Golden Rule with a Twist

Tdoong's Concert

Catalina tried so hard not to be so affected. She tried to just shrug her shoulders. She tried to just forget about it but she can't. She tried not to think about it but she can’t, the scene kept playing in her mind even when she already closed her eyes. She tried so hard to divert her attention to other things. She bought galloons of ice creams, boxes of pizzas, buckets of chickens, and packs of jellies that she intended to eat while watching anime but nothing were effective. Sometimes she will catch herself staring blankly at the TV, thinking about that scene again, and then she will end up asking herself, what happened again? After almost 5 times of experiencing that, Catalina had decided to just turn off the TV because she’s just wasting electricity.

Catalina was more affected than she thought she was. She's always not in the mood to do anything, even in eating proper meals. All she ever does is just stare at the empty space and keep replaying the nightmare she witnessed over and over again. It's not like she wants to think about it, she just can't get it over her head. The said scene is hunting her dreams and forcing its self in her mind. The said scene is torturing her heart. The said scene is slowly killing her sanity.

Catalina didn't mention it to friends and up until now, they are thinking that the reason why Catalina's acting this way is that she got rejected. It's not like Catalina doesn't want her friends to know about it. She's just not in the mood, she will never be in the mood and she doesn't want those words, 'Blair initiated the kiss and pushed herself onto Jared' left her own lips if she will even manage to say those words without breaking into tears first. She knew that what she had seen is what exactly happened but it doesn't mean that she accepted it. It doesn't mean that she can just digest it. No, can never digest that scene.

Catalina avoided Blair but of course in a not so obvious way. Like when she noticed Blair first, she will turn her back on her so Blair won't see her. She won’t walk on her way so she won’t need to force herself in acknowledging Blair’s presence. She will always check the hallways before she strides her way there. She will always look around in case Blair is also there. But when she doesn't have any choice but to acknowledge Blair’s presence, she's just returning Blair's smile with a small one. If it's necessary, she will exchange a few words with her, but if it's not then she will immediately end the conversation by reasoning that she has to do something. It's not like it's been a week already since she witnessed that scene, it's just 3 days. Today is Monday and the concert that she's been dying to see will happen this coming Saturday but she no longer has the tickets, she returned them to her mom since she no longer wants to watch the concert. She even apologized to her mother because they are wrinkled. Her mother however didn’t become mad at the wrinkled tickets, she was more confused and curious about what happened but didn’t get to ask because her daughter immediately left her alone after returning them.

Catalina sighed and turned the page of the book she's reading though she really didn't understand the last chapter she just read. Her mind is not in the mood to process any signal that it’s receiving from her sensory senses. Catalina, reading a book is just an excuse, a front, so people won’t suspect her that something’s wrong with her. Despite not understanding anything, Catalina didn't close her book. She just continued reading the words printed on it without any intention of fully understanding them. She will just reread those chapters when she’s already in a better mood.

"What's with the sigh?"

Blair playfully asked, smiling sweetly at her before taking a seat at the monoblock chair next to Catalina.

Catalina is no longer shocked to see Blair in the library. After that Calculus scene, they happened to meet here often. At first of course Catalina is happy at that, it always sends a tingly feeling inside her. But now, she really doesn't want to see Blair, and instead of tingly feeling, what is being brought by seeing Blair is a pinch in her heart.

Catalina doesn't want to be obvious that she's not that happy to see Blair so she returned Blair's smile a little bit smaller than what she used to give to Blair before she even saw hell. When Blair took a seat beside her, Catalina felt their wrists grazing at each other so she slightly moved her wrists away from Blair.

"It's nothing big."

She replied then back her attention to the book again.

Blair suddenly felt awkwardness between them which never happened to them again since they had a 'date' with the two boys. Blair also felt a wall that was never been there, stopping her from taking a step closer to Catalina and she felt like it wasn’t a simple wall but the thickest one. The thought of Catalina avoiding her or being mad at her crossed her mind but she disregarded those thoughts. She thought that maybe Catalina is just tired, that there’s no reason for Catalina to avoid her or be mad, and that she should stop overthinking things.

Blair took a deep breath while staring at Catalina, busy reading a book. Her face is straight, it’s not holding any emotion which made Blair grew nervous. She looks completely different from the Catalina she knew, the Catalina she’s obsessed with.

"Ahm. Catalina, I happen to know that you like Tdoong (The author and her obsession with Twice). I heard they will have a concert this coming Saturday. Do you want to go together?"

Blair asked, looking intently at Catalina who still looks so grossed into reading. Blair looks so nervous. She’s been clenching and unclenching her jaw. She can’t even remember how many times she had gulped down to try to get rid of the nervousness that’s slowly eating her. This is the first time she ever asked someone to hang out alone with her and that someone is even Catalina so getting nervous is expected already.

