A Broken Voice

POV | Amari Tap. tap. . . ‘Why are you so slow in everything!' I snarled out. ‘What is your problem!' He snarled back. Tap... ‘Oh please like you don't know..?' I scowled, rolling my eyes to look at the car window. Suddenly the squealing of the tire's of the car stops and that is when the loud growls with grumbling outside of the car is heard. ‘Now why have you stopped the car! Alex!' I scream, turning to look at him, and he was staring right at me with so much anger in his eyes. ‘You know what Amari?' he chuckled, before letting out a long breathless sigh. ‘What Alex!' I replied back with the same expression, even though I was terrified by the way he laughed. The atmosphere changed quickly when Alex sighed and smiled at the same time. It was like the torrential downpour outside calmed down with him. It was only pouring out at the time, by the airport before leaving but it got stronger along the way. ‘What is it?... If y-you are just p-pl-playing with m-me... stop.' I strutted, I couldn't pronounce my sentence properly, he has never been like this. ‘I — ... ... I slowly opened my eyes to be met by the darkness around me. That is the only thing I see, nothing else but the dark room I am in with no way out. “What is that noise?" I try to say out loud, but all that comes out is nothing but my breath only my breath. The noise I heard was only my rapid heart, beating louder than my own voice. Still laying on my bed, looking up at the ceiling, I notice how my bedroom ceiling is covered with stars. Stars are bright and shinny when night time approaches but when day time approaches the fade away intently, just like how my life faded away intently like the stars during the raising Sun. “Amari... Amari..!" Someone is calling out to me. I turn my head and see a dark figure standing by the door, but not long before the dark figure starts walking inside my bedroom to find the light switch by the right corner of my bedroom and the light causes my eyes to shut close immediately. “Amari you have to get out of bed soon before dinner time, little sister!" Andrew says this with so much worry, like an overly-aged man nearing his hundreds. I open my eyes again and see Andrew looking straight at me. His eyes only show the same emotion everyone shows towards me and that is disquiet. That is the only feeling I get from everyone who looks at me, even stranger give me that look dispite not knowing me. “Hi... Amari look at me, please!" Andrew calls my attention, “Where is your Phone?” He says. I turn around to the left side and stretch out my arm underneath the pillow and pull my phone out from there. My phone has this app device called my voice which helps with communication. “Sorry for worrying you so much." I text the sentence on my phone, and the app translation is put out loud. “Come on little sister, you can never worry me.” He replied Even though everyone says that I am not causing any worries, they emotions around people cannot be hidden especially my family it is so clear to see the worries and pain they have for me. Immediately after the incident two years ago, on my eighteenth birthday, I was given a replacement phone which had come with an app for communication, why? you see two years ago I lost my voice and now I use my phone to text my thoughts to the world. “I will be waiting downstairs, so hurry down for dinner!” He ordered “I will be there for dinner, no need to command me!” I text the sentence and it's voice out. After convincing my elder brother twice, of my coming for dinner he finally left. And now I was alone in my room trying to figure out whether or not to come down for dinner. Dinner time is the only time my family actually sees me smiling, even though I cannot directly communicate with them like the old days they can see through my pretence and the questions come running in. I remain on my bed with my thoughts but then decide to get off my bed and walk to the full body length mirror by the right end of my bedroom close to my wardrobe. “Oh wow, this is me, huh." I sighed to that text I wrote down. I studied myself in the mirror. Medium black hair with an undeniable tint of brown, brown skin, weird amber eyes that seemed to suit my personality, short in height and an okay figure. At eighteen years of age and almost nineteen in three months time, I guessed I would be ugly – not slightly pretty, for someone with no voice out of her. weird right, but it cannot be helped because my eyes show how much pain is carried inside me. Freshing up quickly and leaving my room to head down for dinner, I hear sounds for downstairs in the kitchen. So I walk on my tiptoes to eavesdrop on the conversation going on. “Is she coming?” ... That voice belongs to my mother. She has the most delicate, soft voice and it is so comforting just to listen to all day long. “Yes mom, she will come." ... And that is Andrew's voice. My family has always seen me as a baby learning about the world that has just been brought in it for the first time. They tend to forget that I am going to start college next year. “She worries me a lot, since the incident." Mom says as she moves from the sink to the fridge to get something but stops all of a sudden to let out a silent but painful sob. “Mom!" Andrew calls out before rushing by mom's side, holding her as she cries onto his shoulder. “Why did it have to happen to my sunshine! why! tell me why!” Mom murmured after she cried onto Andrew's shoulder. I felt really bad seeing my own mother silently crying out her feelings for me. If I could turn back time to that day I would to end the gloomy cloud havering in the house. I was still in thoughts that I forgot I was eavesdropping. “Sunshine what are you doing on the staircase?" And that deep muscular voice belongs to none other than my Dad. “I thought you would never come out from that dark room of yours little sister." Andrew comes in the conversation, helping me to ignore Dad's question. “Oh sunshine, go in the dining room and wait till you taste mommy's cooking." Mom says as soon as she wipes her tears but her eyes are still red from all the sobbing earlier. I just do all of us a favor and walk right pass them to the dinning room and take my usual sit, which is right next to my mother. I hear footsteps coming in the dining room. “Little sis, have you decided on which college to attend?" Andrew says after taking a sit apposite me I pull out my phone and type in what I what to say. “Well of course Andy." I reply, Andy is the nickname I got used to calling my brother when I first learnt his name. “That is great little sis, but are you sure you want to enroll into art and design?" he says looking at me for some reaction. “Please stop calling me little and for your concern I find art fascinating so yes I am sure about my choice!" I shout. “Oh right, no need to shout sis and you will always be little to me." he pouts. I smile at how silly my brother has become even at his age, Twenty-three isn't a boyish age but to Andrew it is. After seeing my smile he smiles back at the same moment our parents come in with the food and we all eat our meal with smiles on our faces. But there is one person missing in our small family and that is my twin brother Alex. “I got a call from Alex informing about his absence for dinner today." Dad says this as he looks at me and so does everyone. “Again! why does he cancel dinner time as a family Everytime." Mom says as she let's out an exhausting sigh. “You know Alex, mom, it's always his career first." Andrew replies back to mom and he gets his phone out of his pocket showing us a picture of a concert happening right now. : tonight 8pm – Alex .H Performing on stage. "Seems like his having fun with what I - " I say but not finish sentence knowing exactly what will happen. “Amari it is okay to talk about it sunshine." Mom responded, putting her hands on mine to comfort me. “Hi little sis, no need to cry, please..." Andrew says this making me realize that I am tearing up when I didn't even know that I started dropping down tears on my cheeks, then the memories of that incident and today's dream come flashing back. I let out a broken whimper catching everyone off. “Please sunshine it is going to be okay." mom holds on to me, rubbing soothing circles on my back. I later feel four arms wrap around me as I tear up. After a few minutes, I wipe my face and get out of the comfort of the hug my family was giving me. I look at them as I stand up from my sit and turn to leave before I feel someone grabbing my arm. “Amari! this has to stop!" Andrew says, I release my arm from his hold and run up to my room, landing on my bed with a big hump and positioning myself in ball form before slapping the door and locking it. I cry and cry for an hour feeling my knees aching from the position I put myself in. I just couldn't accept the fact that my own twin took my place. It was my dream to sign a record deal with Star-records industry since I was six years old, and so I practiced and practiced vocals and trained my voice to sing any note. I was so close to my dream that faithful day but then it all broke like my broken voice.