When I Find You

Chapter 16: The Wait

    Ava.

    It had been a year since I saw last saw Julian. I had been in heat and each time Andrea had to put me to sleep to pretend I was “sick”. Her father came in each time and put me on bed rest; telling the queen I had the flu again and again. I was sent to hospital after hospital because she feared there may be something wrong with my immune system, but truth be told, my wolf was telling me to make pups with my mate. 

    My mate, with the most extravagant purple eyes I have ever seen. The heat wasn’t excruciating anymore, but I can’t imagine how Julian must feel. Maybe I will see him tonight. It is the annual masquerade ball after all. I’m hoping Andrea can do her magic to let him in again. Maybe he can kidnap me for 48 hours again, I internally smiled. 

    Life away from Julian was normal, but I’ve been investigating the queen and why the books don’t say she conquered my home, or the obvious, why she rescued me. My memories may have returned to me when I mated with Julian, but it was just a cause for more questions I needed answers to. Unfortunately, my resources were limited due to the fact that all of I.I. were loyal to the queen and not me or my family. My mother spoke to me in my dreams a year ago, but she never gave me answers. She just told me someone was coming for me and I felt as though I have been watching over my shoulder since; waiting for the day that some evil spirt dare come to me. I was small and I knew that, but I was strong and fierce and I knew that too. 

    Maybe I would ask for a vacation. I’ve never done that, but somewhere far away and hopefully close to Julian would help me. I know that may never happen, so I decided to get up and begin my day with coffee in the library, much different than last year when my whole world was turned upside down. I stood in front of the mirror looking over my body, tracing the place he bit twelve months ago. I was sad and I missed my mate. Who wouldn’t? 

    I opened my door to head to the library and read more in depth on what it says about my family. I needed more information, something close to evidence that would point me in the right direction. I had a year and I’ve come up with barely anything, which makes me feel the opposite of good. I was greeted by all the hurrying staff who were trying to make tonight’s ball perfect as they usually do. I turned a corner and I ran in to an unfamiliar face. He dropped everything in his hands and I bent over to help him retrieve it, but all that was left was a book and a few loose papers. I’m headed to the library anyways, so I picked it up and walked into the massive library.

    The ceilings raised high to a beautiful dome complimented by glass to overlook the sky. It was easy to get lost in here because it felt like a dream, but it couldn’t compete with Julian’s airy palace. This place was black and gold not light and airy. Either way I knew I’d be safe in here for a while. I sat down and opened my laptop. Hoping the internet would answer any questions I read in any of the books. I felt as if I wasn’t going to get far and I was probably right, but I had to try. Unknowingly, I still had the book in my hand the stranger dropped. 

    The cover read, ‘The Bells That Never Ring’. The title was intriguing so I opened it up to find a loose page at the entrance; waiting for me to read it. 

    “She was never meant to be mine. I lived in a castle and she lived in a pack house. I was meant to be queen and she was meant to be Luna, but I loved her. I loved her like the stars loved the sky and I knew I always would, but she chose her former life and in her former life came 'him'. I wanted to unleash the beast to ensure she would remember that I am not to be forgotten; that I am the one she almost had. I wanted revenge, and I knew I would not rest until she pays for the damage she has caused on my heart. She was never meant to be mine, but she will never be another's. Not for long anyways."

    When I finished reading, I had chills running down my spine and goosebumps forming on my arms. This may be a step in the right direction and whomever dropped this book needs a thanks. Could the soon to be queen in this story be the one I have been living with for 15 years? Could the Luna be my mother? Could the queen have taken me in because I look like my mother and she did not have the heart to kill me?  Of course, the internet couldn't answers these question just as I suspected, but maybe it had Queen Vivian's history with my mother somewhere on there. 

    I opened a browser on my laptop and began my search. It took about an hour before I stumbled on an article about 2 young girls in love; one of which looked identical to my mother. Is this the proof I had been looking for all this time? The history books don't state the night of the fire as a victory for the Queen, but instead writes about the loss of my family as any other death. I knew I had suspicions about why, but I had little idea that this would be the reason. She didn't want her revenge to be publicly announced, so she strategically presented the night of the fire to be a sad, but a rather normal event. 

    I couldn't believe what I was reading on the article, and I would love to get into contact with who wrote it, but it says anonymous. Did my mother marry my father because he was her mate? Or did she marry him as duty to her people since she was soon to become Luna. I had so many questions and I wished Michael was here to answer them. Would he even know, though? 

    This may explain the cause of the fire that destroyed my family, but what is the reason for rescuing me? Were the intentions good or bad? My mind was circling and I felt more stagnant now than when I had no answers. I needed to find the author to this article or to this book. I opened to the last page and discovered there was a signature. Frank Mattoy? No. Frank Matty? No. Oh! Francis! Francis Malloy. The small victory from figuring out the author's name was the motivation I needed to complete this investigation. 

    I put the book on the rack, but grabbed the loose page I read. I went to find Andrea or her father to get answers on who this mystery author might be. I was hoping they may know. I walked down the lengthy hallway to discover Andrea running my way. 

    "Ava, you have to come now!" She yelled.

    "Have to come where? What's going on? I asked in confusion.

    She didn't answer my question before grabbing me by the wrist and pulling me hard with her. I was nearly running to keep up with her. The doors were zooming by us as she rushed to show me whatever it was that was so urgent she needed to pull me…no drag me just to show me. My heart was racing and not just because of the speedy walk. Truth be told I was in fear of whatever it may be. Andrea doesn’t usually do this, so when she does, it’s for good reason.  The last time she was this impatient was 4 years ago; when we learned of The Revolters and the destruction they have caused among many people in the near lands. It was all over the news. I.I. went into panic mode and we were forced to find as much information on them as possible. Unfortunately, the case went to a dead end so it’s still opened. The culprits haven’t been caught and I still think about them to this day. What were their motives? Why was this destruction so necessary? Were they spiteful people or were they trying to get revenge on the queen? I didn’t have the answers, but if it was for revenge, then how can I not relate? 

