Hours after Sanjay arrives in Manipura, the slave bell is rung signally for all the slaves to gather in the square for announcements. My heart beats fast with trepidation and for the unknown. It seems Sanjay is wasting no time in his search for me, and butterflies fill my belly. At least he is looking for me in some form or another. Maybe not for the right reasons, but it's something for now.
Adbay and I agree to stay behind because technically, we are not slaves anymore, and we are not from here, so no one would miss us if we didn't show up. There is also a strong chance Sanjay will be there as well, and we have no idea what they plan, and our plan is not to reveal me until the time is right.
I have been pacing in the living room since the moment I could no longer see Sadmir through the window. I have been sick worrying about him. What if he does not come back? What if something happens and they take him from me?
"Amita. Please sit down and stop worrying. Sadmir will be fine."
I look over at Adbay, and I want to believe his words, but Sadmir has been out of my sight for longer than I feel comfortable with. The front door opens, and Sadmir walks through with his family, and I rush to his arms and kiss him long and deep, not caring that his whole family is around us. It has been over an hour, and anything could have happened to him.
Sadmir pulls away from me and leans his forehead on mine before he tells me he missed me too. We break apart and join everyone in the living room. Jarl gives me a wink when I sit down, and my face heats up. He is proud of his son. He loves that I love his son, and he understands the dynamic of our relationship and the role that Sadmir plays. At least that's the feeling I am getting off of him.
Once everyone is seated, Jarl leans forward and claps his hands together. He has taken the lead for many of our discussions, and I know it is a relief for Adbay. Adbay is only one man, and I look to him for advice, among other things. I expect him to have the answers to all my questions, but the fact of the matter is he does not have all the answers. He is a victim in this as much as I am. He was just a little boy when all of this started.
Jarl looks at me and gives me a sad smile.
"I think they may know who you are. They had a list of missing slaves and you were on it. You and six others. Now thats not a lot of other options and if they somehow find all the other slaves and they prove not to be the queen they will have confirmed its you."
"How did my name end up on that list?"
"I'm not sure they didn't say how they got the information but they have it nonetheless. There are also to be investigation the next couple of days. Slaves will be called in for questioning and the curfew is still in place. Anyone caught outside their homes after six will be killed at dawn the next morning."
"Okay well we know Sanjay will be here for a few days so thats good." Adbay interjects. Jarl nods his head in agreement before looking back at me.
"Do you know how you are going to get to him?"
"Yes and no. I've never done anything like this before."
"If you don't think you can pull this off tell us now so we can come up with a new plan." I think long and hard about it, and everyone in the room gives me the time I need. Could I really seduce him? What if he is too harden of a man to be fool by womanly wonders? A lot of things could go wrong, and I believe that is the reason for my hesitation. My mates will be there keeping a close eye on me, and if we do this correctly, Sanjay will be alone, and his guard will be somewhere else. Besides, I want alone time with him. For however long we will have, I want to know him.
"I can do this." I tell Jarl and the room.
"I know you can." Dafnae says, and warmth fills my belly.
Already this lovely couple has made me feel like their daughter and lessen the pain of losing my parents.
"When do we do this?"
"As soon as possible. Tomorrow?" Sadmir suggests, and when no one protests, he nods his head.
"Alright then lets go over the plan some more and prepare for tomorrow."
I slept very poorly last night. I feel a little sluggish, and I hope it will wear off as the day goes on. Breakfast is prepared and laid out on the table like every morning, and I know I should eat, but my stomach feels too sick for me to hold down food. Still, I grab a muffin and nibble on it, trying to get something in my stomach. I stand leaning against the door while everyone else is at the table, too busy eating to make conversation.
My mind wonders for a while before landing back on Sanjay. I want to know his smell; I want to know his taste. I want to replace every terrible memory he has with one of me loving him and loving his body. I need to remake him and mold him into the person he was always meant to be. Gaining his trust will be the most challenging part. I can imagine he does not trust many. I know I didn't trust anyone, but my parents and my life were nothing like Sanjay's.
I am brought back to the moment when Adbay stands up from the dinner table and walks into the kitchen. I follow behind him, and when I enter the kitchen, his back to me. I walk up to him and wrap my arms around his waist and lay my head on his back. He covers my hands with his and leans his head back, and he lets me hold him. He knows exactly what I need, and he gives it to me every time. He is my heart forever and always.
"Are you alright Amita?"
