Beautiful and Better (ENGLISH)

Ten

My eyes are swollen, and I can hardly open my eyes because of crying so much. I can scarcely breathe too.

I don’t know where Thorin and Tate took Matthew. As soon as they left them, it was unconscious. Even if I wanted to come, Mommy and my siblings would stop me. I looked at the door of my room when it opened, and the older brother entered.

"Are you still crying for that man?" I did not answer him and just covered my head with a blanket.

I felt as if my bed was hanging down. It meant he was sitting next to me. He sat there for a few minutes before speaking again.

"Are you mad at me?" He asks in a soft voice, and I knew that tone of him. 

I knew they loved me. But they are showing too much affection that it's choking me. That I was already imprisoned by their loved and care for me. Don't they understand the word letting go?

"I hate all of you!" I bit my lip to stop the sound of my crying.

"We're doing this for you. You don't know him that well--"

"Do you know him? You also don't know him to judge him like that," I interrupted what he was saying.

Everything a person does to live naturally, that kind of work will enter it. I accept whatever he has been through. Because I know he is ready to change for me. Who am I to judge him even though I am not the right person.

"Leave him. Because maybe next time it won't just happen to him,"

"If it's that easy to leave the person you love for everyone's peace Rion, I did it a long time."

"But that's what it takes," he whispered as he stroked my head. "Baby, you don't deserve to suffer from that kind of relationship. We want to love you, wholeheartedly, and be happy."

I can't help but feel sorry for what he said again.

"I will be happy with him, so I hope you let me!"

He stood up before quietly walking towards my room's terrace with a large glass window and covered with a large curtain. He is serious about everything. Even though we know, he has his path and problems, and he is still quiet.

"It's not like you’ll be happy with him. You made the right decision. Sometimes you need to consider more so that you can say you are happy, Tally. And that includes being content with life and the person in front of you. But you are not Matthew. "

I don't know, but I feel now that I don't know if I just let Matt go. Because Mom fainted in front of me, it was as if my world suddenly became confused with fear. Afraid that what might happen here is because of me. And that's what I can't accept to hurt Mom because of me.

I do not know what time Rion left my room. Because when I woke up, it was morning. Our formerly quiet house was now noisy because of my siblings. When I got down, they were all in the kitchen, but I immediately turned around when I saw Dad. But when he called me, I could do nothing but face it again.

"Where are you going?"

"In my room Dad."

"Stay and eat, Mary Tallulah!" I was forced to sit down when Tate pulled me to sit next to him.

I could hardly swallow my food anymore. Because right now, I feel like I'm choking when I think Matt might not be able to eat now because of me.

Even if I wanted to visit him, I could not because he might not want to see me. He was the one who was beaten, but I was the one who was hurt and could hardly sleep because I was thinking about what he looked like while catching all the punches from Tate. He kept coming back to me how he looked at me as he slowly lost strength in front of me.

"Eat, Tally. This is not the time for you to reflect on the food," Thorin said in a baritone voice.

"Enough! Stop bugging your sister," Mom scolded them.

But no matter what they do, I don’t feel support from them. Besides, they don't agree with all the decisions I make. And now I am destroying them again like what I did years ago. I do everything I can to make them happy, but often they still see all my wrongdoings. I don’t need this treasure because I have had it all my life. All I want is to be happy and truly loved.

"It's okay, Mom. I'm used to them being like this. I can't force everything that I want. I'll go. First, I lose my appetite," I said before standing up.

But I was not able to stand up properly yet. Dad spoke again.

"If you don't like my policy on this house, the door is open, and you can leave," he said.

That is not a reminder or anything. That is one of the rules I need to follow.

I locked myself in the room and repeatedly called Matt. I can't wait to see if he will call me or not. If he doesn't want me anymore, I will accept it. All I want is to know is if he is okay. 

"Matt, please answer it. I called you last night," I whispered while redialing Matt's number. 

I was frustrated, sitting down next to my bed when I still could not contact Matt. Ari forbade her to come here to the house. I can't talk to anyone but them. Tate said I was under house arrest. It's up to them what they want to do. All I want to know is if my boyfriend is okay or if he is still my boyfriend.

I do not know how many times I blinked and rolled my eyes while looking at my phone. Matt's name is flashing on the screen. It was as if I was suddenly hyperventilating, knowing that he was calling me, so I immediately ran to the terrace and got some air.

"Matt .." 

"Hello, sugar," he said on the other line as my tears flowed one after another. 

"How are you? Are you okay? Have you eaten yet? Where are you?" one after another question to make him laugh. 

