The Life of Her

Making an Excuse

It takes an act of courage to face what’s bothering someone’s soul. And to me, I have dealt it with ignorance and incompetence. How long did I keep my silence? I laughed at that thing. Perhaps, I’m really a coward. Since the last time I saw them, they were laughing at each other as nothing had happened between their marriage. Hypocrites.

Deep inside, I wanted to scold Mom for falling in love all over again with the man that had hurt her many times. She’s being a martyr in the long run. Hate to say it, but she’s becoming stupid. But even if I tried, do my best to persuade her, I knew that her decision is final until then. I lost the hope in helping her and somehow, the relationship I have with my mother had now become cold just like with him.

I never wanted to be like this especially to Mom, but it felt like I suddenly lost myself when she’s being persistent. What will it cost if you did save your marriage but then you already lost yourself? I wished I could tell her that. I wished I could slap her the things that keep her blind. But they were all wishes that were hard to find; questions with no perfect answers. I just lost of finding home and not even know how to describe it.

I stared at my dry canopy. The alarm clock was still ringing, letting me know that I have to rise. I sough as I felt my body is still in no condition. A week had passed since I fetched her up in that hotel where she saw them. Where we saw them.

It’s also a week that we’re not talking to each other that much. Mom had filled herself with other stuff and she’s been occupied with her online teaching as well. She's reverting it all so she won't have time to deal with her emotions. A pile of homework is still on my desk. Yet, I don’t have the urge to do one of them, or maybe sloppiness had hit me hard again. I felt like I need such rest to clear my mind.

I slowly rose from my ground. I stopped the alarm and took my flats on. My phone budged my privacy all of a sudden. I glimpsed at it and it was Lucas who is calling. Somehow, there’s already a hint on what’s he’s going to talk about.

“Hey, Lucas.” I promptly said.

“Hello, bro. You didn’t update me after what happened. Mom is asking when you are going to visit here. Is everything okay, Trent?” His voice was soft.

“Y-Yeah. I’ll be going there next week. I just have to make things here right now, especially my studies.” I replied shortly.

“The thing is…I lost the notebook.” He whispered on the other line.

I froze in my seat when I felt the chill trotting down my spine.

“H-How? Did you bring it with you when you’re going to different places? Why are you being absent-minded?” I pondered.

“I-I…didn’t mean it to happen! I remembered I just put it beside my books and pens and the last time I saw it was when you’re here.” He shrieked.

I rubbed and scuffed my back. “If anything bad will happen to us, I will surely go to you directly. Do you get that? Try to find it and if you can’t, just pray with all your heart that it’s not a cursed thing you have brought in your house that day.”

“F-Fine. I’ll search for it. I’ll give you an update if I did.”

“Okay. Take care, Lucas.”

“Likewise, bro.”

He hung up the call and I moved myself downstairs. The house was solemn. Molly hasn’t barked early this morning. I searched Mom’s presence but I thought that she was gone to take again her baking lesson with Mrs. Mouresette.

I heard that woman really cooks so well, though I wasn’t able to meet her until now. I walked to the kitchen and saw a yellow note on the fridge. I pulled it and read it.

I’ll be out to meet Mrs. Mouresette today. Your food is in the fridge. Just heat it if you want. Also, Molly ate his food. I left a bill in the living room. Buy food for him. – Mom

I looked at the clock. It’s nine in the daylight. I grabbed my glass and poured water in it. Opening the fridge, I saw the meal she was talking about. Fried chicken, macaroons and lettuce. She also left me a small container filled with dip for the lettuce.

I clutched each one of them and settled. I instantly dig in. I heard the gate suddenly sounded. Someone just arrived. Taking a large bite of my food, I hoisted from my seat and peaked at the living room’s window. I was stunned when I saw him taking his shoes at the side of the door, while his left hand was holding a tray of grilled tuna.

I slowly opened the door for him and our gaze met. His face was a bit stern and so as to mine. I greeted him with a languid voice.

“Good morning, Dad…”

“Good morning.”

He lent me a timid smile and sent himself inside the house. He offered me the tray and said, “This is for you. Where is your Mom?” His eyes scanned the house as he walked towards the couch and stooped.

“She’s out for her cooking lesson…”

I could feel how my dad is staring directly at me. I don’t want to bother him right now that I made myself move back to the kitchen, bringing with me the food he had brought. I focused myself on finishing my food, cleaned the plates, and went to my room. But then, he suddenly stopped me by the stairs with his words.

