A Work Affair

I'm now laying in bed at 2am in the morning wondering what is wrong with me? I love my fiancé! He does so much for me, we've recently opened a joint bank account, we looking for a house together and are due to start trying for a baby in 2 months time! What am I doing awake with my vibrator in my hand thinking of Justin? I'm going to just spend this paragraph trying to excuse myself for last summers behaviour although we both know it was wrong, so just bare with me. Last summer was beyond sh*t. There's a virus going round which means I'm the only 1 in the office where there are normally 4, my fiancé is working from home (in all honesty not coping very well) and I've been lonely. Being the only one in here means I'm doing nearly 8 hour days without having human contact for more than 30 minutes a day is hard. I'd call Paul (my fiancé) anything between 1 to 4 times a day just for some sort of conversation, of which during this conversation he'd be staring at a screen barely listening to what I was saying. I know he wasn't happy, but neither was I. I like the fact that my usual job role was varied, I'd able to go out and about in site for half the time I was in usually which meant talking to lots of different people but being stuck in the office means I see a couple of the maintenance team who would come into the warehouse to get tools and parts but that was it. It was like I was chained to a desk to order parts (my boss's job really), man the building for deliveries and then do general paperwork. I was bored most of the time. The only consistency was Justin. Justin was a tall ish man, I'd guess 6ft. Greying hair which was often unruly. Clean shaven. Fit for his age really. I mean there is no six pack but he's of medium build. I could understand why older women would find him attractive, but he was at least double my age. I would more think about trying to set him up with my mum than me, infact I think I did once which I'm sure is how I found out he was married. But I liked him, we had a laugh and joke when he came to sign in in the mornings. It was nice to see someone to talk to. He gave me his number months before all this started when my boss was off on holiday and he was getting a delivery so I could let him know when it had arrived. Until that day we had only ever messaged about work. But that day was weird. He'd started texting me about a delivery but said I looked nice, he'd never done that before. Then he asked if he could tell me a secret so I egged him on. After convincing him he could trust me with anything he told me he fancied me. In shock I batted the comment off. Said he must be joking. But he persisted. He couldn't fancy me! For a start he's married! Then there's Bella, she's the other girl in the team of people I work with, she's much prettier than me! She flirts with everyone which is more than fine because I can't flirt to save my life. She's about the same age as me why didn't he fancy her? He insisted it was me! I've got sandy blonde hair, overweight (my fiancé calls it curvy and would moan at me for saying I'm overweight) about 5ft 9inches. I wear quite a bit of make up but that's the girliest effort I make, my hair is often tied up in a ponytail or bun for work, I wear work sweatshirt that is 2 sizes to big so it's baggy and jogging bottoms (before all this office work my job was half Labour intensive) and steel toe cap trainers. That's all he'd seen me in. Maybe knee shorts in the summer but I don't like my legs so not unless the heat is unbearable. There was no reason for him to find me attractive. When I asked him why he didn't really have a reason. He admitted he was embarrassed and shouldn't have said anything on numerous occasions but I forced it out of him. I was the one that since he told me started fishing for compliments. When the compliments came it built my confidence. I promised to keep his secret but nothing would come of it because I love Paul. But one day he sent me a message that I couldn't unread. Telling me that he had fancied me from the first time he had seen me. That all he wanted to do was have his way with me one time to satisfy his curiosity. I turned him down. I was adamant that because we are sure my dad cheated on my mum which broke me and my mum I would never ever cheat! And yet there I was staring at the dots on my phone screen waiting to see what he would type next. There were following messages about how he wanted to suck on my n*****s and slip his fingers inside me to make me c*m. I didn't know what to do, I should have shut it down but I found myself panting and crossing my legs. It was hot! When I didn't respond he sent a huge apology message saying he didn't want me to feel uncomfortable. But that was the problem, I wasn't. I contemplated what to do for a few minutes. I haven't got that worked up over a naughty test for so long. Me and Paul have lived together for 3 and a bit years now, we didn't do that anymore! I thought maybe he was having a rough patch with his wife. I went the bathroom whilst waiting for a reply. My hand had gone clammy my cheeks were burning. I was wet! I was aroused by his messages. I went back to reply but things with his wife were fine, he had no intention of leaving her. He just fancied me and couldn't help himself. They've been married for over 30 years and things were very bland now. I started to give him some advice to spice up the relationship but I think they just turned us both on more. I was trying to do the right thing. I told him to bring toys into the bedroom, that I personally enjoy dressing up, how I like to be chocked a little and restraint. Told him how I introduced Paul to it so he wasn't scared. I look back now, I shouldn't have told him that, I don't think he had any intention of introducing him wife to new things in the bedroom. From what he told me thier s*x is very boring, once or twice over the course of a couple of weeks and the occasional blowjob. I was trying to help him to start with, trying to give him advice with s*x with his wife. Before Paul I hadn't really been in much of a serious relationship. Every guy I'd ever been with wouldn't commit and was basically sh*gging someone else. But he was really curious when I let slip I been with girls. I got the usual: "Really?" then the "what's it like?" I answered honestly. It was fun. Relationship wise I prefer men because I know I can have my traditional family and children and they are much less needy. But it's much more fun to make a woman c*m than a man. Being a woman I know when to build to and stop, I know the pressures better, where to go and where they may be conscious of. But f*ck what an experience. Writhing bodies, the arching of her back as she gets close, the holding off so she doesn't just so when I've held if off so many times when she does go it's much more sensitive and pleasurable. But I couldn't be a full time lesbian, I hate giving and receiving oral. I've gone off topic. He liked the idea of me being with a woman I think. I didn't mean for it to come out as a turn on. I was trying to get him to understand that I know what most women like so if he knew more little tricks he might get out of the more boring s*x with his Mrs. But all it did was turn us both on. He continued to tell me things that he wanted to do to me and he was good at it. I was often sat cross legged at the desk to stop myself from getting any wetter than I already was. When I taught him more about the handcuffs and lingerie he became more descriptive in his messages. I was officially cheating. I was part taking in the s****l texting even though I had repeatedly said nothing more than messages would ever happen.