Broken

Chapter 5

Salvatore

"Really Sal? I thought you were doing well at school. Didn't expect you to disappoint me this much" mom said as she kept on complaining because I got suspended from school.

I rolled my eyes beginning to feel irritated with her complains. She has been on this for the past two hours, since I got back from school. Mr Seth had given her a call and told her about the suspension.

Ciara should be here by now. It's been two hours since the school had closed for the day.

Why should I be expecting her? I'm not the one to be babysitted by her.

But where is she?

Oh! Dumb me! Mom's not going anywhere today. She must have called her and informed her not to come.

Then mom's voice came back ringing into my ears. Is she still talking?

"It's no big deal mom, at least I got my journal back" I said, ready to end this conversation as i stood up, walked over to the fridge and poured a glass of milk.

"Are you serious? Is that what matters to you? Uh? You really think you can continue to live like this? Aren't you gonna work hard for my business sake? You know how hard I've worked to put all these up Sal, and you wanna ruin it?" She said as she stood and followed me.

I slightly rubbed my forehead with my palm trying to control the annoyance burning in me right now.

Business.

"Mom It's-" I tried to say as I turned back to look at her.

"It's what son? Because it was given to you by your dad? I should have burnt it along side with others. What on earth is wrong with you?" She continued as she interrupted me.

I looked around in frustration and I don't really know why exactly I'm frustrated. I don't know if it is because of her complains or because she's here mentioning her business when it comes to my personal life or because she's trying to put all the blame on the journal dad gave to me before we left Italy.

"Yeah, exactly. Because it was given to me by dad" I replied simply as I took a big gulp from the glass of milk and looked away from her.

"You can't ruin the future I've planned for you because of a mere journal"

Mere?

Did she just call it a mere journal?

She's really beginning to get on my nerves.

"And who says it is a mere journal? By the way, what does the journal have to do with this?" I asked disappointed as I dropped the glass and tried to walk away but she pulled me back.

"I'm still talking to you"

"I'm trying so hard to control myself mom" I said as I turned slowly to look at her.

The tension between us was growing. Yeah, I know she's my mom. The woman the brought me to earth. The sweet darling to everyone. But now, now is just one of the moments I hate. I hate to remember who she really is. I just prefer to always see that sweet side of her. I hate to remember every s**t she has done and is still doing.

I admit she works hard for our family but she puts her business before family. It seems like she doesn't but she does. She makes me feel like I'm used. I can't take a step without her saying "remember the business". She took Sofia and I away from dad because of her business.

Business.

Fuck it!

I stared at her. The same woman that claims to love Sofia and I. At times, I believe her but times like this, things are different.

Situations like this brings the reality of who she really is. All she cares about is living up to the policy that she creates. She creates a dream for me and wants me to live up to it. She does not care about my dream. She does not care about my view. She does not care about my interest. Not even my happiness. She knows how important dad is to me, she knows how much I love him even if she does not love him. She burnt every memory of him as if he is dead. She took Sofia and I away from him in Italy and brought us here to the states. She only wants everyone to dance to her tune.

She wants me to study business in the Uni, own a MBA certificate and take over her business. I've tried explaining that I don't have that dream for myself. But I don't know what exactly it is that I want. She has not given me a chance to decide. She makes decision making hard for me.

But do I really need a chance from her to decide what I want?

My life is complicated, I am complicated, my thoughts are complicated. Everything about me is complicated.

I can't really point a finger on what I want but I know for sure that I'm not interested in her business.

I don't think I'll ever be interested in the same business that made her take us away from dad.

She hasn't given dad a chance to meet Sofia in person. I feel sorry for both Sofia and him. She was pregnant when she took us away from Italy.

"What matters most to you mom?" I said finally, interrupting her complains.

"You and Sofia, you know that quite well"

"What about your business?"

"Don't try to change the topic"

"I'm not mom" I replied, trying to remain as calm as I can. "But you know that you're lying mom"

"What do you mean? Do you know how important you are to me?"

"Or how important I am to your business?" I said as turned my back at her. "I feel like I'm more important for your business than I am to you mom, I'm i correct?" I asked as I turned my back to look at her reaction.

"What are you talking about Sal? You know how important you are to __"

"Your business" I interrupted, facing her completely this time. "Yeah mom, that's all that matters to you" I said as tears formed up in my eyes but I continued anyway. "You don't care about me. Not even a bit. It's just your business. You don't care about my happiness"

"Of course, I do son. I care about your happiness" she said as she tried to reach out to me, but I pulled away.

"No, no mom, you don't" I replied as tears found a free way out of my eyes. "You make me dance to your tune everytime, you took me away from one of the people I love the most on earth, and you say I'm important to you?"

"I stopped you from relating with him because it's not the best for you"

"Relating with my dad is not the best for me?"

"Mother knows best son"

"Quit this s**t mom! Just quit it. You took my dad away from me. Burnt every goddamn photos of him. If you had the chance to burn the memories in my head, you would have. You're just a selfish person who wants everyone to dance to her tune. A shitty woman who cares more about her business than her own son"

"But I let you keep the journal"

"Makes no difference!!! f*****g makes no difference mom, what about Sofia? You lie to her that dad is dead, you can't do this forever you know?"

"I know, I know I'm a bad person. I'm the bad guy here. I know I'm s**t. But I'm doing this for your good"

"f**k the good mom! Yeah! f**k it!! Is happiness too bad to ask for? For you and dad to get back together, is it too much" I shouted. This is becoming too hard for me. She took us away without giving us a chance to say goodbye. She makes it looks like he's dead.

I could see the tears moving down her cheeks

"I don't want us to have this conversation again" she said and she walked away taking the stairs.

I know there is more to it than I think. She is more complicated than she seems. But i can't really point a finger on what's really happening. She's only making me see what she wants me to see.

I need distraction. I need to take my mind off all these s**t. For real. I can't think straight. I'm not a fan of drinking but I feel like taking something right now. I just need distraction.

My phone started ringing. Hurriedly I dugged it out from my pocket as if i was expecting an important call.

"f**k off!!!" I said silently as I saw Maddie on the screen of my phone.

This s**t should stop. This b***h should understand the meaning of we're over. I don't think I should pick her call right now. For the best of both of us but I don't think I'm thinking well right now. It feels like my brain is covered with a fug. I feel like s**t right now. Everything in my life is f****d up. No matter how hard I try, it seems like I keep starting all over again.

But I picked anyway, I need distraction right now.

"Yeah?"

"OMG Salvatore, have you been avoiding me?"

"Why did you call?"

"Answer my question first"

What is wrong with her?

"Don't make me hang up"

"Salvatore li_"

"Why did you call?" I asked again. I'm beginning to slightly recover from the conversation I had with mom"

"Wanna come over today?" She asked in her usual seductive voice.

Say no please.

"Why?" I asked instead.

"Wanna talk to you"

"About?"

"About us"

"There is no us" I said as I walked to my room. I've been standing on the spot where mom left me.

"I know. That's exactly what I want to talk to you about"

"You can just say anything you want to say now"

"No, I want to talk to you in person. Are you coming over?"

I was halfway to my room when I heard the sound of breaking something from mom's room.

Shit!

"Name the time and place" I replied. I think I mentioned that I need distraction just now.

"My place, now"

"I'll be there soon"

_______________________________________

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