Altered

Training

We leave just before dawn before anything has a chance to open. Before anyone has the opportunity to see us. As we ride on horseback through the city-state, I come to the realization that I am leaving behind everything I have ever known in search of what was meant for me by Spirit. I have never felt more frightened in my life. It dawned on me that in three days, I have lost my parents. I became a wanted fugitive and had s*x with a man I don't know. Now I am on the road to find another man who is destined for me. How am I supposed to give myself to another man? I only want Adbay. I only need him. How is he going to feel about me being with six other men? How am I supposed to handle all of them?

We are finally on the outskirts of Anahata when Adbay speaks to me.

"You're thinking too much."

"How do you know I am thinking at all?"

"I know you better than you think. I have watched you for years, I know what you look like when you are over thinking something."

"Okay Mr. I know all this and that of Amita, I was thinking about how I gave myself to you so easily and would it be the same for my other mates and how we both would feel about it."

"Those are very good essential things to worry about, I suppose. And you didn't give yourself to me quickly. There is a mate bond between us; we are naturally drawn to each other, and you will be drawn to your other mates as well. It is the way of things and has been before Vipin took over. All the queens that came before you had seven chakra mates and made it work. We shall be no different. It just might take some practice. Our world depends on it."

I ponder Adbay's words for a long moment. What if we never find my mates? What if they don't all get along? So many what if's enter my brain, begins to ache, and I look back to Adbay.

"Let's talk about something else. What training am I to undergo?"

"I thought we should start with movement meditation also know as Yoga. It is an ancient practice that will help you connect to Spirit so that you will gain your elemental powers."

"Yes. I have read a little on Yoga in the back rooms of the library. Its said to bring direct connection or union with Spirit but is not practiced anymore as our way of life is being snuffed out."

"Correct, Vipin does not want us practicing yoga out of fear that it may activate someone and bring magic back to our people and our people are too afraid to even attempt because no one knows how to control magic enough to hide it."

"So how are we going to hide my growing magic? Are we not a target already for moving around?"

Adbay looks at me with a smirk on his lip as if I asked him something he did not expect me to. I like the look on his face, and I have to remind myself to calm down. We are not precisely in a place for me to have him again.

"You are so smart my library apprentice." His praise makes heat rush through my body, and it's a feeling I am growing familiar with.

"No, slaves travel for many reasons all the time. No one to keep track of us unless a master or mistress owns you."

For one who is so intelligent, I never really thought about the slaves that are owned. Typically, the life of a slave who is owned is much harsher than one who is "free." I was lucky enough to have parents who owned a farm and could trade what they grew, so they didn't need to find work elsewhere. Adbay had said his father taught him well, so he didn't need to find a job until he had to, but he too is a free slave.

I look over at Adbay and assess him for the first time today. His forearms are muscular, and his shoulders are broad. His long black hair is hanging down in a braid tied up in a loop that ends at the base of his neck. As he shifts and moves with his horse, I see the muscle outlining his back, and I shiver. Adbay is no boy. He is all man, and he is all mine. I can tell he is used to physical labor and working hard in the sun with his tanned skin. I wonder if he was ever lonely. I never asked about his parents or how he has cope with not knowing their fate, and this leaves me with a sick feeling in my stomach.

I have been looking at Adbay like a piece of meat. Not a man with past hurts and wants. Adbay speaks again, breaking me from my downward spiral mood.

"Yoga is movement meditation and there are many different types but for you I have chosen Vinyasa and Hatha."

"Why those two?"

"Usually the type of Yoga that is chosen for you is done by the queen after your thirteenth birthday. After a mother/daughter relationship has been made. After she has watched you grow and can help you transition into women hood. I chose Hatha and Vinyasa because those were the most common practices of Yoga and I have more research for them so I feel that I am fairly confident I can guide you."

"So the task falls upon you?" His head snaps back to look at me, and the expression on his face is a determined one.

"Yes, and I have chosen."

He looks so serious as though he has followed some instruction down to the letter, and maybe he has. I know he takes my life very seriously but does that mean he has no life of his own. What did he do in his spare time? Surely, his life could not all have been all about me.

"Adbay?"

"Yes."

"Have you had other women?"

Adbay looks away from me and pounders my question for a moment. I wonder if he will lie to me or trust me enough to tell the truth. Everyone has a past, and what he did before me should not matter, but I have to know that he has or had a life of his own.

"Yes, I have had other women. When I was not preparing or training for you I did other things. My face must be of decent quality because women have always been drawn to me but never for the right reasons. Now I know why."

My face heats up from both jealousy and validation. I am glad to hear that he has experienced the world apart from me, but a part of me still feels jealous that his lips have touched another. Adbay is mine and mine alone. No one else should have him, and from this day forward, no one else will.

Adbay's head turns in my direction abruptly, he parts his lips in a gasp, and his face is in the form of shock.

"Amita…you just…you don't even realize it."

"Realize what?"

