Memories and Regrets
Owen Alarick stood in front of the large fireplace in his office, staring blankly at the flames while his mind wandered as always. Alpha duties took up the majority of his days and he prided himself on never falling behind and knowing how to delegate. He chuckled into his glass of bourbon he’d been nursing. He wasn’t always good at delegating. It took him a couple of years to finally learn to let go and allow his more-than-qualified Alpha unit to handle important pack matters.
When he first came back from his 4-year training at the Royal Alpha Academy, he regularly worked all hours of the day and was lucky to get more than two hours of sleep. His father, Alpha William, had finally had enough and challenged him to a friendly duel. Owen’s eyes crinkled at the memory as he continued sipping his drink and smiling to himself. His dad had kicked his @ss that day. It was borderline embarrassing if not for the point his father was trying to make: you can’t be the Alpha your pack needs if you can’t be ready to protect and defend. “You have to learn to delegate, son. You can’t forget that pack members are infinitely more important than paperwork or some contacts you have to sign.” It was the exact lesson he’d needed. From then on, he relied on his unit more. He’d already trusted them, having grown up together, but he had finally learned to show that trust by letting go. Matt Briar was his Beta, the second-in-command. James Kincaid was his Gamma, with his sister, Gabby Kincaid taking over the Delta role. Owen, like his father, had always wanted to include women in leadership roles since pack mentality throughout the werewolf realm was still pretty archaic. Their pack, Moonlight Falls, was the opposite, thanks to the work of Owen’s parents. His mother, Luna Kate, has always had an equal voice to that of his dad. He wanted what his parents had. The bond, the love, the devotion, the equal partnership.
‘Goddess, I need my Luna’, Owen thought as his eyes continued staring into the flickering fire. He was already sick and tired of everyone asking about it or throwing their daughters his way at allied pack meetings. He didn’t attend mating balls or travel to other packs on the full moon. He’d heard the gossip questioning his sexuality but he also refused to correct it; had he been gay, anyone expressing their disapproval was someone he didn’t want to associate with anyway. He didn’t want his denials to even remotely hurt the small group of L.G.B.T.Q. pack members who had found peace and acceptance in his pack. So he kept his mouth shut and rolled his eyes at the grumpy old men who couldn’t understand his resistance to the she-wolves they kept introducing him to. Some of the she-wolves couldn’t understand it, either. He’d been surprised several times by scantily clad women knocking on his office or private suite doors, hoping to seduce him. It wasn’t a pleasant surprise for him and it sure wasn’t pleasant for the women since he basically said “not interested” before shutting the doors in their shocked faces.
He sighed, walked towards his desk and rubbed his temples as he sat down. He knew who his mate was. He’d known since her 21st birthday, initially watching her party from a distance and protecting her as always. June. His June. He wasn’t even surprised, he felt like he’d always known. He’d loved her since they were children, his heart and mind always focused on her and only her. Sure, he’d dated around during his Academy years, but he had left when he was 18 and June was only 15 years old. He refused to commit to anyone else or take a “chosen mate” as his pack urged him to.
When he came back to take over the pack at 22, he focused on running the pack and learning all he could to be the mate June would be proud of. He ran to see her the first weekend he moved back home, something he’d always found time for before, only to watch her go on a date with some human man. He nearly blew his cover when she invited this man, Ben or Ken or whatever the f.ck his name was, to her home for a “nightcap”. Feeling his heart ache in a way he couldn’t fully describe, his wolf let out a terrifying warning growl. It made the i***t human decline and peel away from her driveway. June didn’t even flinch at the growl, likely because of the mate bond that already existed between them. He hated to see her hurting and feeling rejected but he knew his wolf, Rhudi, would not stand for another man touching June while he was in the vicinity. He calmed Rhudi down and told him to wait one more year. Witches who are mated to werewolves do not feel the bond until their magic becomes fully realized on their 21st birthday. She had every right to date, to invite anyone she wanted to her bed. As much as it was painful to think about, he couldn’t be a hypocrite. He couldn’t take away her choices while he wasn’t fully in her life. He didn’t want a silent, submissive Luna like most older wolves seemed to prefer. He loved June. He loved her light, her fire, her heart, her intelligence, her laughter. He’d already suspected June had magic. He used to feel it occasionally when, as children, they’d hold hands or when she’d ruffle his hair and peck him on the cheek. “I love you, Ricky, you’re my best friend,” she’d whisper in his ear in her sweet, melodic voice.
The mate bond finally snapped into place when her hidden magic unsealed at the exact moment of her birth 21 years prior. His heart felt like it was going to explode. Her scent, unmistakably June but now stronger, more enticing, sweeter, and definitely more arousing, was driving him and his wolf crazy. He’d waited for this moment for so long, he nearly forgot all about the memory spell. He wasn’t worried since it was set to come off on her 21st birthday, returning the hidden memories of their friendship and childhood bond. Then it didn’t. Owen stood right in front of her and wished her happy birthday, his hands shoved in his pockets to hide their shaking. June looked at him with her gorgeous eyes and his heart broke when she didn’t recognize him at all. He introduced himself as Ricky, hoping his childhood alias would trigger something in her mind. She blinked, gave him an appreciative smile (with an appreciative glance down his body) and yelled “Nice to meet you, Ricky!” as her friends dragged her away to dance. It had already been a month since that day and Owen spent all his free time researching magic spells and reversals.
His anger at himself was suffocating. He had thought he was doing the right thing for June but it backfired in the worst way. The witch he’d contracted for the spell was unknown to all covens he’d checked with. He had acted too rashly and was now paying the price. He had been a desperate teenager in love and stupidly let himself be fooled by a dark witch. He didn’t know what the witch wanted or what she gained by not letting June recover her memories or sense the mate bond. Owen had to find answers. He couldn’t claim June without her feeling the bond and he couldn’t imagine life without her. He shut his eyes and listened to the crackling of the fireplace. “Don’t worry, Rhudi, I’ll figure it out,” he told his wolf. “You better, you as.shole. I want my June-bug!” came an irritated growl. Owen sighed. Me too, he thought, me too.