ISH

Our love story started on a rough note, He seem too high and mighty and I? so little. I felt He was way out of my reach and His demands obnoxious. I thought He didn't love me, I never knew that He loved me for thousands of years and more and He still does. The version of Him that I knew and grew up with wasn't what He totally is. I got to know after many pointless struggles and needless pain that He loves me beyond my wildest imaginations. He loves me more than I could ever love Him, I didn't know that at first and our relationship was very fragile because of that. I was an epitome of evil and dirt and He? He is the definition of true love, a love without bounds, without limits.

My name is Zenom, just a normal teenager from Africa, Nigeria to be precise, to whom it may concern. I've always praised myself and taken pride in the fact that I'm the most non chalant person you'll find on this earth. I don't really give a damn on anyone's opinion about me, you didn't give birth to me or put a food on my table, so why should I care what you think about me.

I grew up in a Christian home, born Catholic, my parents were among the strongest members in the church. My dad was well recognized and everyone saw Him as a true christian, but he was an alcoholic. He always quarreled with my mom, he was violent to us, a horrible husband and a bad father. So I didn't quite grasp this whole God's love stuff, he was never present in my family, so I thought. To be honest if I wasn't born christian in an African home, I'll probably be a wanderer just trying to survive, to live with no life.

The image of Him painted for me right from when I was a child was so high like, by the way, He is high. It made Him look so distant and His silence in my family only tore us more apart. I graduated from high school and got admission into one of the most prestigious university in my country. I was super excited, I was leaving my home to a new environment and beginning a new life without the judging and prying eyes of my neighbors. I had my own small circle of friends, a very small circle, so you should know by now that I'm not a people's person and I dislike romantic stories. I don't like it when you tell me about your love life, because, girll!!! No one cares about your pathetic love life. I've seen enough love and pretense at home, u didn't even realize that I was bruised, broken and that my heart was hardened.

I was in my second year, when I became a little bit more conscious of His existence, my friend Melissa was always glowing. Okay, she's more of an acquaintance than a friend when we were in our second year. She always smiled, that's one thing you rarely see on my face, and her happiness was so genuine, it wasn't forced and I have to say, it was kinda infectious. One day she asked me a question that led to the first step of my relationship with Him. "Zee, you know, if you know God, the way I know Him, you wouldn't be this bitter", Melissa said brutally. I should be the one brutally honest and not her, "who said I'm bitter? I'm the funniest and happiest person you'd ever see in this planet", I retorted. She only smiled and invited me for a fellowship program that she felt my help me. To be honest I've been searching for peace but nothing I do ever brought me peace, not the K-dramas, or action movies, not the books, or even the anime...okay the anime tried a little, I became obsessive towards it but that's a story for another day.

I attended the fellowship, we prayed, they prayed actually, I did more of watching. Some were groaning, some crying and others laughing, I couldn't relate. But somehow they looked satisfied, happy, they seem to have peace and they did actually. I wanted it too, to feel happy, peaceful and bright. It was so unfair! I came from a broke home and He didn't seem to care, He was never present, so I thought. But here He was, walking amongst them and giving them peace. How many times have I cried myself to sleep? How many times have I called into Him, if He even existed? He never replied me, how many times have I tried to kill myself? Yet He didn't let me, someone or something always intervened.

I never thought He loves me the way Melissa said, she said He loves us as a Father and more. Well u don't think my father loved me, so that was a bad example to use. I decided to randomly read the bible and I encountered Him, there He was, staring at me longingly in the book of Isaiah chapter one verse 18, He said,

"Come now, let us reason together...."

He was ready to listen to me, He always had, He was ready to speak to me, He always had, I just didn't hear Him, I was so preoccupied with my problems and my loses, that I didn't hear or see Him. But I encountered Him, I began to see Him differently.

He is my Lover and I want to share our love story with you, hopefully it will help you with your relationship with Him and show you His reckless, selfless and overwhelming love He showers me every day