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My stomach has been in knots for hours now, and it has only been made worse since I have reached the edge of town to wait for Sanjay. I decided to walk within the forest that borders the city to give us the most privacy. I wanted to get here with plenty of time to prepare myself. There are so many ways things could go wrong, and my mind makes me forget none of them. Especially since I made Adbay and Sadmir stay behind. It took a lot of convincing, but I made them promise to do this. I need to be with Sanjay alone so I can focus on him and not be distracted. Pressure starts to build at the base of my spine, and I turn my head to see if I can spot Sanjay, but he is nowhere my eyes can see. I hear a twig snap in the distance, and shortly after, I feel Sanjay's presence. A shiver runs through my body, and I fight to control myself, and I fight to stay focused. "Ranatta." My heart beats fast and hard in my chest as I turn to face him. He is so beautiful. All I want to do is take him into my arms and show him how much he is loved. Knowing he is mine and not being able to have him is torture, and he is mine, and I should be able to have him. "Sanjay! Hi. You found me." "Yes, at first I thought maybe I arrive before you but then somehow I just knew you were here." I bite my tongue to hold my reply. Our connection is so strong already, and every fiber of my being wants me near him, but I know he is not ready. He takes a step toward me, and for the first time, I stand firm. Of course, he notices, and like a true predator, he advances once more, testing my boundaries. My legs begin to shake, and it is as if I am under his spell. I no longer have the option to move away simply because I don't want to, and I don't think he wants me to either. When he is toe to toe with me, he takes a deep breath, and I shudder. "I have met no one Ranatta that smells quite like you." "I can say the same about you sir." "Sanjay, Ranatta. Call me Sanjay." "Sanjay." When his name leaves my lips, his eyes flutter close, and he takes another deep breath before taking a step back. I stay silent, giving him the time he needs to settle. I know he is at war with himself, and I need him to see and feel everything so there can be little room for doubt when the truth comes out. I cannot help him in this, and it kills me. "Take a walk with me?" Sanjay has turned his focus back on me and seems to be doing okay with how things are going for now, but I can see that he is curious about me. He starts walking deeper into the forest, and I feel compelled to follow him. I fight hard not to get trapped in him, but it is difficult. Knowing that I have to take this slow and the uncertainty of the outcome is going around in my head is exhausting. I redirect my attention to whatever is in front of me, which happens to be Sanjay. On his feet are heavy black boots that flatten the ground he walks on. His black riding trousers are tucked into his boots and form around his legs leaves very little slack. A black vest covers his shoulders and torso, leaving his arms free. He is lean with muscle in all the right places. When I feel my body heat up, I quicken my step to match Sanjay until we walk side by side. A smirk appears on his face, and I can't stop myself. I need to know what amuses him. "Am I funny?" "No. Well yes actually you are. Most slaves would never dare to walk at my side. I'm not sure I would even allow it until this moment." "Will you allow is then?" He stops walking and looks out in front of us, and I follow his gaze to the small lake that sits within this forest. When I look back at Sanjay, he is already looking at me and smiling. "Well then Sanjay? Will you allow it?" "Yes." My smile grows wider, and it's like he can't handle it and looks away before he starts walking again. I match his step once more until we reach the lake, and we take a seat. "Why did you bring me here Sanjay?" "I'm not sure." "Can we make a deal?" "Sure." "Let us not lie to one another." His jaw tenses, and his eyes narrow before he nods in agreement. "Why did you bring me here?" "Because you lied to me." There are several things I have lied to him about, and I am genuinely curious as to which one he is referring to. "Could you be more specific?" "Your name. It's not Ranatta. There is no slave listed under the name Ranatta in this city." My body instantly turns from hot to cold, realizing I have no reply. What do I tell him? Does he want the truth? Can he handle it? "I lied because I am not from Manipura. My home is Anahata." He nods his head, digesting this information. I have to be careful with what I tell him because now I know for a fact he is an intelligent man. He is listening and remembering everything that comes out of my mouth as I am doing with him. We are eating each other up, and it is making me ache in the most delicious of ways. "Did you tell me your real name?" "No." "Will you now?" "No." "Why?" "Because I am afraid." Sanjay's eyes close as a gust of hair leaves his body. His jaw clenches over and over again, and I am afraid I have upset him somehow. "You were not afraid a few moments ago." "No I wasn't." "Then what has changed?" I stand quickly, my