I Became Her

Chapter 9 -The Surprise-

My eyes want to jump out of my head when I see the masterpiece they call a private jet. It’s way way way larger than I imagined in my head. In the movies they seem quite small and stuffy, but this one, it could fit a zoo if necessary.

Duncan is moving around in the aircraft like it is the most casual thing ever. Probably not his first time to fly in one of those, because he just takes a seat and starts scrolling his phone while I am still trying to take in all this luxury. Leather seats, marble tabletops and lush carpet you want to sink your bare toes into. I feel like I am underdressed for this aircraft, a ballgown would be fitting.

“I could live in here,” I say jokingly to Duncan, who keeps texting nonstop.

He answers me with a snort and keeps ignoring me like he always does when working. I presume our celebration starts when we land and not a minute earlier.

Sometimes I wish I had the balls to ask him what he does for a living, but my metaphorical balls are smaller than dust mites. So, I keep wondering and unriddling in my head what seems to fit his character and schedule. Nothing solid so far, but as time passes, I might finally find out.

Since he is doing his thing, I sit on the other side of the aircraft and close my eyes to get some rest before our getaway. He hasn’t told me what he has planned for us or where we are going exactly, so I have to be prepared for anything really. He isn’t ‘stay inside and lay low’ kind of guy and Las Vegas is full of attractions, full of places to go. I will recharge to keep up with his crazy plans.

“Hey! Get up. We need to move.” His words and a hard punch against my shoulder wakes me up with a jolt and it takes few seconds to realize where I am.

Duncan throws my overnight bag beside me and walks out of sight; I assume out of the aircraft. Did I do something to piss him off? I hope, cause it’s not going to be a very romantic trip if he keeps acting like that. It’s like someone changed the Duncan I knew and replaced him with this frigid and sour person who doesn’t even see you as a person, let alone a girlfriend.

I pick my stuff up and leave the aircraft with an unsettling feeling. His behavior made me uneasy, and I can’t shake the feeling that this trip will not be what I hoped it will. He has never shown me his darker side, he has never scolded or hurt me, but being so far from home and witnessing this whole other side of him, scares me.

I have no friends left. My dad basically disowned me after I moved in with Duncan. I have no money or security network if he ditches me. I really have nothing if he kicks me to the curb.

Well, to survive, I have to make sure he keeps me close. It is hard to say what pains me the most, the fact that he is acting like I am just a carry on or that this behavior breaks my heart. It is painful to watch someone you love turn into a stranger.

Hopefully, I am still drowsy from my sleep and all these thoughts are just me overthinking and overanalyzing. He has been there for me through thick and thin, he is still the same person I fell in love with, so I have to get over this little hiccup. We came here to enjoy ourselves and that is what I plan to do.

When I step on the tarmac, I see him talking with airport staff and shake hands. The workers walk away as soon as they see me and Duncan waves me to get in the car that is parked next to the huge hangar on the side of the taxiway.

Thirty minutes pass and I am still sitting alone in the car. He keeps making phone calls, one call after another, his mood seems to lighten a bit. I guess something is up with work and he needs to settle everything before we can forget that somewhere out there is the real world we need to get back to in a few days.

Another fifteen minutes pass before he finally walks towards the car and, when next to me, he grabs my hand and pulls me in for a kiss that dissolves all the worries I had. The real Duncan is back, and I love him deeply.

“To the hotel. No detour,” he says to the driver and squeezes my hand. “I am really glad I met you. You will make all the difference.” His lips turn into a smile, but his eyes do not get the memo and there is no warmth in them.

He is acting like the old Duncan. He is speaking like old Duncan. But something is off.

“Difference?” I ask him, trying to understand his riddle.

“Don’t worry. You just have to enjoy.” Another smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.

I just stare at him with nothing else to say. Vegas is affecting him in a way I can’t really comprehend. Is he aloof, is he a jokester or did he lose it completely?

We reach the hotel, and he has outdone himself again. It’s a huge curvy glass building with a gorgeous modern design and lights that leave you breathless.

