Fiction
Straight to
Voicemailby Gregory Farnum
I’m one of America’s returning heroes. I got a letter in front of me that tells me so. It’s signed by the boss of the county, a fat old Republican who through the years has become powerful enough to pass out praise and favors… and, in my case, coupons… like the ones I’m looking at right now, the one that gives me an almost free dinner at Chili’s (read the fine print). A pretty good dinner too, one that I’m just finishing up as I quickly make my way through the other coupons in my Welcome Hero letter. Apart for the ones for Burger King and an oil change, these coupons aren’t much use to me—coupons for money off ski outfits and s**t like that. I figure all these things out quickly. I’m good at figuring things out. I’m a private eye.
Seriousl