heart beginning to pick up its pace. I was foolish to come here alone, and I should have let Adbay and Sadmir come here with me. I take a step back, and Sanjay is on his feet the next minute which only makes me back up more. "What has changed?" I shake my head as I continue to walk backward away from him, but he now follows me. "What has changed?" He asks again. "Everything!" I turn to run, but he grabs hold of my hand as sparks shoot up my arm and travel to my forehead. I feel Sanjay's arms lock around me as I hear both of us groan. I squeeze my eyes shut as a bright indigo light forms in my mind. I hold onto Sanjay as a vision of us making love enters my mind. All is silent, and I wonder if Sanjay can see it too. His arms loosen from around me, and I hear him. I hear his thoughts as he tries to explain to himself what he thinks is happening. I step forward and turn around, and his eyes meet mine and narrow. I try to step toward him, but he backs up, not willing to be near me. I feel his confusion, but still, it hurts me. "What is happening? Who is you?" I hear him whisper in his mind, and I take a chance and answer him. He needs to know we are connected. "I am your mate Sanjay." His eyes widen when he hears my voice in his head, but his feet stay planted where he stands, so I continue. "You were chosen by the Great Mother to be my mate." "What does that even mean? Who are you?" "I am who you seek. I am the queen you are here to kill." "You are Kali's daughter?" "Your mate." "YOU ARE NOT MY MATE! I HAVE NO MATE! I AM NOT WORTHY OF A MATE!" "You are worthy of so much more than what Vipin has made you believe." "I have dreamed of you." "I know. I have dreamed of you too." "But its too late." "GUARDS!" Sanjay yells, breaking our mind link. I look to the forest and watch as Sanjay's men come out from behind the trees at his back. "I'm sorry." Sanjay says, bringing my attention back to him. "How could you do this?" "This is who I am. This is all I know." "Please." Sanjay looks at me but then averts his eyes to something behind me. I turn around and see Adbay and Sadmir running toward me from the edge of the forest. Sanjay wraps his arms around me and starts pulling me backward towards his guard. I kick and punch at his arms, trying to get away, but he is too strong. "I'm not going to hurt you. I can't now but I also can't let you go either." Sanjay doubles his efforts as I dig my heels into the ground, and when that does not work, I start kicking at his legs. I make contact with his shin, but it just slows him down until a fireball goes flying by both our heads, and we freeze. The outline of the forest is lined with Vin men at the ready, clearly outnumbering Sanjay and his guard. One man steps forward far enough so that everyone can see, and when he is sure to have Sanjay's attention, he cups his hand around his mouth. "Let her go and we will let you walk away!" From the corner of my eye, I can see Adbay and Sadmir making progress, trying to get to me, taking full advantage of the fact that Sanjay's attention is on the man in the forest with his small army. On instinct, I grab Sanjay's arm, afraid someone might hurt him. "Please Sanjay let me go. If something were to happen to you it would kill me." "Don't say that. You don't mean it. I am nothing to you." "You are everything to me." "AHHH!" Sanjay screams and throws me on the ground a few feet away from him. "You are nothing to me and I am nothing to you. Go now before I change my mind but know this Ranantta or whatever your name is the next we meet I will end this." Sanjay turns from me and heads towards his guard, and my heart shatters. He takes a huge piece of me with him, and I can't just let him go. I get to my feet, ready to go after him, but strong arms wrap around my waist and pull me backward. "Sanjay please! Wait! No! You are mine!" Sanjay looks at me with so much anger it burns in my chest. "Why would I leave one master for another?" I'm taken back by his words. Of course, he would think I want to own him, and I all but said so. I have failed. Sanjay will not leave with me now, and he won't believe a word I say. I stop fighting the arms that are trying to pull me back. Everything is dulled and blurred out except Sanjay. I feel defeated as he watches me be pulled back into the tree line. Hands roam my body, checking for wounds. I hear voices, but I can't focus on them. All I can do is breathe as I am placed on a horse, and strong arms find their way around me again. I lean my body back, feeling a solid chest, and a moment later, I smell Adbay, and I know it's him who holds me. My heart holds me as I shatter, and I welcome the pain as tears roll down my face. By the time we get back to Sadmir's home, I am worn out. Sadmir is at my side in a flash, helping me down from the horse, and brings me into his chest to carry me inside. He sets me down in a chair in the kitchen and leaves me to get a glass of water. Everyone files into the kitchen, and I can't bring myself to look at anyone. No one says a word, and the silence alone suffocates me. I feel a scream bubble up inside me until someone storms through the front door. Pressure builds at the base of my spine, and my heart picks up