Fun and Names

Fun and Names By Sabarirajan Bhageshh 6 RE GWPS (33) At Snore School (yes, that's what everyone secretly called it), things were beyond boring. The head teacher, Mr. L. Tan, was the most boring of them all. He had a big rectangle head, a voice like a vacuum cleaner, and glasses that made him look like he hadn’t smiled since 1982. Every morning, Mr. Tan stood outside the main hall and shouted out names of kids who “fell asleep in class,” which was basically… everyone. “YOU! DETENTION.” “YOU! DOUBLE DETENTION.” “YOU! DETENTION WITH EXTRA YAWNING.” By the time he finished the list, half the school was already asleep again. The Boredom Attack 💀 Lessons were legendary for putting kids into unconsciousness. Geography was just maps of clouds. Maths had more yawns than numbers. And during History, a kid actually snored so loud the ceiling tile fell. Nobody had energy for anything... until one day. The Mystery Trickster 👀 After one especially dusty and soul-sucking lesson (possibly Science? Nobody remembers), someone snuck into The Big Book of Detentions while Mr. Tan was eating his cold celery sandwich. This mystery kid (me) erased all the boring names and wrote a completely new list — full of the silliest fake names ever made. Names that would make even Mr. Tan's shoelaces giggle. The next morning… The Roll Call of Chaos Mr. Tan stomped up to the front steps as usual. He opened the book. He cleared his throat like he was coughing up a dictionary. “DON KEIGH. Don Keigh.” The class paused. Then— “HAHAHAHAHA!!” “WHO is laughing?!” Mr. Tan barked. “TY N. SEEK!” “RICK O’SHEA!” “AL BEBACK!!” “PFFT— HAHAHA!” “You want detention?!” he roared. “This is NO laughing matter!!” But it was too late. “BEN DOVER!” “ANITA BATH!” “SUE SHI!!” The kids were gasping for air at this point. Even the sleepy ones woke up from their desks to see what was going on. Laughter Level: UNSTOPPABLE Mr. Tan’s ears turned red. His head steamed like a kettle. “PAIGE TURNER.” “MO LASSES.” The kids tried to hold it in. Some were biting their tongues. One was stuffing her jumper into her mouth. Another was silently crying from trying not to laugh. Then… it happened. Mr. Tan, with a full serious face, said: “ELLA VATOR.” BOOOOOOOOOOOOM. The entire room exploded. Desks shook. Books flew. Somebody fell off a chair. A pigeon outside the window even flapped off in panic. “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” Kids were rolling on the floor, tears streaming, wheezing like they had just run five marathons. One kid shouted, “GOING UP!!!” and pressed the air like elevator buttons. Another yelled, “DOORS CLOSING!” and mimed getting stuck between them. Mr. Tan’s Meltdown “STOP LAUGHING!!!” “THIS IS AN INSTITUTION OF DISCIPLINE!” “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE HERE FOR?!?” He pointed at everyone like a mad wizard. “ALL OF YOU… D–E–T–E–N–T–I–O–N!!” He slammed the Big Book of Detentions shut so hard, a cloud of boredom dust flew into the air. But here’s the thing… No one cared. They couldn’t care. They were laughing too hard. Some kids had laughed so much they got hiccups. One hiccupped and said, “Ella... hic... Vator... hic...” and the class lost it all over again. Aftermath Mr. Tan cancelled the next class. He went into the staffroom and didn’t come out for an hour. Rumour says he tried to erase “Ella Vator” from the book, but his hand kept shaking every time he saw it. The school day ended in total chaos — the good kind. Even Miss Scribbles (the art teacher) said, “Honestly… best roll call I’ve ever seen.” No one ever found out who did it. (Okay, some people suspect it was me because I couldn’t stop smiling the rest of the week.) But when the Big Book of Detentions was checked the next day… There was a NEW name added. “Will U. Laughagain” THE END 😎🎉 Word count: 654