Until Then

Do I tell her?

Christian

“Hey?” I asked in a really honest to goodness infused state. I can already anticipate the yelling from Francine. Her left eyebrow is almost at my ceiling. Wait for it.

Francine

I am so pissed right now and so worried at the same time. Do I smack some sense into him? I can only raise one eyebrow right now. Ok deep breaths. Finding my center right now. Argh!!! “Seriously Christian Andrews, what game are you playing? I almost made my car flew from my studio to here only to install you butt naked in your tub! Care to explain before I knock the life out of you.”

“I had a panic attack.” Chris said avoiding my eyes. He seems to be telling the truth. But panic attack? Why? How? “What? I mean what happened? Tell me. Are you ok now? Do you need me to get you anything? Well apart from your clothes.”Chris relaxed and I saw him smile after that. I think he has calmed down by now.

“Tell me, what happened Chris. I am worried now.” I sat beside him in bed. Nope not under the sheets, gross! I didn’t forget he is still naked there. And then he half hugged me putting his arms around my waist. We are comfortable like this. We are both turning 30 this year and despite being adults nothing can take away the safe space we have of each other.

“Start talking, I cancelled my meeting so better be sure this is worth it yeah?” I told Chris while we lay there. “I had a sudden thought I might lose you and I figured drowning myself with some whiskey will remove those thoughts away but then I cannot breathe I thought I was going to die and that is when I sent you that message.” Chris said in a calm and lonely voice. I didn’t know how to react. I know he meant it. I can feel it in my heart that he meant it. But why I am feeling this way? Like I am scared to hear the rest off what he wanted to say. I want to ask more but scared to ask more. “I am not going anywhere dude. I am here right beside you always. What made you think that? My gosh cannot believe that the most eligible bachelor, the best CEO there is, is having a baby moment right now. I should hav taken a video.” I joked at him, I don’t know how else to lighten the air. Hope it works.

“What baby moment? I am not being a baby. f**k! Frank, here I was scared as hell with the though of losing you and here you are poking fun at me for having a baby moment? Fine! I am being baby.” He stood up forgetting he was all commando and there is Joey saying hello again to me.

“Ummm, Chris, you know I love you right and that I have seen you and you have seen me and we concluded that there is nothing there but please don’t go walking around with Joey saying hi. Oh and by the way, I didn’t really realize that Joey is all grown up now you know, it’s been decades right since he said hi.” I think that burst his bubble because I saw the shock in his eyes once he realized it. I think I will have a heart attack though because Joey is all up and about now. I threw him his pillow which he more than willingly grabbed to cover Joey.

“Did you just give my d**k a name? It’s Joey now huh. Well do you want to shake hands with Joey? Because I can seriously introduce you to him.” Chris roared and I know I pissed him off big time. “Yuck! Don’t you dare Andrews! You know i just run my mouth like that but i never really touched one. So f**k off!” I hissed at him and went out of the room. Now I need a whiskey.

Christian

Francine is the death of me. I mean it. I was having a moment yes. I am not being baby,I am being a man who loves her but is too proud to tell her. So yes it’s my moment because I swear to God she is mine. No one can have her. I am just letting her take her time now but I won’t allow anyone to have her. I almost wanted to tell her how I feel. But not yet. And then she calls my thing Joey. She f*****g named him. I don’t know if she pissed me off that much that it wake Joey up gaaah I am calling it Joey now too. Or did she turned me on so badly Joey woke up by himself. f**k I am doomed.

She threw me a pillow and I think she just realized what she did. Damn, Frank had I know you will turn everything in my body on. I should have kept you inside your apartment ever since. I knew then when I felt my heart ache when you told me you are in love with someone that you life is doomed. Today’s encounter with Jack and the panic attack that came with the realization that Frank will say yes hit me so hard it knocked the air out of me. Looking at her now makes me all confused even more. I love you Frank but how? How do I tell you without scaring the s**t out of you. I want to let go of this pillow covering the fully awake Joey and just claim her. Hug her, kiss her and make her mine. Wait what??? Did she just say she is still a virgin???

Before I can even respond to what she just said, she stormed outside the bedroom. It took a minute or 2 before I came back to my senses. I took a hot shower to calm my nerves and Joey. Yes Joey, I am calling it Joey now. If Frank wants to call it Joey then Joey it will be. I changed into my waist shorts and white shirt and went out to look for her. It’s almost dinner time should I cook or should I just order in?

I found Francine, with a whiskey glass out at the balcony overlooking the New York Skyline. I wrapped my arms around her waist and hugged her from behind. if you don’t know us. You will think we are couple. because yes we are this way, when it is only just us. “Sorry about that” She looked at me and kissed my cheek. “ Sorry for what? It was my fault. I shouldn’t have teased you. I guess I would also have a panic attack if one day I realize I will lose you.” Then she walked back in. She asked me if I am hungry. I said just a little so we decided on just cold cuts, cheese, and yes whiskey.

It was almost past 2 in the morning when we call it quits with the whiskey and went to bed. Yes just like her apartment where he had a room for me, she has a room here with a full closet too. Because come to think of it this is her home too. Like her home is my home because she is my home. Ok scrap that. I am a CEO for crying out loud. Women drool when I walk past them and here I am all puppy eyes for Frank. It’s like I am under a spell. I don’t even know how it started.

I checked up on her and saw that she is already laid down in her bed. After drinking that much whiskey in one hour by myself and then having another round with Frank, I am surprised I am still fully sober right now. How I wish I am just super drunk so I can come up with an excuse because I want to kiss her so bad. Those plump pink lips of hers that are so mouth watering I want a taste of it. She squirmed a bit and then I heard her say something. “Oh Chris” she was whispering no moaning my name. Is she having dreams about me? I brushed her hair away from her face using my hands. And then she opened her eyes. She still looks like she is in a dream. “Chris, do you love me?” She whispered, still in her dreams i think. but nevertheless, I replied. “Yes Frank, I love you. I love you so much if you only knew.”

I guess I needed to tell her that moment. Even if she is dreaming. Praying that tomorrow when she wakes, she remembers the dream as clear as it is to me now. Until then, I will be just here, until she is ready, until I am ready. The next thing that happened caught me by surprise. She held my face and placed it close to hers and then she opened her mouth and kissed me. Of course I kissed her back, as passionately as I can but just as soft just like her lips. It was a long lingering kiss any longer than that I would thrust my tongue inside her mouth and kiss her harder and with hunger. And then she stopped, closed her eyes, and said “I love you too Christian Andrews, more than you can imagine.” And then she snoozed off again. And just like that I know I am doomed for life.