    Andrea pulled me all this way just to get to my bedroom door. I know the ball begins in less than an hour, but I also know I have time to get ready. Andrea was ready, however. Her hair was half-up-half-down, and loosely curled. Her dress was blue and her makeup was simple, but elegant. She opened the door and it was then that I understood the urgency. My jaw dropped to the floor. There he stood, in a suit, ready for the masquerade ball, waiting for my undivided attention. There was something different in his eyes than usual, though. It was like his walls were coming down for the first time in a long time. 

    “Tristin.” I spoke, but my eyes were in Andrea’s direction the whole time. 

    “Ava, I know, but I need you to sit and listen to me for a second.” He spoke. His cold presence was not as bold as it usually was and there was sincerity in his voice. I think at least given that his voice is normally monotone and dismissive. 

    “Andrea, explain it now.” I scornfully looked at her; making it very obvious I was not happy and I needed answers. 

    Andrea closed the door and pulled me to sit on the bench near the edge of my bed. If she didn’t spill soon, I was going to be pissed off and no one would get to enjoy this Masquerade Ball. She pulled my hand into her hands and I threatened to pull away, but she tightened her grip. “Ava, be patient with me. Tristin spoke with me two days ago, about The Enchanted Warriors pack. He told me he made an alliance a very long time ago with your parents and The Greymoon Pack. I didn’t believe him at first. I thought he was trying to get me to confess to information that may get me killed. I told him the only was I was ever going to believe him was if I drained him to near death and put a confession spell on him. So for the last forty-eight hours I have been depleting him and basically torturing this man, just to believe him. I think he’s telling the truth and he may have answers you need from him. To get you back to your mate.”

    “I played a part Ava, I know. I wanted you to think I was soulless and demonic. I needed the queen to believe my loyalty, but also that I had no emotions. I’m sorry it has taken me so long to confess the truth. To prove I mean you no harm, I’m going to do you a favor and I need you to go along with it.”

    What in the goodness gracious just happened? I was pacing back and forth in the room, something I tend to do often when I need to process information. I overheard Andrea telling Tristian why I’m pacing, but I wasn’t listening. I was trying to focus on the information they both just dropped on my shoulders and how I can make the weight a little lighter. I have had a lot of information thrown at me today and although I cannot confirm what I read in the library was accurate or even true, I was willing to put my eggs all in one basket and bet on it. Now, I’m being told the one person I hated in this entire castle is now my friend and the Queen, my enemy. 

    “What favor must I go along with? I asked.

    Tristin smiled, as if there was victory in me asking a simple question. “Get dressed and meet me downstairs. I hope you’re good at acting, because you’re going to need to do it flawlessly during this ball.” When he finished speaking, he quickly left, not leaving any room for question. Once again, I am left with questions unanswered and I was growing angry. I missed my mate. I missed my family. The only way I could return home is if I find these answers. This time, I was growing impatient. 

    “Andrea?” My eyes were looking down to avoid her and whatever twisted game she may be in on. I feel like giving up, but Julian deserves better than that. The loneliness was stronger now than it had ever been before.

    “Get dress love, meet me downstairs and I promise. It will be worth the wait.” Was all she said before she exited the room. 

    ‘Get dressed.’ ‘Meet me downstairs.’ ‘You’ll get your answers.’ ‘It’s worth the wait.’ I mocked in my head. I was hoping it would make myself smile, but I just wanted to crawl in bed and never wake up. 

    I got ready to pass the time, but I truly wasn’t too curious about what was so urgent and why I needed to come downstairs. I just missed Julian; his touch, his purple eyes, his kiss, and his smile. It had been one year since I had seen my mate and I feel like I failed him. I looked up to the ceiling to talk to The Ancestors. “I know you are wise, but please. I am hanging on by a thin thread and I just feel so weak and tired. I want to be worthy of you. I do, but I want to be worthy of my mate and I know I am not.”

    I sighed as I sat down on the bed and put my head in my hands. I looked out the large windows in my bedroom. My mind made the dark forest move, playing tricks on me. It was almost time for the ball to begin. I was ready, I just needed to put my shoes on. Apart of me was excited for the ball tonight. It would be a good distraction and I could use a stiff drink or ten right about now. 

    A knock on the door caused me to come out of my thoughts. 

    “Come in.” I spoke.

    “Oh dear, you are ready. Why have you not come downstairs yet?” Queen Vivian asked. It was really hard for me to pretend everything was okay. It’s been nice having the “flu” because she has mostly kept her distance. Honestly, I was extremely conflicted on how to feel. Apart of me respected her because she took me in to raise me when she could have killed me. The other part of me naturally wants her to feel the same pain my family did when she set fire to our home. I was genuinely confused, but the entire last year of my life has been so confusing. 

    “I’m just not feeling good. I’ll come down in a moment. Just want to rest up as much energy as I can, if that’s okay.” I told her.

    “Of course that’s okay. We will all be downstairs when your ready. Ava, I love you. If you don’t want to come down then don’t okay?” She gently spoke. Her words were kind, why would she mean harm. What if I just ask her? What if I just confess everything to her? She’s definitely the one person to have all the answers, but I wouldn’t be safe. She could lash out and kill me right here. 

    “Thank you.” Was all I said before she turned to walk out of the room. 

    I gathered all my strength and headed towards the door. I put my hand on the door handle, but it turned before I had a chance to turn it.