The Mate between Sisters

The Forest, Which I Should Not Have Entered.

VAELRA’s POV

I did not go home after I had left the mistress house. I could not. My legs continued to move forward with no definite direction and before I knew it, I was walking towards the forest beyond the pack boundaries.

All in me was broken. I had a tight feeling in my chest, my throat ached, and my head kept repeating what Rhevik had said to me. His words would not cease to echo.

“You eat too much.”

“That made you barren.”

“She is carrying my baby.”

I continued to wonder what went wrong with me. I continued to ask myself whether I was the cause of all this. Perhaps, I ought not to have eaten so much. Perhaps I ought to have eaten less. Perhaps I ought to have been different initially.

I had slowed down, penetrating further into the forest. Here it was colder, but it did not soothe me. It amplified my thoughts.

I recalled how I had attempted to be near Rhevik at night. I recalled that he used to shun me. At times he would drive me away. At times he would spin around and tell me that he was exhausted. There were other occasions when he would stare at me and comment on my body as though I was something dirty.

I now knew what it was. It was neither about time nor pressure. It was about me.

My legs trembled as I continued to walk.

I said to myself. “Is it my fault? Was I not enough?”

Even to my ears, my voice sounded small.

I was not aware of when I began to weep. I did not realize it until I was unable to see clearly. I wiped my face, but it was in vain.

I continued walking until I could no longer think clearly.

I once happened upon a small plant growing around the roots of a tree. It smelled queer, sharp and pungent. I had heard it elsewhere in tales and admonitions. It was used by people who wanted to escape their pain for a short time. It never solved anything, but it dulled or unsteadied emotions.

I hesitated a moment.

Then I thought again of Rhevik.

I thought of his mistress.

I wondered how he could easily substitute me.

My hands were jerking even before I could control them.

I took the plant.

I said to myself I only needed to have silence in my head. I simply wanted everything to cease aching a bit.

I crushed it and ate it.

Originally, nothing occurred. Then gradually my body began to feel light. My mind had gone all over. The pains in my chest did not go away, but it was far away, as though it was not mine any more.

I began to walk once more without mind.

The wood was no longer real. The trees were softer. The floor was knotted but I did not mind. I just kept moving.

I know not how far I went before I beheld light in front.

In the middle of the forest was a small camp.

I stopped.

I was not thinking, but a sort of impulse within me bade me come nearer. I walked toward it slowly.

A man was there.

He sat by a fire, and was making some kind of a thing close to the ground. He gazed vigilant, without being aggressive. As he saw me he arose a little.

The strength of his presence was felt even at a distance.

“You ought not to be here,” he said.

His voice was low, yet deep.

I flicked at him. My head was yet not clear. I ought to have turned and left home, but I did not.

I replied, I know of no other place to go.

He gazed at me a little, as though he was making up his mind.

Then he questioned, “Are you lost?”

I shook a little.

“No. I just. I do not want to go back,” I said.

He made no further questions. He simply indicated a place close to the fire.

“Sit, if you wish,” he said, and moved.

I sat down thoughtlessly. The fire was gradually spreading its warmth to me. It brought me even further out of touch with everything.

In a moment he said again.

“What happened to you?” he asked.

I hesitated.

Then I began to speak.

I initially said little things. Then it was more. I explained to him about Rhevik. I informed him of the rejection. I informed him of the mistress. I informed him of what he said about my body. I hardly knew how much I was saying until I could not stop.

He made no interruption. He just listened.

It was the first time no one argued with me, or corrected me or judged me.

After I had done it, I was empty once more, but more calm.

He eventually replied, “You ought not to be defined by someone. You’re pretty just the way you are.”

I uttered a little, disjointed laugh.

I replied, “that it is simple to say that when it is not your life.”

To that he made no answer.

The silence between us was some time.

I do not know what happened afterwards. Perhaps it was the plants that were still within my system. Perhaps it was the fatigue. Maybe it was just the need to feel something else.

However, at some time I had lost my mind.

He was still sitting near me. I recall him inquiring about something, but I do not remember what. I recall giving an automatic answer.

All that that followed was blurred.

One moment I was sitting there, and the next moment, I was too close to him.

It was no longer real the night. I was not completely present and my emotions were unstable. I recollect the fire. I recall that his voice grew low. I recall that I did not even consider consequences.

And then it came to pass.

As I at last managed to get myself back to myself a little, I was still there, and he was by my side.

It was all wrong and right at the same time in a manner that I could not describe.

I drew back, puzzled, with an uneasy breath.

He gazed upon me, and his face was different. Now it was serious, not like before.

Then I felt it.

There was a sharp pain on my neck, as though I were sealed in with something.

I froze.

My hand sprang to my neck.

I broke into a gasp. “Marked!”