Damon | Blacks | Secret

5 | Let Me Heal Those s****l Temptations

Can you send me my friends number? Your phone is boring, you really don’t have a life do you?

No, I don’t.

Imagine having no photos.

You don’t have anything, not even a contact.

That’s because my phone is weird.

Your phone is s**t. Even the screen is fighting for its last breath.

I snorted out a laugh in the darkness of my room.

Leave Maximus alone, alright.

Maximus? You named a phone.

Its after a horse in Rapunzel, I used to have some odd crush on it.

You used to have a crush on a horse? I think its time to block you now.

You’re acting like you never had a crush before.

I never said that.

But you’re acting like it.

Typing….

If I could, I would block you, but your phone is disabled.

My phone is perfectly fine, your attitude isn’t.

You do know you’re talking to a random stranger at four in the morning.

And you’re doing the exact same.

I’m not enjoying it though.

So then why reply, you could just switch my phone of and ignore me.

I don’t sleep.

You overthink too?

Something like that.

Same.

I am not the only overthinker, I thought it was me versing myself, but it turns out that this stranger overthinks too.

Can I ask you a question?

You already did.

Well can I ask another?

You did that too.

And you call me the annoying one.

You are.

I’m trying to figure out someone, but he doesn’t want to be figured out. What do I do?

Leave him the f**k alone.

But I feel like I can help him.

How can you help him, if you don’t know him?

No, I do know him, sort of. He’s very closed off, to himself. And he hates me.

I can see why he hates you.

I am actually very likable.

Of course, you are.

How about we play a game?

Why not.

Two truths and a lie.

Go on then.

I hate cartoon characters; I wear baggy clothes and I fear food.

The first ones a lie, you have a crush on a horse. And, you fear food?

I couldn’t think of anything…

What do you mean by that?

I always get body shamed…see I am not your typical kind of girl. With an hourglass body or a big bum and big boobs. I am the exact opposite.

It’s good to be different.

Is it though? When you’re different, you’re bullied into the standards of other people.

Just don’t let them get into your head.

Easier said than done unknown person.

Don’t be afraid of being different, be afraid of being the same as everybody else.

So, moving on, your turn.

I am a drug lord; I hate everyone and I like a girl who hates me.

I feel like they all sound true.

I chuckle to myself.

Maybe they are.

So, lets talk about this girl you like.

I’d rather not.

Why not?

I don’t like talking about my personal life.

Oh, so she’s personal to you

Very funny.

What’s her name at least?

Why would I tell you that?

You like them private

Stop using that emoji, I don’t want it on my recent.

Okay. What do you like about her?

She’s different. She’s not like the other girls but she’s out of bounds.

Why?

She’s my best friends sister.

Dirty mother fucker

Fuck my life.

Just go for it, ask her out on a date.

No.

Why not?

She’s too good for me.

We are all too good for everyone.

She just doesn’t deserve me; she deserves someone better.

.

.

.

“Wake up! Where the f**k is my shampoo?” I groan grabbing onto my head as I lift the covers, throwing them over my head. Only for it to be dragged back down, I lock eyes with my older brother. Anger steamed all over his face. “Ewe, you’re ugly.”

“I get it from my older brother.”

“You wish, dad’s coming over today, he wants to wish me a happy 19th birthday in person. So, get changed and ready for a s**t day.” Slamming the door closed, I stare up at the ceiling. Since when did our dad give a s**t about our birthdays. I didn’t want him to come, I didn’t want to even see him. How was everyone so cool about it?

I picked up the phone from the bedside,

I can’t give your phone back to you today, sorry.

Same, I’m busy.

I switch of the phone, grabbing a spar towel from my cupboard before making my way towards the bathroom. I bang onto the door, hearing my brother swear at me. Why was he acting like a princess? “Get out Jake!”

“Enough!” We hear mum shout from downstairs. I continue banging on the door, and for a while, he finally steps out. I push past him, switching on the water. I wait for it to become hot before stepping inside the tub.

 I pull the curtain and begins deeply washing my hair. I love the hot water. I love washing. It's a meditation of sorts combined with a boost for my senses. Showers are my mood elevator, taking me higher.

But, when the water went cold, I felt like a mass murderer. Ready to kill that son of a b***h! “Jake! You finished all the hot water!” All that was responded was his chuckle, I shut the water and stepped out, drying my wet unwashed hair. I walk to my bedroom, changing in my usual clothes, oversized shirt and a pair of baggy joggers. I allow my hair to airdry before making my way downstairs.

I linger on the stairs for a little, hearing my father talking to my mother. I don’t want to see him, so if I could just sneak out. I slowly tip toe to the door, grabbing my skateboard. But with my butter fingers, it drops, creating a loud noise. My mother and father rush to the hallway. And that’s where I made contact with a dad I haven’t seen since I was eight.

“Cariño.” He whispers.

[Sweetheart.]

“Were you trying to leave?” My mother said, but I never answer as I see my father before me. His grey like hair infused with black, the same colour as my own. His blue striking eyes, the exact same as my own. His tanned skin. I can see why my mother thinks I look a lot like my father, I basically copied and pasted the man. But the only thing I didn’t copy. Was that damp heart of his?

He never came to a single birthday, he never even sent me a message. He never visited me; he never came to a single school play. He is no father to me. “No, I was visiting Luke.”

“No, you’re not, we are having breakfast together.”

“So, dad finally decides to show up, nine years later. What happened? Got bored of your second family?” I shot out.

“Sophia!” My mother interjects.

“You know we’ve been living on food stamps, whilst you own a million-dollar company.”

“Sophia, it isn’t like that-”

“Like what? Like how you never turned up to anything to do with me, I tried visiting you every day in that prison but you never showed. I was talking to an empty window. Father’s Day? My birthdays? What about Jakes birthday? What about Christians birthday? You never came and suddenly you come? What’s the catch dad?” I let out, not knowing the small drops of tears leaving my eyes, I quickly brushed them away, not wanting him to see my weak side. He lifts his head from the ground in shame, shame he should. “What’s the catch!” The door behind me opened, my eyes met up with Damon’s as he glanced down at me.

“Sophia! I don’t like the way you are talking to your father. He has done nothing but provide us.” I see Jake and my younger brother Christian by the stairs.

“Provide us? With what! Hatred, anger, sadness. You did nothing but ruin our life, I don’t even understand why you came back, just die.” I said, overflowing with tears. I push Damon away as I rush down the front porch, hearing my mother shouting at me in Spanish. I run down the road, rubbing the tears that left my eyes.