"Hey, don't cry. I'm fine. It just bruises, it heals, and it will disappear. The important thing is that you are okay." 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Matt," I whispered as I couldn’t stop crying. I could hardly breathe as I called.  

"Sugar, don't cry. I get hurt when I see you like that. Your eyes are already swollen," he said, then I was immediately confused and turned around.  

"Are you here? Where are you? I want to see you," I said while the sesame was all around.  

"I'm not there. I'm here outside the mansion. Over here a little more and there."  

It was as if I wanted to jump on him and run to where he was. My heart almost circled when I saw him from a corner and waved at me.  

My dearest.

I put my hand in my mouth while crying quietly. I do not know how I can stop myself from crying. Because no matter how much I wipe and soothe myself, my tears still flow spontaneously. 

"Don't cry. Everything will be fine too. Didn't your Dad hurt you again?" he asked with a trace of concern in its voice. 

"No. My siblings are already here to stop him. I miss you," I said while looking at the man I love. 

"I miss you too! I'm worried for you, sugar. When I find a way to get inside the mansion, I'll visit you."

This man never fails to amaze me. He always makes sure that I was okay and I was in good hands. How can you not love a man like him? When all the shows you were the right thing you wanted to see in a person, how can you resist loving him? 

After we talked, Matt also disappeared immediately. Even though he already left earlier, my tears still do not stop. I do not know if I feel guilty or pity for the situation he is in. 

"Can I still go to my office, Rion?" He looked at me impatiently. 

"Don't ask me that because you know the answer to your question Tallulah." I sighed. 

"I'm bored. Just let me go to the mall. Dad will let me leave when you are with me."

"You're not beating Dad. Just sleep so we can be quiet, too," he snorted. 

"I will run away if you do not accompany me," annoyed me when I marched away from them. 

I decided to go to sleep, but a knock woke me up before I could do that. When I opened it, my three brothers greeted me.

"I thought we were leaving?" Tate asked impatiently, leaning on the door. 

When they said that, I immediately closed the door and looked for something to wear. And immediately followed them who had been waiting in the car. 

"I thought we were going back to the room! You're big enough to take care of yourself, but here we still need to watch over you." I rolled my eyes at Tate, who kept on mumbling the whole ride.

My siblings are annoying. Imagine your daily life like this? The whole trip, they did nothing but tease and annoy me. It makes me wonder when they will leave my life again. I always choose to be alone than with them, who always wanted to pick a fight with me. 

I don't want to go out, but Matt and I need to meet. And this is just the only place where I can move freely. Even my siblings are around me, moving around the area without them noticing I'm going to meet Matt. I was afraid of what I would do, but I still wanted to try. I can no longer be bothered not to see Matt even for a moment. 

"Where do you want to go?" Thorin turned to me as we entered the mall. "Can we go through the book store first?" I informed them.

I was arriving at the bookstore, and I tested whether or not to get away from them. But they still beat the fly that always tails wherever I go. 

"Can you let me go first for a moment?" 

"Sorry, baby, we can't lose sight of you. Because Dad will be angry at us," Tate replied to me. 

So I need to find a way to escape from them. Because maybe later, Matt will suddenly leave, and we might never meet again. 

"I'm just here on the other aisle. I won't go away. So can you give me some space?" I hissed on them. 

And it looks like what I did at work. Because one by one, they moved away from me. I Immediately looked for Matt. It took me a few more times around the aisle before I found him.

When I saw Matt, my tears immediately flowed. Now while looking at him, I feel like a coward in front of him. I wanted to see him, yet I tried to run away too and hide from him. 

A hug greeted me as I approached him.  A hug that erases all my doubts about our relationship.  That no matter what happens, no matter how hard he is, he will still not let me go.  And continue to hug in the middle of the wheel, mediating between my family and him.

But before I could say or do anything, someone pulled me away from Matt. And to my horror, it was my brothers who’re glaring at me. 

All I wanted was to meet Matt and make it up to him. 

But maybe God forbids us to be together. 

A scream came out from my lips when Tate punched Matt. He hasn't recovered yet from all the bruises they made before. Now here they are again. Punching the man I love over and over as if hurting him will satisfy their hatred of him.

“Damn it! Tally, I almost hit you!” Tate shouted. 

I jump into them and kneel. “Please stop! Oh, my God! Please don’t hurt him anymore. I won’t contact or call him again. Just don’t hurt him. Please leave him alone.” I pleaded while crying in front of them. 

I don't know how I can pull them away. My brothers are already messing with Matt, who does not fight back with them.

I wanted him to fight back, but he sadly smiled at me and shook his head. Does the love me that much to endure this kind of me? I can't bear it anymore.