as I begin to ache between my legs. It's the last thing I need right now. My head is a mess, and my heart just took a massive hit. How can arousal be the next emotion I feel? Heavy footsteps make their way through the house until they enter the kitchen, and a man enters the room as my wetness trickles down my legs. An orange glow fills the room, and I know at that moment another one of my mates has shown up. I slowly lift my head, and when my eyes meet his, another piece of me falls into place. "Do you know me?" He asks, and I feel the power of his voice flow through me. "Yes, I know you." He walks further into the room until he is standing in the center of the room, demanding everyone's attention. "My name is Sai and I have come from the now free city-state of Svadhisthana. I too am a mate of the future queen. My men and I have made sure Vipin's guard left the city without alerting the barracks but we can't stay here. We must get to Svadhisthana." "What do you mean the now free city-state?" I ask, needing him to further explain. "The Great Mother called to me and another named Hadeem. Both of our father's were generals to Queen Kali. I started to receive visions from the Great Mother some time ago. She wanted us ready for when you were strong enough to send us power to over throw the Vipin's people that ruled over or city-states. Hadeem and I worked together to free Savadhisthana and Muladahara." "You and another one of my mates freed two city-states?" "Yes and we have troops as well. I brought three hundred men with me. Most of them are outside the city but there is still a chance someone might see them and we don't want to start a war right now. We don't have enough men to over take the city. We must leave soon." "How soon?" "By morning." I look around the room, searching for Adbay. When I find him, he is already planning with Sadmir and Jarl. When I turn back to Sai, his face shows his annoyance, but I don't know at what, and I am too tired to figure it out at this moment. My body is worn out, and if we are to travel in the morning, I better get some sleep. I stand from the chair and make my way to the room I have been sleeping in. I feel Sai's eyes on me as I walk away. I know he is not pleased with me, and if I had the energy, I would find out why but I can't right now. I have lost Sanjay, and I have failed. I reach the room and kick off my shoes, and lay down on the bed. I close my eyes and empty my mind until sleep finds me. I am back at the lake with Sanjay. We sit together with our fingers interlocked, looking out at the water, and Sanjay sighs long and hard. "Whats wrong?" "I just wish it could be like this." "It can if you join me. We are meant to be together." Sanjay shakes his head and laughs lightly. "You are so stubborn. Vipin owns me, and I am meant to be with no one. "No one can own a person. Everyone is free." "I can't help you." Sanjay stands up and begins to walk away. I hurry to follow him, not willing to give up. Our minds have connected again for a reason. I have another chance, and I will not waste it. "You are a coward Sanjay." He stops walking and turns back to me. I don't understand the expression on his face, and I cannot tell if he is upset or amused or worse. "How am I a coward?" "I know you feel me in you because I feel you in me. I know the Great Mother has spoken to you. I know that you want me as much as I want you and you deny it out of fear of Vipin." He shakes his head and slowly starts to laugh until it turns into an ugly chuckle. He is mocking me, and I don't like it. "I know what I feel for you and it is not what you think. I feel what a man feels for any women he is attracted to and nothing more. I do not fear Vipin. I would have to have something of value in life for him to take for me to fear him. I told you before, Vipin owns me and I will serve until I am killed that is my purpose in this life. That is why I was born." "What do you mean Sanjay?" "I am Vipin's son. I was born to fight for him. That is my purpose." The truth of Sanjay's words hit me hard. He is not only the leader of Vipin's guard, but he is his son. Everything is stacked against us, and how am I supposed to convince him that he has a different path in life? A sharp, piercing pain spreads through the left side of my chest, and when I look down, my blood starts to soak my shirt. "Ranatta! Whats happening What's wrong?" "Amita." I whisper. "What?" "My name. It's Amita." I am thrown awake by my own scream as a figure above me twists a blade in my chest. My bedroom door bursts open, and a second later, the figure above me is thrown off and replaced with Sadmir. My eyes begin to flutter close, and I am starting to feel sleepy again. "Amita! No open your eyes. You need to stay awake." "Ugh I am so tired Sadmir." "I know baby I know but you need to stay awake for me." I force my eyes open as a light turns on, and my head rolls to the side. I see Sai holding down a man dressed in all black. He holds a knife to his neck, but his eyes are on me, and he looks worried. I look down at my chest, I see a knife is lodged in it, and my eyes roll to the back of my head, and darkness takes over me. "Amita. Can you hear me?" I open my eyes and smile