Catalina didn't even flinch or feel any tingling sensation at the question. What she only felt is a pinch in her heart, remembering that the concert Blair's referring to is the same concert that she wants to go to with her but because of what she witnessed, she no longer wants to go. Catalina closed her book then looked back at Blair apologetically.

"Sorry, Blair I'm not free on Saturday. Maybe next time."

Blair nodded her head, can't help but let her disappointment be seen in her face. She really thought that she will finally get a real date with Catalina. She even imagined that day, what will happen that day countless times already and every time she will do that, she’s smiling like an i***t. That’s how excited she is but she guessed that not everything will really go on her way.

"Okay then let's just go next time."

Blair still offered a small smile to Catalina and Catalina only managed to nod then stood up from her seat.

"I need to go now, Blair. Let’s just talk again next time."

Catalina said then started walking towards the exit of the library without even letting Blair bid her goodbye.

Never ever Catalina had seen herself rejecting Blair. She actually felt bad rejecting her but what can she do? She really is not in the mood to go anywhere with her, talk with her or even catch a glimpse of her. She doesn't want to see her because every time she will, the image of Blair cupping Jared's face and kissing him hard is what keeps replaying in her mind. Instead of feeling fluttery at the sight of Blair, she’s feeling her heart being torn into pieces.

Catalina received a text from her best friend Suzy, saying that they are already in the cafeteria and just waiting for her to finally have lunch. Catalina is convinced that Suzy brought her bag already so she decided to go straight to the cafeteria. When she arrived at the cafeteria, her bag is really there already and the three bought lunch for her too.

"Mr. Kim is looking for you earlier."

Suzy said, referring to their Philosophy teacher, the last period before lunch that Catalina ditched and just went to the library.

Catalina didn't say anything and just started stuffing some pasta in her mouth, not bothered by the news. Suzy just sighed and didn't say anything too. She just started eating her food while shrugging her shoulders at her other best friends looking at her. 

In the middle of their lunch, Yves suddenly popped out beside her, carrying his tray food and smiling charmingly at Catalina.

"Ahm. Hello girls. Is it okay if I sit down for a moment here?"

Catalina didn't speak and leave the decision-making to her friends, she just keep on twirling her pasta and shoving them in her mouth.

Suzy is the one who answered and said "Sure". 

Hearing that, Yves immediately snatched some chair from a vacant table nearby and settled herself beside Catalina, who busied herself in eating.

Yves put down his tray and spare Catalina a glance. Feeling someone staring at her, she looked at Yves, raising one of her brows in confusion, not really in a mood to play the role of a kind and soft queen bee.

“Ahm. Sorry, Catalina if I interrupted your peaceful lunch.”

Yeah. You better be sorry.

“I just want to ask you something.”

“Spill.”

Catalina shortly replied then busied herself into twirling her pasta on her fork again, not really interested in whatever Yves maybe will say.

“Ahm. I got two tickets for Tdoong's concert this Saturday and I heard that you like Tdoong. So I’m just wondering if you want to check them out with me?”

Yves asked, nervous as always, not only to the fact that Catalina is the one who he’s asking for a date but also because her friends are here, listening to them. Yves actually is not confident to approach Catalina when she’s with her friends but he’s been trying to approach Catalina since last week but he never got the perfect chance so he decided to just go with it whether Catalina is alone or with someone else.

“Sure.”

Catalina said not really understanding what Yves just asked her. On the other hand, Yves is looking so happy with his widest grin, he can’t believe that he finally got a date with Catalina alone.

“Thank you, Catalina. I’ll just pick you up at your house on Saturday.”

Catalina just nods while lazy munching down her pasta.

“I’ll leave you alone for now. Bye Catalina, thank you again.”

Yves said and picked up his tray then stood up from his seat to leave. Catalina only mumbled “Yeah” still not sparing him a glance.

Feeling 3 pairs of eyes looking at her, Catalina looked up and saw her friends looking at her in disbelief.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

The three didn’t speak for a moment and just exchanged glances like they were exchanging opinions through gazes and asking who among them will mention that to Catalina. Then Hashmin decided to spill the issue for Catalina. 

“Well, you just agreed to a date with a guy which you never did before. We're just shocked and can't help but wonder if a rejection made you straight.”

“What? Why would I do that? And when did I ever did that?”

Catalina asked, her eyes slightly getting bigger with her arms crossed on top of the table.

“Just a few minutes ago. You agreed to Yves that you will go to Tdoong's concert this Saturday with him.”

Suzy said shrugging her shoulders.

“No f*****g way.”

“Yes, f*****g way. You said sure.”

Rein said bullshitting Catalina. Rein received a glare from Hashmin for being a b***h to their friend but Rein just shrugged her shoulders knowing that Catalina doesn’t care about that attitude, since Catalina is giving that attitude on her too. That attitude actually is what made them closer. 

Catalina leaned her back on the chair's backrest chewing her full lower lip after mumbling,

“f**k me.”