Inside it is even more over-the-top. Gold, glass, marble and bright lights make you dizzy if you try to take it all in at once. People bustling around, shouts of joy and despair from the casino floor mixed with music and constant chatter from 360degrees around you.

No wonder what happens here, stays here. This is another world and reality has no place here. It’s like an alternative universe where people can be whoever they want to be and be with whoever they want to. I love it here. A smile creeps on my face and I bet it stays there until we have to leave.

Duncan checked us in while I was looking around with my dumb smile and wide eyes. How wonderful would it be to stay here forever?

“Alexie! Let’s go.” Duncan’s voice broke my little bubble and reminded me that I would be leaving in a few days.

I run after him, and he guides us through the casino to the elevators.

“Have you been here before?” I ask, as he moves around like it is his second home and I doubt he is just that good at orientating.

“Few times.” His short answer tells me not to pry about this topic and to keep my mouth shut as usual. And as usual, I obey.

Walking behind him like an obedient girlfriend, I realize that I actually have no idea what he does or who he is if he is not with me. During this last year he always slept at home, he was always with me when I wasn’t at school, like he had no obligations of his own. Yes, he worked hours on his computer and made private phone calls, but other than that, he didn’t seem to be working at all.

The one time I dared to ask him about his business, he dismissed me before I managed to even finish my inquiry. So, I left it at that. Not that I didn’t care, but I know, that if he thinks it is necessary for me to know, he will tell me eventually. I am lying to myself, aren’t I?

Duncan clears his throat and when my eyes land on him, I notice that I had stopped walking and the annoyance on his face is clear as day.

“Sorry, my head is a little clouded,” I say trying to pardon myself.

“Well, pull yourself together, we have stuff to do.” He turns and walks away, probably thinking I will run after him. And his thinking is spot on, as I am at his heels within seconds. I hate being scolded.

“Sorry,” I mumble under my breath, not expecting an answer.

We reach the elevators and as soon as we step inside one, he pulls out his phone and starts texting.

This hot and cold attitude towards me is starting to get on my nerves a little. Maybe my expectations were too high, maybe this is just him doing his thing and I have to endure. And by endure, I mean swallow my hopes and be happy with whatever he offers. His promises were golden, his delivery is worse than gravel, but I am in no position to confront him about it.

Most people would ask me why whine when you are in a fancy hotel and seem like living your best life, but the thing is, I don’t want to spend my time with the fancy hotel, I want to be held and noticed by my boyfriend. I want to show him he is my everything and he means the world to me. I don’t want to be stuck in a luxurious room with someone who only notices your existence when you annoy them. So, yes, I will whine, in silence though.

The elevator doors open and he guides us to our room.

I walk in and I have to be honest, it is not at all what I had expected him to book for us. It’s a basic room with a king-sized bed that takes up most of the space in this suite. Since he is more of an over the top fancy type, then I assume we will not be spending much time in here, or he would have booked something entirely different for this trip.

“Can I freshen up before we head out?” I can tell my question surprised him, since he is looking at me like I asked him to bring me a Stegosaurus egg or something.

“Yeah. No problem,” he answered after shaking this baffled look from his face.

I take my toiletries from the suitcase and disappear into the bathroom.

Hot water running down my skin relaxes my nerves instantly. It doesn’t matter if I am in Vegas or somewhere else, hot shower always has the same effect and I love it. No matter what is going on, it can soothe the worry and uncertainties for as long as it caresses my skin.

For those brief minutes, I can forget that Duncan is acting a little off and I can shake the feeling that he lied about this whole trip. For those brief minutes, I am at peace with the world.

But when the water stops pouring down, all the worry is turned on again. I try to force myself to get out of my head and enjoy the moment I am in, but damn, it is hard when he is sending all these alarming signals at me.

Deep breath in, long breath out.

‘We are here. We are happy.’ I repeat to myself over and over again, until a small part of me starts to believe in it. That small part has to run the show tonight.

I take the robe, tie it tightly around my body and walk out the bathroom.

“I really needed tha-,” I stop in mid sentence and my mind freezes as my hands instantly check if the robe is wrapped properly.

The sight frightening me.