Looking For A Lost Memory

Learn and forget

A/N: Jessica - Normal 

Hirosha - Italics 

__________

November 

It's been months since I left home, my Uncle is in the US so that was my first option. It's been a distraction, I haven't thought about her since. To make the forgetting easier, I've surrounded myself with strangers, although I don't even recognise myself anymore and most days I freeze and seem confused about where I am and where I'm going, it's easier.

***

Twigs and chestnut coloured acorns are strewn across the floor, the heavy musk of dry rotting wood trails up my nose and disgust me further as I try to contain my frustration. How can a dog possibly travel so far in just a few moments? On occasions, the striking landscape and the leaves decorating the floor fondly remind me of home, but I push these thoughts aside to find Roger. I glance my watch surprised at the time. It's been what feels like hours droning on. I try to imagine the story I'm supposed to give Mrs Allen, hopefully, with her age, she could believe anything without hesitation. "I was taking care of Roger, who was only with me for a couple minutes ago before the booming traffic sounds of nearby traffic frightened him away. I recklessly had my back to him for a second and when I turned, he was nowhere to be seen."

Roger has lived with Mrs Allen years, he's a part of her that I know she wouldn't be able to function without. It's hard enough for an elderly person to live alone this far into the forest without company. If she ever uncovered the truth, she would struggle to forgive me regardless of our relationship. I first met her during my time in Arabia while she was on vacation with her family. I still remember it clearly. Mrs Allen has taken good care of me ever since I came here despite me being from a different country, not seeing her in a while and speaking a different language, she treated me as if I'm one of her own. Even Uncle Ross had no interjections when I informed him that I wanted to stay with her for a while. 

Continuously, thoughts chase around in my mind which makes me speed up in my search for him, my eyes frantically examine the area. I exhale and kneel down exhausted and groan out loud. I stare up at the clear blue sky without a stroke in the sky. The glare of the winter sun stings my eyes, the cool air is chilling against my skin. I stand up and continue to search for the annoying dog.

I trample on some more broken branches and into the woodland when suddenly I hear the distinct echo of barking in the distance fill my ears. I stop and stare while twisting my head trying to identify the direction the sounds are coming from. Instantly I see Roger bolting up to me like a train at full speed, he bounces up and down and slows when he comes closer.

To my surprise, a petite girl, no older than 10 years of age, follows along with a troubled expression fixed on her face and constantly scans the area. I kneel down to embrace Roger as he jumps up and settles into my arms. I bury my face into his fur and relax in relief. I glance upwards to the small girl in front of me. She has brown, unkempt hair with a scarf wrapped around her neck multiple times, a hat too big in size covering her eyes which she had to pull up, with bright red winter boots. I sense that she's reluctant to speak so I speak up.

"Aren't you a little young to be out here on your own?"

She stays silent and starts to look around distractedly. Her eyes fill up with tears but her feet stay rooted to the ground.

"Um... I-I was with my parents. Then I got lost." She mumbles.

"What? Speak up." I move closer but at the same time, she backs away.

"I'm not going to hurt you" I scoff.

"I got lost, then I saw your dog." She says staring at the ground.

I scoff in annoyance and stand up.

"Right, come on. I'll help you find them." I sigh.

I begin to debate with myself but she looks like she's seconds away from breaking into tears and I have no time or the strength to deal with a crying child. As we walk on I begin to remember all the other things I had left to do before I came into contact with the girl. Roger starts fidgeting and trying to break free from my grasp. I scold him in irritation and try to reassure her.

"What's your name?"

"Emily."

"Hmm. I met an Emily once. When was the last time you were with your parents?"

"I don't know, I can't remember."

"Perfect." I whisper, "What are you doing all the way out of here on your own, it's dangerous you know?"

"I know. I miss my parents."

"Where were they last?" I ask.

"The park nearby. I was with them for a second and then they disappeared." Her voice grows smaller at the end of the sentence. I immediately know the park she's talking about, the park covers about 5km of this area, my eyes flicker around knowing that finding her parents today is going to be near impossible.

"It's okay, we will find them."

Roger pulls on my sleeve in one sudden movement, I try to pull him off and in the process, I feel a bracelet loosen from my wrist. He finally calms down, but my wrists feel uncomfortable empty. My eyes dart around and my head twists in panic, my hands bury under the leaves, I throw them around carelessly.

"Where is it?" I hiss.

"What are you looking for?" I hear an annoying voice say. I clench my jaw to stop myself from shouting.

"It's something important."

"How important?"

"It just is."

"Why?"

"Just. Just, stay quiet. Please."

"Up there." She motions above me my eyes follow and dart upwards immediately. At the end of a branch, I see a chain-like object dangling, blending in the dull brown colours. The tree stretches high above me, empty without the leaves shielding the branches. I try to suppress my anger and start to regret offering to help Emily.

"How did...?"

"You don't have to go up there."

"No. It's okay, I have to. Wait here, don't move." I cut her off sharply and begin climbing the tree.

