When I met you...

One day, I met a woman. Simple as that sounds, it was. I didn´t care, didn´t think about it. She just showed up and I went to introduce myself to her. Just because that is what you do, when someone joins your therapy group. I told her my name, she told me hers, not knowing at this time, that we´ll become friends. We were roommates, but on very rare occasions, we actually were in our room. We kept sitting in the common room, watching TV, talking, crocheting, painting, writing... Only when you´re having a mental illness, you´re appreciating others, who are experiencing it themselves. There are no explanations needed, no confessions, cause the other one knows the dark places you´re living at. Nobody ever before gave me the feeling of being loveable, adorable, no matter how dark my depths are. We didn´t talk about the diseases very often, instead we talked about the world, god, faith and TV-series. Although there´s a difference of age between us, we like the same things, appreciate little gestures. After only six weeks of therapy together, my term was over and I prepared to return to home. Not very easy after eleven weeks in a hospital. But I didn´t mind returning to the same old s**t, the only thing I was really sorry about, was leaving her there. I remember the time, the final goodbyes were said. Although, we didn´t talk much, we were both sobbing. I whispered with breaking voice, that I loved her too and then I left. I just walked away and didn´t turn around. I knew, when I would turn back for one last look, I wouldn´t have the strength to leave. So I kept walking and tears were streaming down my face. She gave me a present, but told me not to open it, until I reached home. So I did. I was so busy unloading the car, unpacking, that in the first minutes at home, I totally forgot about the neatly packed package in the car. When I remembered, I went back out to get it. I opened it, standing in my kitchen and again I was sobbing like a toddler, who´s denied his ice cream. She´s an artist, a true artist. And she gave me a picture. My very own, very original masterpiece. A mix of a portrait and zentangle. I´ve never seen anything more beautiful and precious in my life. And I never had gotten a better gift. My first intention was to hide it, so I won´t have to share it with anyone. I hung it behind my bedroom door, where only I can see it. It took me some time, to show it first to my dad and then to my best friend. But none of them showed the same appreciation I had felt. Nobody saw how beautiful and unique it was. I still look at it every day, in the morning, in the evening, every time I go to my bedroom. And it hasn't lost any attraction. Still it is the most beautiful piece of art, I´ve ever seen. I texted her after unpacking it. I wouldn't have been able to call her, cause I was just crying. I promised her, that we´ll meet again. Being around someone, who's so self-confident and strong is addictive. I know, she´s just as sick as I am, but to me, she´s the most adorable human being on this planet. There's no romance going on between us, “just” a friendship. But it is a friendship, I will always cherish. And now matter, how long we won´t see other again, I won´t get tired of telling her to go and fight and encourage her, to do what she can do best: be herself. To me, she´s just beautiful on the in- and outside. Together we tried new things, as was crocheting a scarf for me and doing some amazing zentangle´s for her. I don´t know why, but within a very short time, she sneaked her way into my heart and although she´s older than me, I felt, and still feel, like I´ve to protect her. But I can´t, not when I´m about 200 kilometres away. Deep down in my heart, I know, she doesn´t need more protection than I do, but if it´s ever required, I´ll sacrifice myself for her wellbeing. Over the last two years, I kept offering myself to god (or the devil?). I begged him to take me and get my niece's babygirl healthy again and to give her a happy, healthy life, but nobody ever came to take my soul. And she´s also a person, I would give my life for. Just because she deserves it. It´s simple as that, I got a sister. The sister I always wanted. And I had no idea about it, when I gathered my bravery to get there and say hello to a stranger. That´s the best thing I´ve ever done. Thank you!