Disconnected.

Chapter 7.

Should I answer it?

I was just staring at my phone, still vibrating with Julian's name on the screen. I don't know if I should answer it because I swear, my heart is really beating against my chest right now.

I feel like I am like a little girl crushing on someone.

Wait, what?

I grabbed my phone and just stared at it again. Silently wishing that he'll give up and just stop calling me. After all, I still have assignments to do.

After a few seconds, my phone stopped vibrating and I was able to breath again.

But then,  a message popped on my phone.

"Are you asleep already?" He messaged.

I was contemplating if I should reply or not but I ended up not replying to him anyway.

I know it is really plain stupid for me to just text him then he ended up calling me then not answering his call. I am really a coward when it comes to men.

I ended up just finishing my works and went straight to bed. But I ended up not falling asleep so I just watched some videos on the internet.

It was already 1 in the morning when my phone vibrated again, and it was Julian again. This time, I ended up answering the call.

"Hello." I said.

"Hi, Alexa."

God, his voice... why is it like that? What do you call that? Bedroom voice? I started to chuckle lightly.

"Oh hey. Why are you still awake?" I asked him. I even fixed my position in my bed before starting to talk with him.

"I am still doing my home works, but I am on a break now." He answered. I really don't know what to say, "So, Alexa..."

"Yes?" I answered, god. My voice is even shaking. Why am I even nervous? It is just a freaking phone call.

"Can you tell me more about yourself?" He asked, "I am really interested about you."

Oh my jolly goodies, why is he even interested?

"Interested? Why?" I asked him and he just chuckled.

"Should there be a reason for a person to be interested with someone?" He asked.

"Of course. Maybe, he wanted to know more about the person because, he or she might use it against the person or he or she really just like him..?" I explained and he just laughed.

"Did you seriously thought that I am going to use it against you? I am not that kind of person, Alexa. And for your satisfaction, I am interested because you were so frank to tell me that you are desperate to have a boyfriend, so tell me, what do you think is the main reason now why I am interested?"

I was thinking that maybe he likes me or I don't know. That will be impossible thought because we haven't seen each other, heck, we don't even know the appearance of each other.

"Well, I think you just want someone to talk to with. You were fond of me because I do say what I feel and you like that." I shrugged.

"Well, maybe you are correct on that one." He said, "But I know that you are afraid because you might be thinking right now that I am a typical f**k boy who likes to go around f*****g girls, but I am not like that. I am just a lonely man." He explained, "I am not happy with myself anymore."

"Huh? Why are you not even happy?" I asked.

"Nothing, it's just I think that my life is boring right now. I always do what others wanted me to do. I know, you might argue that I should not do it unless I am happy with it but, the problem with me is that, my happiness is for me to know that people are happy on what they want me to do." He said. I can feel the heaviness on his voice and he really is, sad?

"You know what, Julian. You should not be in prison with your thoughts. You should do what you love to do. Do your thing! Do not let others dictate the life that you want. I may be a biology student right now and my mother wanted me to become a doctor like her but the reason why I am pushing myself to do it is because, I wanted to be like her. I wanted to become a doctor and look, I am good at it because I know that I love what I am doing. Trust me, it is very much easier for you to do things if you love it. Do not settle for less, do what you think is the best for you." I said. I even yawned after.

"Sounds like you area really sleepy now." He chuckled, "And thank you for your words of encouragement and I am happy that you have a wonderful family supporting you on your dreams. It is just my family wanted me to pursue engineering even though I wanted to be an architect. I have no idea why, maybe because my entire bloodline are engineers and it might be considered a curse to them if someone breaks it."

Engineering huh.

"I am sorry if you are feeling that way.." I pity him to be honest. Imagine how hard it is for people to do things that they are not really happy about.

To be honest, I am not really happy when my mother decided what I need to take in college but I was able to embrace it. I was able to adapt to it. Maybe it is because I can see my siblings becoming doctors so I was really motivated to do so. 

"No need to be sorry." He said, "I am really okay, I just need a few months then I will graduate. It is like swallowing my own bile thinking about it but, I have no choice, right?"

"Look.." I started, "Just imagine hearing your name to be called engineer, that is very fulfilling right? I think you are on your final year as an engineering student so I think it will be really worth it when the time comes that you will get that diploma and march the stage. I can even watch you on your graduation day if you wanted to!"

Oh god, what did I just said?

"Really?" He was amazed, "That would be amazing if you can come so."

"Of course, I will come, just do your best and graduate on time, okay?" I assured him. I know that this is just a word spill but no one will get hurt when I attend his graduation if ever, right?

"Yeah. I will do that." I can feel that he is smiling on the opposite line.

"Hey, Julian. I really need to go to bed now. We can talk again next time."

"Oh, okay. Yeah, sure. You should sleep. Good night. Alexa."

"Yeah, you too, Julian."

And I ended the call, guess what? I was happy that I talked to him.