Until Then

The Morning After

Christian

I woke up this morning a total wreck. Yeah I am a wreck. What happened in that room totally wrecked me. Of course, I am never going to admit it to Frank. Well not yet. I went straight to the kitchen, since I asked Earl to cancel my schedule for the next 2 days, I have nothing better to do but make myself breakfast. It’s almost 9am so I am pretty sure Frank left for work by now. But then again, I was wrong. Because there she is, her sexy back facing me while she sips coffee and read through her iPad.

“Still here huh. Have you eaten? I don’t have much though, you know we both are non-breakfast eaters most of the time.” Yup we are two busy people who have no time for breakfast. A good coffee cup is all we need. She looks at me and smiles brightly like nothing happened. “I see your alcohol tolerance has improved a lot. No hangovers?” I asked. And she just answered confidently without batting an eyelash “ Nope! None at all! You?” She asked.

“None too. So care for another let’s destroy our liver session tonight and drink our hearts out?” I teased. She almost spilled her coffee. “Oh is that so Mr. CEO. Have you lost all other guy friends that you want to turn me into your whiskey drinking buddy now? Besides why do you have to drink your heart out? Are you in love or something Chris??” I didn’t see that coming. Did I offend her? “Of course not! You are and will always be my one and only best girl. What makes you say that? I am so hurt. Ouch!” While touching my chest. And looking at here with a smirk. “So no hang overs mean you remember exactly everything that happened last nigh right Francine?” And then I saw it. That nervous look in her eyes when she is trying to hide something from me.

Francine

Busted! Knowing Chris and that look in his eyes, I am sure he can read exactly what is on my mind. Why? Why do I remember everything. Why? in my dreMy state I asked him if he loves me and he said yes thinking I will wake up today forgetting all about it. But why the hell did I have to kiss him??? I am such a hypocrite. But do I really love him, like love, love for a man? God I am so confused. But what do I do??? Argh! I hate myself right now. I should have gone straight to work when I woke up but my high school self told me to stay put because I kissed my high school crush last night.

All this time, I thought I have outgtown that stupid crush I have on him. Especially when I met Jack. He made my heart flutter and I am sure I love him. But it's like I have some dual personality that when my guard is down my heart fluttees for Chris and its a million butterflies in my stomach and I am almost fuckin 3p. s**t!

"Yup I remember every.single.thing. Happy now Andrews?" I replied to him. Now it's your turn to look nervous. I honestly don't know where this will take us both but I don't think living another decade not knowing will kill me. "So did you swallow your tongue? or you want me to suck it out of your mouth?" s**t! I wasn't able to filter that. At this point, the hell I care. The next thing I knew, he grabbed my head and took my mouth into his. Our tongues twisting and turning against each other like we cannot get enough. we only stopped when my phone rang. Yup, it's Jack. I know he saw the caller ID because I heard him curse under his breath. I don't know if I should laugh or what.

"Hi Hon!" I said as soon as I picked up. Jack went to my office to surprise me with my fave coffee only to find out I wasn't in yet. "Oh sorry I spent the night at Chris. I think he got the Flu. He has fever since last night. His doctor already came. I am about to head off in a while. I have a full day today. see you this weekend?" I waited for him to reply and then I hang up. If looks could kill, Chris could have killed me me with his glares.

“What? You did have a fever last night. Well I thought you did. You were just hot all over.” Chris raising an eyebrow. So I guess I have to settle the score once and for all. “Look, I remember everything, what I asked you, what you said, what we did and what I said. Right now, let’s process this first. I need to sort out my feelings and so do you. I mean we both know we love each other ever since. But after what happened last night I am not sure what kind of love we have and if we are both aware of it.”

“So nothing should change between us and how we live our lives until we sort it out. Look Jack has treated me really well over the past 2 years and I have no reason to hurt him at least not prematurely. Until we are both sure. Yeah?” there I said my piece. I hope Chris is on this with me. He still hasn’t spoken and he is killing me.

Christian

So she was herself last night like I was myself last night. That’s a relief, saves me from having another panic attack just thinking about whether I should tell her or not. So yeah I won’t let this pass I really need to kiss her again just to be sure. I grabbed her head and took her mouth into mine. It still is as soft as it was last night, but this time its as if our mouths fit each other and our tongues are just meant to find the other. Damn that the phone whoever is calling her right now. Damn you Jack! She called her hon. Well what do I expect, they are still together, I cannot even sort my own feelings I cannot just expect her to use sort it out for me.

I can only glare at her but I have to admit, she handled this pretty well. Or is she handling it well on the surface and not inside like me. I was actually speechless and can only glare at her. I have always hated how they get so sweet towards each other but unlike before I was cool about it now,, I jut cannot anymore. More than how she is handling this right now, it was her words that really also put me in place. I thought I was confused but after last night’s kiss and this one again I just know that I am not confused anymore and I love her as a woman no longer just the girl who I grew up with. No longer just a girl I needed to protect because we have been friends for so long.

All that while it remains that I want to protect her, but this time not because I needed to but because I wanted. I want to show her off not just because I am proud of what she has achieved for herself but I want to show her off because she is mine. But what if it does not work out? Which has always been my fear that is why for the past two years I have kept it all to myself. So what do I do? Do I let her decide on this? But what if if she chooses Jack instead? Can I live with that? Do I decide instead? But if it doesn’t work out I might just end up not having her even as my friend.

“Yeah, you are right. You need to sort out how YOU feel. I have sorted out mine long time ago but I guess being tough in business does not mea you can be tough on love right? I mean the stakes are high with you and I am not sure I can go all in and lose you in the end. It is such a high risk and I cannot take it. Well not yet at least.” We both were silent for while just looking at each other. Then I hugged her really really tight. The kind that makes someone feel that you are not willing to lose them.. Not now, not ever.

“I love you so much Francine. I love you so much that I would rather have you as my friend than not have you at all.” I looked at her and saw her teary eyed and kissed her lips one last time. This will do for now. If it happens and I go all in, I will make sure all bets are off and she will be mine for the rest of our live. I promise Frank, once I am ready there is no letting go. Just you wait. I let go of her and went back to making myself coffee.

“I cancelled my plans for the next two days. I figured i need some time to think and sort things out. But since I have sorted it out I hope it’s enough time to toughen up and be patient until you have sorted it out too. Ok?” I asked trying to read her eyes. I will wait for you Frank but I hope you can wait for me too.