KARMA FAILED

“DO YOU LOVE ME?”

“Daisy!” My mom shouted again. Her tone sank in so much disbelief

Oh what the f**k man. Why is this man trying to make my life more miserable than it already is. He knows my mom is abusive, yet he is comfortable in giving her reports about me to her? Like I am not already grown enough to think for myself.

“Are you deaf?!” My mom shouted connecting a painful slap to my face cheeks.

I jumped into consciousness and started shivering.

“Mom I don’t know what he’s talking about…”

Well that lie didn’t work because Mr Derrick suddenly pulled out his phone and showed my mom what seems to be pictures of Zuriel and I, taken from the hallway cctv cameras.

He came with pictures?

There’s something going on here and I need to speak up before this man ruins my life.

Fuck whatever happens after.

Still recovering from the slap, I was already burning with so much anger and resentment towards him and my mom.

“Why the f**k are you in my house at this hour, trying to make my mom hate me more than she already does?” I asked after being silent for a while

He put his phone down on the center table and placed his hands on his waist furrowing his brows at me.

“Why are you raising your voice babygirl?”

I have never cringed that bad my whole life. Babygirl?

“What did you call her?” My mom suddenly glitched

She's switching sides now?

“Arhmm ahh I was trying to... ehm...that’s what Zuriel calls her” Mr Derrick helplessly stammered

“Shut up! You realize she’s my daughter right? And that she’s a teenager right?” My mom asked looking at him straight in his eyes

To be honest, I couldn’t make sense of what’s going on but as long as my mom isn’t hitting me, I’m fine.

“Miranda you’re on my side right?”

Bro tried to give my mom the puppy eyes. He is literally the only one I know who calls my mom by her birth name.

“f**k you and f**k your side! You just tried to hit on my daughter you i***t!”

“I didn’t. What do you mean hit on her? Hit on her like you do?”

Silence fell hard

“What did you say?” My mom asked in a fierce tone

“You heard me”

“Derrick I am giving you ten seconds to leave my house!” My mom shouted breathing hard and turning red

This switch up feels like a set up.

“Oh I should leave?”

“I hate repeating myself”

“And if I refuse?”

With that statement my mom advanced towards Mr Derrick but he was one step faster causing my mom to hit her toes on the wood beneath the couch.

“You are trying to hit me? Do I look like your daughter? After everything Miranda you haven’t changed one bit! You were, you are and will always be a traumatized, trauma causing unstable helpless monster!” Mr Derrick spit on my dumbfounded mom

“I’ll leave your house and I promise you, I’ll never return!” Mr Derrick shouted and walked out.

As he slammed the door, the silence returned but a little louder this time. Loud silence fell.

My mom didn’t even look at me. She just walked straight up to her room and slammed the door.

Damn.

What a night. I just came down for dinner and I witness this? Should I feel bad for my mom? Her boyfriend just broke up with her and called her everything horrible.

To me, food comes first.

I walk to the kitchen, wash my face in the kitchen sink and began to look for food.

As I open the refrigerator, all the unopened groceries smile at me…that’s a mutual one right there.

I grab the bottle of cold milk, box of cereals and box of chocolates. Girl dinner.

As I walked out of the kitchen up the staircase past my mom’s room I hear her crying. The most silent tears ever cried. Dammit mom!

I tried to walk past but I couldn’t. My heart wanted me to knock on her door, but my head wanted otherwise.

I decided to knock.

“Hey mom…” I whispered quietly to the door struggling to hold all the food in my hand.

“Go away” she responded

“Common mom. Please open the door” I said putting the box of cereals down. I guess the milk and the chocolates will do.

“Go to bed Daisy”

I could hear the struggle and pain in her voice.

“I’m not going to bed till I make sure you’re okay” I said to my own surprise.

My mom knows I’m stubborn so arguing with a ginger head like me is very pointless because I know I’m wrong but I also know o like frustrating you.

I heard subtle footsteps and the door was unlocked. I opened it and walked into my mom’s room.

Waves of trauma band nostalgia hit me. The last time I was in here, I was probably five because I remember telling my mom to please let me sleep with her on her bed because I was scared of a monster under my bed. Growing up, I realized that my mom was definitely the monster I was scared of the whole time.

I walked towards her bed. The image of a sobbing woman holding the picture frame of her younger self was too heartbreaking.

“Mommy” my soft voice echoed in the cold room as I sat bedside her

“Are you okay mom?”

Obviously she’s not okay but this is not a regular day in my house so I don’t know what to do or say.

“Daisy…” she finally said looking at me with red swollen eyes. She looks like a lost puppy.

“Yes mom…”

“Do you love me?”

Today just won’t end would it? She of all the persons on the world asking me about love?

“Yes” the most emotionless response

“You shouldn’t” my mom said

“I shouldn’t?” What?

“Yeah you know you shouldn’t love me. I don’t deserve your love. I’ve spent the last 20 years being the most abusive human to everyone I’ve come across because I felt the need to revenge my childhood trauma on everyone. My dad physically and sexually abused me everyday for 15 years and my mom did nothing about it. So when I heard Derrick call you babygirl I felt too triggered I lost control.”

15 years? Damn grandma!

“Oh my goodness mom why did you never tell me?” I was at the verge of tears

“Why? Why should I bug you?” She asked sounding so indifferent

“Common mom. Even if the world would judge you, I won’t.”

“It’s not that easy. I never went to a therapist because I believed I could handle everything on my own. Your dad left me when you were born. I’ve had several relationships after that while you were growing up and all of it failed because of how I am. Daisy go to bed. “ she said throwing the frame aside and burying her head in her pillow

“Mom please look at me.” I begged pulling her up by the shoulders immediately I heard her break down again

“Okay maybe you haven’t been the best mom so far but there’s no perfect mom in the world” I have no clue what I just said and neither does my mom

“What?” She asked slightly laughing

“Cheer up mom. I’m here for you. We are traumatized and we can heal okay?” I said reaching in for an embrace.

My mom pushed me away.

“Don’t you have exams tomorrow young lady? Going around hugging everyone” she was now fully laughing while dabbing her eyes with the wrist part of her hoodie

“Would it kill you to hug me this once? Please mom” I said trying my luck for another hug. She hugged me back.

She’s the warmest hugger ever, or have we both been too cold for too long?

“I actually don’t have exams tomorrow because the subjects to be written aren’t for my class or something like that” I said suddenly remembering. Still in her embrace.

“That’s nice. When did your boobs grow this big Daisy?” She asked pressing on my boobs, laughing.

“Seriously mom!” I shouted slapping her hands away, untangling from her embrace.

“It’s getting late. You need to go to bed” she said grabbing my box of chocolates.

“I want to sleep here”

“Girl you are what 18 or 19. Go to your room” she smiled kissing my forehead

“Fineeeeeee. Good night mom.” I said grabbing the box of milk and chocolates and walked to the door

“Good night baby” she said putting off the light as I walked out

Whatever dream or magic trick this is, better last forever!