because baring myself open to anyone, especially to him, is too much of a risk for
