Entwined Faiths

Tessa pov My hands trembled while holding the divorce papers, still sitting on the same bed where Elvis has made love to me just now with detachment that screamed how much i disgust him “wha.. what is this for Elvis “ I asked so scared to convince myself that it is what i am seeing “the last time i checked, you can read” he said seemingly undisturbed about whatever i am feeling while bulking up his belt “she is back” I knew it all along, the woman he has been waiting for, let's say this is karma coming back at me for satisfying my selfish desire. As much as I still want him back, I have to accept the reality that he wants someone else. “she is back” i heard him say “Elvis is it just about her all this while, what about me” i asked him with disbelief all over my face “don't try to act emotional with me, sign that you are leaving tonight” he replied nonchalantly, obviously not caring about whatever I am about to say. “she married another man, without thinking twice and you still think she is the best, Elvis it's been two years, two f*****g years and you are choosing her over me?”. i asked now feeling overly hurt and rejected “oohh, says a woman who jumped into marriage for financial gain, and you still have the nerve to stand before me and degrade another woman, huh?”. Those words hit my ego so hard that I could no longer defend myself. I stood there speechless and tired. where did it go all wrong, i have been a faithful housewife who have done nothing but sit at home and wait for my husband to come back drunk, have s*x with me while muttering another woman's name. I guess i was lucky to marry the man of my dreams but very unlucky not be loved or cherished by him. our marriage was arranged by my father for his company's gain, while my so called husband accepted just to get better, generate more wealth to prove to his ex that he is capable. now she is back, i anticipated this day but it came too soon, sooner than i thought. i still can't help but judge my younger and naive self for being so dumb and naive, i taught marrying my crush was all it takes, i can come into his life and make him love me automatically, but it's obvious i have no chance now i am faced with a divorce papers to sign and not my husband's love and affection i have always prayed and wished for “Elvis we can make this work, give us a chance” i said trying to convince myself, because this words will definitely make things worse instead of convincing him. i tried getting close to him, knowing fully well that it's a bad idea. stretching my hands to touch him, but got the biggest shock of my life instead he pushed me so hard that i hit my back on the wall, the pain radiated all over my body reminding me that i was just pushed. I could no longer feel my legs and slide down, now sitting on the floor, looking at the man that has done nothing but love unconditionally. sign that, pack your stuff, get dressed and live, i won't repeat it again. “i know you love money so much, of course i'm going to compensate you with 20 million dollars and a house here in New York. you can't spend 2 years of your life for nothing” he added. he said it so freely as if he was speaking to a w***e, ‘Elvis i am your wife’ I can't help but scream so loud in my mind. ‘bangggg’ he left banging the door so hard showing how angry he is. I couldn't control the tears any longer. I want to be strong but I guess it's too much emotion, I can't hold it in any longer. just as i was battling with controlling my tears and crying out. knock!! knock!! in as much as the house helps knows i am not loved by my husband, they can't see me crying in the corner. i stood up, and sat down on the bed “come in” i said still trying to tidy up myself “good morning ma'am, young master sent me to help you pack” she said while facing downward “uhmmm, you don't have to help me pack, i can sort that myself, i will be downstairs soon” i suggested, i guess i just need an alone time. “sorry ma, but i have to do as he says, where should I start from”. ‘oohh, having an alone time, brutally rejected’ seeing that it's useless refusing her help. come with me i directed her into the closet, directed her on the ones to pack as funny as it sounds, i don't have any brand new clothes, i don't go out either, i have never attended any ball or party with my husband. I just realized I have never really valued or taken care of myself properly,done nothing but worshipped a man who can't wait to get rid of me, prioritized marriage over myself, yet got nothing but a divorce papers. I believed that my father just wanted me to be happy by marrying me off to Elvis, but Elvis keeps on reminding me in every argument that I jumped into marriage for money, which has done nothing but hunt me. Being criticized by the man I am trying to appease has always haunted me. now he wants to pay me off, i don't mean anything to him, all the baseless and painful s*x, coming back drunk while banging me with another woman on his mind, then avoid me like a plague the next day 20 million is going to appease that? I have always hoped we would work out, but it's obvious we never will. Now sitting on the bed, thinking about my life and all I had to go through just for Elvis. my stomach started churning, the urge to vomit so hard that i had to drink a glass of water on the bedside table to subside. but it made it worse instead, i rushed inside the bathroom, vomiting so hard that i could barely stand straight. i heard the door c***k gently. i guess the house help in the closet heard me vomiting my guts out and decided to reach out ‘Ma, you are pregnant?’