Altered

Hope

I am under the tree in Sadmir's back yard, and this time I am by myself. I take a moment just to check in with myself and all the things around me. The wind blows softly on my skin, cooling the sweat the heat from the sun produces. I have been doing nothing but resting and meditating for the past few days. Adbay has been showing me how to balance my chakras through meditation, and it's like recharging my battery. Which I needed badly. Now that I know how I could feel open, balanced, and connected to the world like this, I can't imagine ever wanting to break from it.

I take a deep breath, and I can taste the air on the back of my throat, its sweet taste quenching my parched throat. When I open my eyes, everything is much brighter, almost unreal, and I have to remind myself that this is who I am now. I am more than what I made myself believe. I am a queen who needs to save her people. I need to free them from Vipin and take care of them. Show them our true way of life before more generations of my people are cursed with this life. I cannot let that happen.

I take one last final look around before closing my eyes once more and relaxing my body. I think of all the people of Manipura and my goal to reach as many of them as possible. This is not only a ploy to bring Sanjay here, but once word spreads that magic is coming back to our people, there will be a manhunt for me. My people will gain hope, and Vipin will retaliate. Many things could go wrong, but if we win Sanjay over, if I can make him doubt, we have an even better chance at defeating Vipin, and another one of my mates will be home and whole.

I force myself to focus on the pain I felt when I remembered my parent's deaths. How much it hurt, how much it still hurts, and I lean into it. I open myself up to feel that pain, and my power once more rises in my chest. I hold on to that pain and push it out, forcing it to take root within me, and my power pushes out and starts to seek. I am shocked by how easy it seems to be now that I am balanced, and when my magic touches the first person, I feel it. I know where they are in this world as an invisible line in my mind's eye connects us. My magic touches more people, and I begin to cry as I give hope to so many. I long to them I am here, and I am fighting.

I push my magic out, further determined to reach as many people as possible. I have lost count after five hundred, and my body starts to sway from exertion. I begin to pull my magic back slowly. If I did this right, the people I touched should have magic for up to three days. That's all I can produce right now, and as I get stronger, I will be able to hold that magic out and stay balanced at the same time all the time.

Once I have my magic pulled back within me, I hear a huge commotion. I snap back into myself and open my eyes. Something is happening in the town square. My people must have felt my magic and now rejoice. At least, that is what I think is happening. Adbay and Sadmir come rushing up to me from the house, and both grab my hands.

"You did it, the people are in the streets using magic. The Vipers don't know what to do there are just too many of them. How many people did you reach?"

Adbay's voice is full of excitement, and I can tell he is so proud of me.

"I don't know. I lost count somewhere around five hundred. I could not hold it for long."

"That's alright you reached enough people and held it for longer than you needed to. Who knows maybe they will have magic for longer."

Adbay lets go of my hand and grab both sides of my face before bringing his lips down on mine. I lean into him and take in his scent as he wraps his arms around me. I feel Sadmir put his hands on my hips, and I break the kiss with Adbay and turn my head to meet Sadmir's lips. He bites my lip, and I moan into his mouth. I open my mouth wide, and he dives his tongue into my depth, deepening the kiss.

"Sadmir! Adbay! Amita! Get in here quick!"

Dafnae yells from the back porch breaking us out of our trance. Both my mates pull away from me and take back my hands as we walk back toward the house. When we get inside, everyone is home and gathered in the kitchen. Everyone is all talking at once; I can't make out what is going on.

"A curfew has been put in place." Jarl begins.

"No one is to leave their homes unless for essential reasons. Everyone needs to be in their homes by six until further notice."

"Why" I have to ask. I believe I know the answer already, but I need Jarl to confirm it.

"Because a mass of Vin people suddenly have magic again. Vipers are in an uproar and wanted to detain any slaves that have magic but once they realized that it was hundreds already they put the curfew in place. No mingling. Work and then back home. Not only that but rumors of a returned queen are going around."

I knew it. I reached my people, and now they know they have a queen coming for them. How far can the rumors travel? Will they reach the other city-states? In all honesty, I do not know, but I can hope that the stories of the return of a queen reach as many ears as possible.

For the next few days, the streets of Manipura are filled with whispers of a returned queen. A new excitement is in the air, and for once, it is good news for the Vin people. Signs are littered everywhere warning about the new curfew that all slaves must follow. The curfew set in place makes it hard for anyone to really see each other because, during the day, people are busy with their jobs. I guess this is Vipin's way of making sure we keep limited contact with one another so we can't form plans. It's a smart move but pointless because I have all that I need…for now.

My mind is focused on Sanjay and his arrival in Manipura. Manipura is an enormous city-state, but I am in the heart of it. I am surrounded by the majority of slaves with magic. There is no way he won't come here, but I don't know how long he will be here, so we have to move fast.

My mates and I have been holed up in Sadmir's house for weeks now, and I am starting to get antsy. I miss my home and my parents. I forget how simple my life used to be, but I cannot say I wish to go back. I was nothing, less than nothing. I had no one other than my parents and nothing to live for. Now I have men who love me and people to fight and live for. I no longer have to live my life for me, for my next breath but for a whole nation. I have a reason to live, and I plan on living for a very long time. I find myself wanting things I never seemed to care about, and I see a future where I can be happy and loved. I just have to fight for it first, and fight, I will.

