Love Vs. Vengeance

My heart slammed harder in my chest as the clock ticked closer to midnight. Soon it will be 12 AM, and if I didn't shift this time, I'd be in serious trouble. I wiped the sweat that had coated my forehead and neck with trembling hands. It was that time of the year again—the Howling Dusk ceremony, an annual ceremony when all the wolves in the pack transform to their wolves and howl to the moon in respect to our origin. But I was terrified, I had never met my wolf, not even once despite being of age for a long while. For three years, I've been the pack's favorite joke - the wolf who couldn't wolf. Some days I can barely look at myself in the mirror. I never got used to it. It was just as painful. No. It was more painful each time. This year's celebration was going to cost me far more than ridicule. Sitting on the bed, I stared into the full-length mirror across from me. I gripped the sheets tightly. Not again. Please, not again. Last year's ceremony played on repeat in my head - the scornful looks, Athena's smirk, Orion's disappointed sigh. God, I can't do this again. I just can't. But what choice did I have? The wolfless Luna. The barren wife. The failure who... My chest felt so tight I wanted to scream. Or cry. Or both. I was at a breaking point with my husband. My mate would throw me out if I failed to shift this time. I got on my knees for what felt like the hundredth time today. “Please, just this once, let it happen so I can have a child for the Alpha and continue the lineage.” I prayed earnestly to the Moon Goddess. I had to be able to shift to take in. One has to happen for the other. That worried me even more. I sat back on the bed. I don't think I can bear losing Orion, mate. It would break me. I heard a knock on my door. “Come in,” I said softly, barely hearing myself. I was about to speak louder when River opened the door. I guess she heard me after all. River is Orion's younger sister. She was one of the closest people to me in the pack. We were almost the same age, just that I was older by a year. “Seraphina,” River called as she entered the room. She walked closer to me and when she got to where I was sitting, she sat beside me on the bed and took my hands in hers while I hung my head low in dejection. “Everything will be alright Sera,” she encouraged, rubbing my hands in a soothing manner. “Are you sure? What if…” “Shh… No what-ifs. I want you to trust the Moon Goddess and let everything go according to her will. Okay?” She asked, and I nodded before she pulled me into a heartwarming hug. Soon, River left. Of course she had a lot of preparations to do with the costumes, the dancers, and the food. The Howling dusk was a huge celebration for werewolves, just that it haunted me, and if her mother had found her with me, it would not have ended well for either of us. I forced myself into my ceremonial dress - an A-line gown that was supposed to make me feel like a proper Luna. Instead, the fabric felt like armor I was hiding behind. No makeup. What was the point? The pack would be focused on my failure, not my face. I walked out of the room with no particular destination in mind. As I walked along the empty hallway, the echo of a voice caught my attention. It was Orion's, and it was coming from one of the guest rooms in our building. I walked closer to the door, and then I heard the second voice; it was his mother's, Athena. I didn't want to listen to their conversation, but I couldn't bring myself not to. “This is her last chance. If she doesn't shift to her wolf tonight, I'll throw her out myself.” “Mom..” “Stop! Just stop it! Don't you know who you are? You are the reigning Alpha of the Crimson Tide pack, and you need a partner just as powerful to help you carry out your duties. Not someone like that weak, powerless, worthless Omega you call a wife!” Each word she spoke shattered my heart. Not that I was surprised. But all those words for me? “Mom, trust me, I'm confident she will shift this time. I can't send Seraphina away, I love her.” I guess that's what has kept me here. He assured me and gave me several doses of hope to keep fighting for us. I have heard enough. I straightened up from the door and quietly walked away. I made my way to the first floor, needing anything to distract me from Athena's words. Jane, my head worker, tried to stop me at the kitchen entrance, but I brushed past her and found a seat there to sit. Even the chaos of last-minute preparations was better than being alone with my thoughts. I raised my gaze to Jane who was still stunned. She had not seen me like that before , “I'm so sorry, Jane ” I apologized, she was not just my head worker, she was more of a mother and a friend to me. She was an older woman in her forties. “It's Fine My lady. Are you alright? Can I get you a glass of water?” “Please do.” I told her. After drinking to my fill. I left the kitchen. People were beginning to arrive at the pack house in their numbers as it was the venue for this year. I was sure this was going to be big with dignitaries from far and wide coming in honor of my husband and the pack. The moon pulsed with an unusual red glow as guests gathered outside. In all my years of failed ceremonies, I'd never seen anything like it. But then again, this was my last chance - and everyone knew it. Fourteen minutes to midnight. Thirteen. Twelve…