as I see Sanjay again. "What happen? You were fine one minute and then the next you were covered in blood." "I was attacked by someone in your guard. I am injured pretty bad. There is a knife in my chest." "Will you live?" "I'm not sure, the wound is deep." "What can I do? Tell me what to do?" "You are my mate Sanjay, you can unlock my chakra and it will make me stronger. Maybe strong enough to heal myself of this wound or to hang on a little longer." "What do we do?" "I'm not sure. Adbay says we have to form some kind of connection of intimacy." Sanjay's face scrunches up, and he turns from me. He takes a deep breath, and I watch his shoulders relax as he collects himself. "Of course it would be something I am no good at." "There is no good or bad here. Tell me your fear, tell me your wants. Reveal a secret or wish that you have or just look at me Sanjay. Hold me. Admit you feel the connection between us." "You ask for things I cannot give you." "I only ask that you give what you can. Some time ago I was afraid to want, afraid to ask but I am not anymore. I know you are mine Sanjay and I will do anything to prove it." He shakes his head and chuckles lightly. "I've never had anyone, let alone a woman fight for me. It is a strange feeling." "Do you like?" "Yes." A small truth but a truth non the less so it is progress. It's something for me to hold on to. Something for me to stand on, a tiny spark of hope. I wait for him to speak. He has to be the one to take the lead here. He is the deer, and I am the hunter now. "I have been fighting for as long as I can remember. I have no hobbies or family. I am a soldier for Vipin. I don't know a thing about my mother or if she is even alive. The only constant thing that has been in my life is fighting and Vipin and here you come and tell me I belong to you. That I am your mate and I am just suppose to rejoice and follow you? Do you have any idea how insane that sounds?" I have no clue what to say. He is right, and I never once put myself in his place. However, it changes nothing. "I'm sorry your life has been hard. I'm sorry about a lot of things but I am trying to change what I can. What I say to you is the truth you are mine and I am yours. Months ago I was a library apprentice who spent her days feeling absolutely worthless. I had no purpose in life and today I am the future queen of this kingdom. A lot has happened between then and now and sometimes I still cannot believe it but that does not make it any less true. I am who I am and I cannot change that but I can change the fate of the Vin people but I cannot do that without you. I cannot do that with out my mates." I leave it all out there because he needs to hear it. The past does not dictate the future. I am not the woman I was a few months ago, and he is not the same man. "You can choose Sanjay." His head lifts and tilts to the side as if he is listening to someone. Sanjay nods his head and turns around to start walking back toward me. "I don't know what the future holds for us. I don't know what to believe but if there is a chance you are right I will aide you." Sanjay steps up to me and looks deep into my eyes. He is so close I can smell him, and when his hand comes up to grip the nape of my neck, I shiver. His lips come down softly onto mine in the sweetest kiss I have ever had. My toes curl, and my hands come up to frame his face. He deepens the kiss, and a moan escapes my mouth. He pulls away slightly, hovering his lips over mine, sweeping them back and forth, sending tingles flowing all throughout my body. "I know what to do. Do you trust me?" He asks. "Yes." His hand placed at the nape of my neck slowly slides down my body until it sits at the base of my spine. He digs his fingers into my spine almost painfully, but I don't pull away because I know this needs to happen. He continues to sweep his lips over mine, which distracts me from the pressure he is applying to my spine. "Ajna." He whispers. The pressure at the base of my spine slowly rises up until it reaches the center of my forehead. Sanjay touches his forehead to mine, and an indigo light starts to spread out between our heads and surrounds us. "I will not lie to you. I can't join you but I can do this." "I'm not giving up on you. We were made to be together. Please believe." I feel myself slipping away from Sanjay and back into my body. My eyes open, and everyone surrounds me. I don't have the strength to talk, so I just listen to the people around me and close my eyes again. "We can't stay here. We must move." "Is it safe to move her? Can she travel?" "We have no choice. Sanjay knows where we are which means its only a matter of time before Vipin knows too. We can't risk staying here. We can protect ourselves in Svadhisthana where our army and Hadeem are." Sai is right. We need to leave here. I need to unlock the rest of my chakras, and if an army awakes us, we need to get to it. I gather as much strength as I can muster and open my mouth to voice my wants. "To Svadhisthana." It's all I can say. It's all I can get out, and it seems to be enough because my words are being repeated back to me before I let sleep take me under. 
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