I walk the market alone today for the first time. Adbay lets me out of his sight, but only because I visit Sadmir at his family's shop. Only because I am going from one mate to another. I love that he worries about me. It makes me feel his love more intensely. Adbay is always touching me and making sure I am taken care of, and I love him for it. Adbay is my heart, quite literately. Adbay is my heart chakra mate. It never feels like work with him. We ebb and flow so well it's hardly a struggle, but I realize that just won't be the case with all my mates.

With Sadmir, it's hard for me to look him in the eyes, let alone open myself up to him. My want and need for him are strong, but I can't say our relationship is smooth. Sadmir is my Solar Plexus chakra mate. He ties in with my identity and personal power. For so long, I hated myself for not knowing who I was and not having the ability within myself to go find out no wonder I hide from Sadmir. I hide from myself.

When my relationship with Sadmir is balanced, I will find my strength, courage, willpower, and self-esteem, all elements I never had before. It scares me, I am learning who I truly am, and it feels like I am shedding skin slowly. Like I never really knew myself at all, it's a terrifying feeling learning about yourself anew.

So lost in thought, I make it to Samir's family shop before I know it. It is a quaint little store called "Anything and all" because they sell a little bit of everything. They have three shops total, which is why I never really see the family. They are plenty busy.

I look through the open window and spot my mate helping an old woman at the counter. I walk up to the door, and just as I am about to open it, the ground starts to tremble and shake. The market goes quiet as everyone looks around, trying to spot the disturbance. Sadmir comes pushing through the door and is at my side the next minute when enormous striders round the corner and come charging down the strip. People start screaming and pushing each other, trying to not get trampled by the warhorses coming their way.

Pressure builds at the base of my spine, and at first, I think it is because of Sadmir, but then my eyes lock on the leader of the guard, and my heart stops. The pressure at the base of my spine is not for Sadmir but for the guard's leader. It's for Sanjay. Sadmir quickly steps in front of me, trying to shield me from Sanjay and the six other men charging down the street. I stand on the tips of my toes and peak over Sadmir's shoulder, trying to get another glance at Sanjay but he is not having it. I know why and it is not wise of me to reveal myself now, but I want to see him. I need to know that he is alright and well.

As they get closer to the shop, the people on the street have no choice but to step to the side and out of the way, which does an even better job at hiding me than just Sadmir alone. As the striders ride by the shop, the horse hooves pounding the ground sound like thunder shaking the ground so hard I feel it in my body.

Sanjay and his guard ride past us at last and spare not a glance our way or anyone else for that matter. They ride through the market, headed to the barracks where all the Viper soldiers reside.

Fear. I feel fear, and I'm not quite sure why. This is part of the plan. We wanted to bring him here. But the reality is Sanjay is here to try and kill me. This plan could go horribly wrong and result in my early death, and I'll never accomplish what I was born to do. My people will remain slaves for the end of time.

Where are my strength and courage now when I need them? And at that moment, Sadmir places his hand on my shoulder and turns me to him.

"It's right here within me you only have to seek it."

I must have projected my thoughts out loud, and Sadmir heard them. When am I going to learn? Through my mates, I will find myself. I keep wondering when my so call courage and strength would show up, and they have. They have been standing in front of me for weeks, and I just could not see it. I could have been nurturing them and making them more robust all this time, but instead, I have been too afraid, and I kept pushing Sadmir away.

I lean forward and stand on the tips of my toes and lock my lips with Samir's. His arms come around my waist, and I press my body into him as he steals a moan from my mouth. He breaks our kiss and starts walking back toward the shop, but before he gets too far away from me, he grabs my hand and starts to pull me with him, and I follow his lead.

I'm done fighting against the current. What has it gotten me anyway? It's time I try something new and stop fighting the enviable. Sadmir was made for me, and there is nothing to be afraid of.

When Sadmir and I are safely back in the shop, he gathers me into his arm and holds me tight. Once he has had his fill, and pulls away from me only to lean down and grab my shoulders.

"So that was Sanjay and his guard huh?"

He smirks in a way that tilts one side of his mouth up. I nod my head, not ready to hear my own voice yet. Sadmir mimics my movement before dropping his hands and taking a few steps back.

"We should get back to the house and let Adbay and my family know that he has arrived if they haven't found out already."

"Alright but we will have to keep our eyes open for Sanjay. We can't let him see me or else all is lost."

"We will not lose Amita. You were made for this and you will set us all free. Believe in yourself as I and Adbay do."

"You didn't know the pathetic piece of waste I was before all of this happened. Its hard to see myself as a different person."

"Don't talk about yourself like that. Even if it were true you are no longer that person. See yourself as who you want to be and make it happen Amita. You have the power."

Hearing Sadmir say these things feels like I am talking to myself, and the words seem to register for the first time. I know what I was before everything changed, and I am not proud of that person. Still, I have a rare opportunity to change myself for the better and for everyone, and that's precisely what I am going to do.