"You were speaking in my mind just now. I heard what you said about me and I am glad your feelings and powers are growing. I am happy to be yours."

My face flushes again as we stare at each other. My feelings for Adbay grow by the minute, and I don't know what to do with them all. I've never felt this way about a man before, so not knowing how to act makes me even more nervous. Relaying on my instincts is a sure way of making a fool of myself, so I say nothing and look forward. The silence grows as I replay our conversation again in my mind.

Adbay never misses a chance to make sure I know he wants to be here, but a part of me wonders how much of that is truly him and how much of that is the bond. I lift my eyes to glance at Adbay to see if he had heard my last thoughts. I don't want him to think I doubt him even though my thoughts are saying as much.

"How were you able to hear me in your head?" I finally ask

"Your power is still very new and fresh. When you think something loud enough and if there is enough emotion behind it I am able to hear it now. This is not uncommon, other things will start to happen out of your control as you get stronger , until you have control which is why we need to start your training. We will begin tonight after we set up camp."

I nod my head in agreement and say nothing else, letting my mind consume me as we ride side by side to Manipura.

A few hours later, we stop to make camp under cover of trees. Adbay pulls out two tents, and my world slows for a second. A look of confusion is written on my face, and before I can cover it, Adbay sees it. Why would he have two tents if we are together? Are we not together?

"I got a lot of these supplies before I knew we were mates. I thought you would want your own tent but mine is always open to you."

"I don't want my own tent." I whisper.

He chuckles lightly before picking up one tent and putting it back on the horse. We quickly unfold the tent and set it up, and placed our belongings inside. Adbay makes a fire, and we sit down to eat dinner together.

"How long did it take you to prepare for this journey?" I ask him

"It took years mainly because I was just a boy and did not understand a lot but I was smart enough. I have read all the manuscripts for what feels like a thousand times. I did not understand them at first and when I turned twenty-five things just started to make sense."

Adbay cant be a day over twenty-eight, I think to myself and wonder why I never thought to ask him how old he was.

"How old are you Adbay, you look to be just a few years older than myself."

"I am thirty-four."

My eyes widen in surprise that Adbay is a full ten years older. He truly is a man, which makes me want to spread my legs for him even more. Ugh, this damn bond has turned me into some fiend.

"Let us focus on your training."

Adbay stands up and walks toward the fire facing me.

"I will show you a few poses and I want you to try your best to imitate them alright?"

"Alright."

The first thing Adbay does is lift his left leg to cross over his right. His left foot hovers above the ground, pointing backward while he shoots his arms out to cross them in front of himself, making them look like a pretzel. His right foot, which is still planted on the ground, bends so that his hips move closer to the ground. He looks like a beautiful statue, motionless and robust. I stand up and take a few steps back from him and try to copy his movements, but I fall out of the posture every time while Adbay still holds his. Adbay finally moves and comes out of the pose to help me understand what I am doing wrong.

"This pose is call eagle. You have horrible balance so we will need to work on that. Try moving slower and with your breath. Every moment should be paired with an inhale or exhale."

Adbay guides me through the pose, and even though I don't do it as gracefully as he did, he still gives me words of encouragement. We move on to another posture and then another with me falling out of them while Adbay holds his still.

"How do you make it look so easy?"

"I have been practicing for ten years now but when I first started learning I was like you, falling out of the postures. This takes time and practice."

"Ten years? We don't have that kind of time!"

"It will not take that long for you. Your were made for this. You can do this, it is in you."

I disagreed with Adbay. If he genuinely has watched me throughout the years, then I am sure he would feel the same as I do. Maybe he does not know me at all. I sigh long and hard into the night, half-believing I am a princess, half-believing in the fact that I have always been no one.

"Trust me Amita, You have it in you. I know you can do this."

I nod my head, not fully believing him but willing to let it go for now. Adbay continues for another few hours, teaching me pose after pose. Each one is harder than the last. My feet start to ache, and my bones begin to shake from exertion, and I collapse onto the ground, exhausted. Adbay stands over me with a goofy grin on his face, and I can't help but smile back at him. Sweat is covering my body, and my breathing is labored. I feel so tired, yet my whole body is a buzz. It feels like a snake is moving across my back while steady beat drums at the base of my spine. My head feels light as if I had smoke the sacred spice, and I just lay on the ground and breath.

My hands run over the dirt and rocks that lay underneath me. I taste the water in the air; I can even smell it.

"What is this feeling?"

"It is kundalini. Enjoy it. It may not happen often."

I feel my body, no, not my body, but something inside of me begins to move in a circular motion while the snake on my back moves in rainbow colors. I feel connected to everything, and the feeling is fantastic. The sentiment came on abruptly, and I had no time to prepare, but maybe that is good because I don't think I would have ever been ready for this.

My head starts to vibrate, and the drum at the base of my spine starts to move up my back as the snake moves faster. I don't fight it. I know better now. I surrender to it, and the power moves up through my spine and explodes out of my head, and I leave my body entirely.