I nod my head into his back, and he chuckles lightly.
"You will not be doing this alone, you know this. Remember the plan."
"I know but what if he does not listen?"
"Then we try again."
Adbay's optimism is endearing, but I still can't help but doubt and think of the worse outcome. I can't stop obsessing over every little thing. It feels like my head will explode, and when I reach that point, I seek out Adbay. I feel Sadmir's presence by the door, and I turn my head to acknowledge him. He never lets me out of his sight for too long, either. It's almost comical how compassionate these men are.
Sadmir breaks the silence, letting us know it's time to go. I hang onto Adbay a moment longer before finally releasing him, and we head back out of the kitchen to meet with everyone else. Nothing is said as one by one we leave the house. Everyone is going to their respected duties except for Adbay and me. We follow Sadmir to the shop in the middle of the market.
The night Sanjay rang the slave bell, he was smoking a pipe. Jarl recognized the smell as rare tobacco, and as luck would have it, his was the only shop for miles that sold it due to its rarity. Sanjay just got here from a long trip. He will need to stock up, and I will be here for him to see when he does. Until then I wait in the shop with Adbay and Sadmir. Sadmir goes about his regular duties, and whenever a customer comes in, we act like we are a customer.
My guard starts to slip as minutes turn to hours and still no Sanjay. I am anxious to meet him, and I grow tired of waiting. When I can no longer hide my disappointment, I retreat to the shop corner and take a seat. I sit there until my butt has gone numb when suddenly the pressure in my lower back builds. The shop door slams open and Sanjay comes storming in looking very angry and out of sorts.
He stops just inside the door and takes a look around, and when his eyes land on mine, he does not move, and neither do I. My breathing slows as I watch him watching me. He turns his body and starts to walk to me. I stand on stiff legs and a numb behind to meet him. When he reaches me, his eyes sweep over my body, and I let him take his fill. I can feel Sadmir and Adbay watch from a distance, and I know I am not alone.
I step to the side to move out of his way, but he catches my arm and scrunches up his eyebrows in confusion.
"Where are you going?" he asks, and his voice is like velvet.
I sway a little, and he rights me before I respond.
"I must be in your way sir. I apologize and I am moving."
"No."
"No? Sir?"
"No, I mean you are not in my way you do not have to leave."
His eyes land on his hand on my arm, and he pulls it away as if he were burned. Again he looks at me confused, and I wish I could tell him, but I have to let him feel this. I wish I could tell him that I am different. That what he feels is real. When he drops his arm, he makes no attempt to move away from me.
"Can I help you sir?"
"Yes, who are you?"
Even though I have prepared for this and all the questions he could possibly ask, nothing could have prepared me to actually meet him. I was drawn in almost immediately, and when he grabbed my arm, I felt his magic mingle with mine.
"Ranatta." I tell him just like I practiced.
"Ra-nat-ta. Ranatta. It is a beautiful name."
"Thank you sir."
He nods his head but says nothing else as he stares at me, and I stare back until finally, I laugh, and he laughs with me. He is not the man I saw before. He looks healthy and well put together. His cheeks are full and round, no longer sunken in or hollow. What happened to him from the last time I saw him? Whatever it is, I am glad it seems to have a positive effect on him.
"May I know your name sir?" I boldly ask.
"Sanjay, my name is Sanjay were you not in the square the other night?"
Oh no, I miss spoke.
"Of course I am just so short I could not see your face."
"Yes." He arches an eyebrow. "You are quite small."
I agree with him, and we fall silent once more but a comfortable one.
He angles his head for me to follow him, and we start walking down the aisles together. He places his hands behind his back as we stroll, our magic mingling the whole time. I doubt he even realizes it happening.
He places items in his bag, and when he is finished, we make our way to the front counter, where he gets his rare tobacco. Sadmir takes care of his things, Sanjay pays before turning back to me.
"I know this may sound sudden and well out of the ordinary but do you mind meeting me tomorrow? I would like to show you something."
"What is it you want to show me?"
"Its a surprise."
"A surprise? For me? You hardly know me why would you want to gift me with something?"
"Because you make me feel."
His eyes widen in shock at his words, and before he can change his mind or cover it up, I agree to meet him on the edge of town at noon tomorrow. He gives me a small smile and nods before departing the shop. When the door closes, and I am sure Sanjay is out of hearing range, I let out a huge sigh and collapse against the counter.