50 Days to His Heart

Day 21: Lorraine

I left Vianna's house and told her that I'd see Henry at Manila Hotel where he is currently attending a convention but in reality I went to the church where we had our wedding. I just wanted to have an alone time with the Lord and although I got my own room at Vianna's place, it's still different if you're inside the church. It felt like the Lord is hugging me and telling me that everything's under His control, it's just that I'm too blinded by my own insecurities.

I wanted to reminisce the happiness I felt when we exchanged our vows. I wanted to go back to that day when Henry read the sweetest poem that melted my heart. He looked at me as if it was just the two of us and I knew then, he is the man I'd spend my ever after with.

Hello to the most beautiful woman I've ever met

Finally, tonight we'll be sharing our bed

You don't know how much I wanted to touch you and make you mine

Listen to your heart beat against mine.

You are my rainbow in the sky

You are the answer to all my why's

You came into my life and made me new

I cannot imagine a life without you

Call me your daddy

Coz you'd always be my baby

I will hold your hand if ever you'd feel weary

And I promise to do everything that will make you happy

But please, please don't ever leave me.

I prayed for the Lord's grace to help me face one of my greatest fears, Henry's past. Yes, I've decided that the best way to heal my heart is to meet Eunice but I know I cannot do it on my own. I have to get the strength from the Lord. After this, I'd be free to love Henry without doubt, without questions.

***

I was ushered inside Lorraine's office and was surprised to see Henry's portrait near her table. Does she really think that Henry will choose her over me? Yes. Looking at Eunice now, I don't have a doubt that she will pass for a model and may land the front page of a magazine but Henry is mine and I'm making a stand today.

"Oh? Lorraine right? I don't remember setting an appointment with you, but since you're here, sit down."

"Thank you."

"How do you like Henry's portrait? That's not the only one I've got. Look at these. Don't we look lovely here?"

Eunice went near the cabinet were she placed different pictures of her and Henry. There are some pictures that really looked old, they are even wearing their college uniforms and the other pictures are those that were sent to me inside the envelope.

This woman really knows how to provoke someone but I'm not going down to her level. 'Lord, help me.'

"My husband looks handsome as always. But it seems like he is more handsome in our wedding picture."

"Wow, you still think that he is your husband? Unbelievable. You know very well that your marriage is void and you fooled him!!!"

I saw in Eunice's eyes anger and it seemed like she wanted to see me die before her eyes. She wanted to bury me alive.

Our marriage might be void because I was 17 but what we felt is real.

I wanted to answer back, curse her, tell her to go to hell, but I was able to withstand everything. The Lord has opened my eyes. I am not seeing an enemy anymore but someone who needs help, who longs to be loved, someone who needs healing of her heart.

"Eunice, I'm---- im... sorry."

"What?"

"I'm sorry for taking Henry from you. I know how much you love him, but please let him go. You know that he chose me."

"What are you talking about?!"

"Henry has loved you too. You know that but I came into his life and... And that has changed everything."

"Stop Lorraine. Stop it! I will have him back."

"Eunice, the more that you hang into something that's not yours, the more that it would be hard for you to move on, the more that you will up suffer, the more that you will feel the pain."

"Can you just stop telling me what to do?!"

"Eunice, God has a better plan for your life and you don't see it because you're holding into something that's not yours."

"Who the hell are you Lorraine to tell me of God's plan? Just leave me alone."

"Eunice if there's no one who listens to you, I can. You can cry on me. Treat me as your sister."

I don't know what has gotten to me but I know it's the Holy Spirit that's taking control now. I went close to Eunice and hugged her, she didn't resist, and before I knew it, she started crying.

"Lorraine, it's all my fault. I've chased for my dreams and left Henry. I thought he'd wait for me but he didn't. I didn't listen to him when he told me to stay. I am so self-centered."

"Eunice."

"Now I know why he loves you so much. Why despite of everything that I've done, he never gave in to me. He offered me marriage after the annulment but I knew then that he only said that because he was so mad at you. You are different Lorraine, for more different than me."

"Eunice."

"Lorraine, I'm sorry. I know I've caused you pain."

"I have forgiven you Eunice."

"Lorraine will there ever be someone who'd love me?"

"Eunice, God has better plans for you that perhaps include a guy you'd marry."

"Really? Does Henry have a twin brother?"

"Huh? Ahmm.."

Eunice started laughing and I laughed too.

"Just kidding Lorraine. Maybe I'll just leave the country and move on. Just tell Henry I'm sorry too."

"I will Eunice."

"Thank you. Do you have an email address so we can get in touch?"

"Let me write it down."

"Thank you Lorraine. I really don't know where to start but I will trust you. God has better plans for me."

"He has Eunice."

I looked at Eunice and I saw in her eyes her sincerity. I am happy that we both have found peace, something that only God can give.