So Long, Goodnight

CHAPTER NINE

ZEPHYR'S POV

"She's really persistent in her goal to talk to me. I'm getting pissed." I said as i slump myself on the couch and lay my head down on Nyx's lap. It's been a week and Emery is really persistent in trying to make me talk to her. Everyday at work, she always put a cup of coffee on my desk with a sticky note. I'm still undecided to listen her side regarding the past, but the things she's doing right now makes me feel uncomfortable.

"Maybe it's time you talk to her. You know you can't avoid the past, darling." Nyx said as he gently massaged my temple. I took a deep breath before i give him my answer.

"I know darling."

"Remember what i told you. You have to face her. For your peace of mind. I know you also wanted to know the reason she left because deep inside, you believe that she didn't leave you for nothing." I sigh.

"You really know what to say. That's why i love you." I said. He chuckled and took my hand and gently rubs it.

"I don't want you to worry so much. The more you ignore it, the more stressed you are. You already looked like in your 40's , even though you're just 29." He teased.

"But this oldie is your type." I said then winks at him.

"Don't worry, you always look pretty in my eyes." He said. I couldn't help but to think while staring at him. I'm so thankful that Nyx is here with me. He's the one who kept my sanity when Em left. The moment i realize i was falling in love with him, i was scared because i was never in this kind of realtionship, loving him really is unexpected. He made me feel things that i never felt enough when i was with Em. Nyx is the type of person you would easily fall in love to.

"Okay. I'll talk to her. I can't believe she asked you to help her." I said.

"Same."

"Did she said anything in the reunion that made you upset?" I asked when i remembered the night that they went to that mini reunion of our friends.

"U-uhm, nothing." He answered, avoiding my gaze. I know he is lying again. Nyx is a sensitive person. Whenever he heard something or was told something that relates to him that hurts him, he overhinks. I knew he was trying to overcome his fear throughout our relationship, but i couldn't blame him when people around doubts him or judging him mainly because of his sexuality.

"Okay, then let's sleep now. We have to be early tomorrow." I said. He nods and then lays down properly.

"Goodnight, Zeph."

"Goodnight, darling." I answered back and kissed his forehead as i fell into slumber.

The next day, we woke up early. I prepare the breakfast while Nyx is preparing our clothes. I was in the middle of cooking when my phone rang. I check it and saw Em's name on the screen.

"Hello?"

"Hi. Wanna grab some breakfast? I cook a meal but i think its too much for me to eat alone. Would you like some?" She asked.

"Uh, maybe for lunch. I will have my breakfast at home with Nyx."

"Okay. See you at work."

"See you. I will also have to talk to you."

"About what?" She asked

"About the past." I heard her took a deep breathe before she answers.

"Okay. See you." Then i hung up the call. It's time to know her reason so that i could have a closure on the past. Her leaving me in our anniversary gives me a trauma to the point that i almost lose Nyx.

(FLASHBACK- 1st Anniversary)

It was a saturday evening. Rain pours heavily outside the busy street. I was in a restaurant waiting for Nyx. I don't want to celebrate because im still traumatized when Emery left me during our anniversary, but Nyx wants to celebrate our first year of being together. He wants us to build a memory that i could remember during our anniversaries so i have no choice but to agree. I don't want him to be sad just because of my trauma, that's why im here staring at the glass window passing time as i wait for him.

Time passes by and it's almost 8 pm, he still hasn't arrived so i decided to call him as my anxiety arises, but he wasn't answering which pisses me off.

"Damn it." I mumbled and tried to call him again when a message pop up.

Fr: Darling

Wait for me. I'm on my way. Couldn't pick up the call earlier, im driving. Stucked in traffic.

I rolled my eyes as i saw his message. I don't know if i should believe him or not but i trust him, but i just can't shake this feeling of abandonment. It took him almost 30 minutes when he arrived at the place with a gift.

"Darling, I'm sorry i was late. The rain is too heavy and the traffic was so bad." He explained then kissed me on the cheek.

"Have you order yet?" He asked and was about to call the waiter when i stood up.

"What's wrong?" He asked with worry in his voice.

"What's wrong?! I waited for almost an hour, Nyx."I angrily said as i stood up and walked away. He follows me immediately and when he caught up, he grab my wrist.

"Can we just talk? I told you that i was stuck with traffic. I left the school a bit late because we had to revise our papers." He explained.

"Wait you thought im not showing up?" He asked.

"Who knows? She left me during our anniversary."

"Well, you think i'm just like her? You're unbelievable, Zeph." He looked away as tears starts to form in his eyes.

"I don't know what to do anymore. I'm trying here, Zeph. I'm trying so hard to prove to you that i wanted to stay. For the whole year we've been together, i thought we were making a progress. You were making a progress in conquering the trauma that she left." his tears starts to flow down his cheeks. It hurts me seeing him crying.

"Nyx—"

"I understand your trust issues, Zeph. But this can't go on like this. I want you to love me without being scared that the past will happen again. We couldn't even celebrate our monthsaries properly without you being paranoid."

"And if you can't do that, i guess we should just end things here—" I immediately hugged him, gently rubbing his back to comfort him as he sobbed on my shoulder.

"Don't leave me, Nyx. I—i can't lose you too. I'll try, darling, just stay." I begged as i cry with him. From that moment, i tried to conquer my fears of anniversaries. But what scares me the most is losing the person who helped me to become a better person.

(End of flashback)

"You're bringing your car?" I asked Nyx as he went to his car.

"Yeah, i might be coming home late today. I have things to finish, you know ongoing projects." He explains as he fixed my tie.

"I'm going to talk to her later." I said. He smiled and nods a bit.

"Goodluck" He said and holds my hand.

"I will always be here if you need me, okay?" I smiled and gave him a kiss on his lips then we parted ways. The day pass as usual at work with the same routine: Checking paperworks, upcoming projects, layouts. I was too busy when someone knocked on my office.

"Hey, Zeph. It's lunch time already." Em said as she lightly raised her lunchbox. I look at the time and it was 12:15 pm already. I was too busy at my workloads i haven't even realize it.

"Yeah, okay.Let's go." I said.

"Yeah, there's a lot we have to talk about." She said, implying the talk that we're suppose to have today.

"Yeah. You go ahead first, i'll catch up with you." She nods then she went out. I could feel my hands shaking. This is it. There is no backing out now. I need to know the truth, for closure and for my peace of mind.

"I cooked a tomahawk steak. I remembered your favorite is steak." She said while smiling as she prepares the food in front of me. Seems like she really plans everything just so we could talk.

"You still remember." I said

"Of course, how could i forget? But i'm not a realy good cook so i don't know if you would like it." She said shyly.

"No worries, you know i appreciate the things that you do before. I don't mind." she just smiled then we start to eat. We talked about random things first just to built teh atmosphere so it won't be heavy when the biggest topic comes.

"Let's get straight to our main topic. Why did you left me?" I straightly asked. She drank her water a bit.

"I'll explain."