“Did you and your mom went to Hotel de Fuentes a week ago?”

My hold became tighter from the side. So, you have seen us back there, huh? I slowly turned my head to face his momentous face. A smile was plastered on mine. It was fake. I was secretly, hysterically laughing at his question.

“No. We went to the mall for dinner, Dad. Why? Did something happened…there?”

His face suddenly stiffened and he clearly became subtle. Yes, that’s it Dad, shield yourself with the sin you made several times. You don’t want the gods hunting you down. I smirked.

“N-No. I thought I have seen you there. Nevermind it. Do you want to watch it with me?” He offered with a smile.

I do…I do want to see you with that woman…and rot together. I was gritting my teeth. I’m sorry, Dad. But you made me distanced myself from you.

“Thank you, but I still have to finish my homework…you know grades are important.” I laughed a bit.

Just like what you want.

“I also need to buy food for Molly. I’ll see you around.” I retorted.

As if I want to.

I strode inside my room and hooked the door. The curtains romped with the arid puff, it was hot. I shoved to it and watched the vehicles passed our house.

A woman with her black outfit was unhurriedly walking in the street, her head was down – hands inside her pockets. There was a somber vibe as I watched her passed by. I couldn’t see her face at all, but someway, she was a bit familiar to me.

She suddenly looked at different sides of the road, as if trying to figure out which way will she take. A couple of seconds, I saw her turned to the right. Then, she vanished by the thick leaves of the tree in the neighborhood.

There’s nothing to do this day, except for the homework on my table which I can totally do later. I should finish them in the night and maybe go to school tomorrow to pass them. Since I don’t want to catch in the way with those gangsters, as what they called themselves, I’ll go early in the morning.

I went inside the bathroom and took my time with the cold water. I decided to go out for a while this morning and buy his food. Molly has been dealing with the other neighbor’s dog, since he’s on heat.

Ten minutes after my refreshment, I went outside the bathroom and wore my V-neck burgundy shirt and grey jogging pants. I brushed my hair and glimpsed on my phone when it suddenly beeped with a message. Mom had texted me. I opened the message and read hers.

-I’m currently doing groceries. Do you want anything?

- Nothing in particular, but those chocolate bars will do if ever.

- Okay, Your Dad texted me that he came home until dinner. Is everything alright there?”

-Yeah. I have to go. Bye.

I didn’t wait for her response. I grabbed my cap and bag and went downstairs. I saw Dad currently enjoying his plate of the salad that Mom made. He noticed me and laid his food on the table.

“Are you going somewhere?” He curiously asked as his eyes traveled to my bag.

I nodded. “I’ll buy some for Molly. I’ll come home straight before dinner.”

“Oh…Okay…I also want to talk with you regarding some matters. I’ll wait. Take care.”

I looked at him with a cold stare and suddenly changed into a joyous smile. This mask of mine is surely helpful at this time or maybe in the long run. I scoffed. I waved my hand to him and went off.

Before taking a cab, I looked back to our house. Perhaps, going somewhere else right now and making me buy Molly’s food have helped me to avoid him. But how long? It will surely end this night. I sighed and went inside the vehicle.

___

The weather is in a nice situation. The driver stopped me in front of Ellie’s Marketplace. I heard chatters in different directions. A group of students, who’re in their maroon uniforms passed me, and I recognized their topic. It was the house that I and Lucas have visited last week.

“Did you hear? Someone just entered that house again.” A woman with a ponytail and a red ribbon indicated.

She was lean and she has a big scar on her right elbow. Her face was full of scratches and even her forehead has a band-aid.

“Oh, stop it, Jean. It really gives me creeps when we talk about that house.” A man knocked her over the shoulder and twirled. He was bald and petite.

A girl standing next to him, burst into a laugh that she could cry her eyes out. People started to give her the attention, which in return, she got conscious but still wearing her confidence. She wasn’t slacking off about their current topic.

She sniggered as she extended her arms. Her short hair drooped with the whiff.

“Hah! As if they would want to visit that place ever again. If those men really have the guts to get outside, then they have the mercy from the owner of that house. They should be lucky if they went out in one piece.”

“Do you think they snatched something from within?” The guy said almost in a whisper.

The young lady rubbed her chin. “Maybe they did…maybe not. Who knows?”

Their little chatter was becoming long that I decided to move and went inside the mall. The cold atmosphere welcomed me as well as the virtuous, mouth-watering smell of the waffles. I licked my lip and went to it.

You deserve one, Trent.