The bark feels rough and irritating along my skin, the complex patterns on the tree make it easier for me to dig my hands into the multiple notches and gaps that my feet fit inside of them. Below me, I begin to hear the rising cheer of the girl as she sees I'm getting closer to retrieving the bracelet. But Roger begins to bark furiously.

"It's okay, I won't fall," I shout but he continues. As I get to the middle of the tree where the branches begin and spread out, I reposition my feet to test the strength of the branch.

"It's just a bracelet, are you sure it's important?" Emily asks.

"Yeah, yes. I'm sure." I reply hurriedly, "I'm almost there."

It's only now I realise my height as I'm surrounded by a flood of branches reaching and twisting into the sky. I reach across when I hear snapping, crunching and the gentle groaning of branches start to increase. My hands and arms bruise as I travel all along, the haunting tint of crimson staring back at me. I continue reaching further in anticipation to retrieve the bracelet.

Suddenly, I hear a shout, I'm not able to react quick enough when my foot falters and I lose my footing. I feel my heart drop, my stomach sink, and my entire body freeze like ice. The air around me travels at an immense speed when instantly I meet the cold, hard, cold, ground. Harsh, sharp noises surround me and fade out in volume. I try to force my eyes open, my eyelids waver, my vision loses focus until everything I see is dark.

JESSICA 

The cooling, smoke of condensation paints the windows and cools my forehead. My head rests lazily on the side, and my eyes feel intensely heavy but I try to force myself awake. I stare out of the misted window at the autumn foliage and leaves that decorate the roads. I glance at my watch impatiently deeply wishing the time could go by faster. The engine of the bus lulls and the minimal chatter of the other passengers are mumbling with nobody daring to cut the silence with a knife.

School trips being offered to my school so close to graduation is a rare occasion, therefore it was even more difficult to reject the invitation. With all the busy and packed schedules of school exams, I never had the chance to put some time aside until now. By now I would have arrived at home if I had accepted the offer to take school transport home. The more I think about it the more I begin to feel stupid. My mother wasn't open to the idea and still isn't, but she's going to have to let me go one day. I'm already 18, yet I still feel caged like a bird waiting for release.

Janet would be furious if she ever found I made my way back home from Canada. Although we've been friends for years, I know she's never trusted me with looking after myself. I remember her mentioning I needed to get off the bus to take the connecting bus to New York. I glare outside and suddenly get up to leave, I mumble a thank you to the driver and watch the bus disappear into the distance. I shudder at the cold breeze and the chilling atmosphere. Ahead of me, the washed out colours of the leaves lay on the ground, the rare warmth of the winter sun hides between the weak branches of trees. The strong scent of burnt wood lingers in the air. The forest is deserted and has a calm atmosphere.

The sound barking fills my ears and a child passes me, running towards the sounds. Instinctively I follow her, I quickly dashed through the trees and made my way under the crunching leaves and moss under my feet. I see a person hanging inside the tree, he glares up with a surprised expression struck on his face, and within seconds falls from the loose branch, hits the floor and lays motionless on the ground groaning subtly. My hands naturally came up to my mouth. A gunshot of panic passes through me, I stand paralysed, the echo of the haunting 'thud' ring in my ears. A stroke of sweat clings to my forehead and my hands begin to tremble. Dismissing my shock I run to his body immediately and go to the ground. The dog circles around him, whining silently, his barking ominously silenced. I look up and frantically look around the landscape for anyone in sight, afraid of the worst.

He was still breathing but other than the blood the first thing I notice is his face. My voice trailed off while I murmured to myself, thankfully his eyes were opening. Suddenly he snatched my wrist and twisted it hard. His other hand shifted and to grasp the middle of his chest.

Not my heart. No way, not now. I tried to focus on my surroundings but blotches appeared and blocked my vision. My head rang with heavy pain while my hands shook uncontrollably.

I see her first. Her face clears as she moves closer. I'm tempted to look away, either at my near-miss with death or her eyes. Girls are not my weakness, but still, I couldn't look away. It was like looking at her stung with a sweet reminder of what I used to feel. She had cool warm skin despite how cold the sun was against her skin, the crimson leaves reflecting around us made her skin glow. Her eyes were filled with worry.

His face is stained with blood, he has full black and shiny hair that is rough and wild, dark eyes full of mystery, full lashes, and a well-structured face. Red bruises and scratches cover his face. He has a scar by his neck that is pronounced. It looks fairly recent, not from the fall, but it looked painful.

I remain calm and I don't take my eyes from his for a second. Once the emergency services arrive I don't hesitate to follow him.

As I was trying to arrange my thoughts one of the paramedics looked at me expectantly as they were about to shut the door.

"Do you have any relation to him?"

I haven't even planned anything out, I remind myself not to say anything wrong. Like a slap back to reality I notice he is still glaring at me, eyes demanding an answer. I begin to stutter before I answer.

"He's a close friend of mine."

Before I have time to argue, he opens the door for me to enter. I step inside and slam the ambulance door