I Became Her

Chapter 24 -The Balcony-

I try to hide my shock and just nod until he looks away.

He is engaged, and he is engaged to this sweet-looking girl, who can’t even speak properly. There is something amiss and I need more information on them to know for sure what doesn’t add up.

Isaac seems not to care much, so I doubt he has any juicy details. Then again, there is Talia, who has been coming to these events for some time now, so perhaps she has picked up something about the happy couple.

But before I can ask anything, she excuses herself and leaves the table. So, I wait.

Unexpectedly, Isaiah takes Talia’s seat and addresses me. “I hope Isaac is being well-mannered,” he says with a sophisticated smile.

“Thank you for your concern, Sir. He has been nothing short of a gentleman.” What else could he even be while we share a table with his father?

“How much would it cost for you to take him somewhere where he can forget being a gentleman,” he asks without looking at me when my eyes shoot up at him. Is he asking me to sleep with his son? Am I a prostitute to him? What did Talia tell him about me?

“Excuse me for a minute, I leave the table to find Talia because she has some explaining to do.

Since the speeches are over and people are moving about the venue, it is that much harder to locate her. After a good ten minutes of wondering around, I find her in the powder room.

“Your very trusted Isaiah just offered me money to sleep with Isaac!” the rage in my voice is very clear even though I whisper, not sure if someone could be listening.

“What?” Her surprise is as big as mine. “No, he didn’t! I’ll go and smack him!” She gets as pissed off as I am at the moment.

“He thinks I am a w***e or something,” I keep ranting and she shoves her lipstick back in the purse with too much force.

“He knows this is your first time to do something like this, so I doubt he thinks that. But let's find out,” she takes my hand and walks us out of the room. We don’t make it to the table though, Isaac stops us in the hallway.

“I heard him,” he says like it was no big deal. “Can I speak with you, privately?” He offers his hand to me.

I look at Talia to see if she has any idea what I should do. She gives a nod and lets go of my hand. “You know the rules!” She warns Isaac before walking away.

“Follow me,” he walks to the opposite direction of where Talia just went, and I am having a mental debate if I am up for the task ahead. I am where I am because I followed a man blindly and I swore never to do that again. My eyes follow him walking and I can’t make a decision.

Okay, I can do this. This is not like the last time. The first step is hard, and I still doubt myself. The second step is even harder because I know I might be betraying the promise I made to myself. And then there is the third step, the easiest, whatever happens, I am in charge of my life, and I made the choice to follow him. The fourth, fifth and so many others are just part of the process to get somewhere, and I don’t even count them.

I walk through the same doors he did and find him leaning against the railing that separates us from the gorgeous garden. “It’s beautiful,” I say mostly to notify him that I am here.

“Take the money he offered,” he says while looking at the distance.

“I am not that kind of an escort. Hell, I am not an escort at all,” Just because I am here pretending to be one, doesn’t mean I can be considered as one. And no amount of his daddy’s money would make me sleep with him.

“I am gay,” he finally turns towards me and seems to be staggered when he doesn’t see me gasping for air in shock. “So, take the money,” he adds.

“First, I kind of figured when you were flirting with that guy from two tables over.” I swear he is blushing. “And second, I don’t need his money.” I know people think that you can never have enough of it, but right now, I value my reputation over any kind of currency.

“You saw that?” He laughs. “Want to know a secret?”

“Always,” I answer quickly, sensing something good is about to be revealed.

“Rowan and I have been living together for months now.” His smile says it all. He must think he is in love. “And my dad here, is still trying to prove that I just haven’t found the right woman yet.” He shakes his head and looks away from me. “Take the money, not for yourself, but for me. Let him think that I am not a fat faggot.”

I like him. I actually like him. Not as a man, but as a human.

I stand next to him and place my hand over his. “I think you’re great. Great fat faggot.” We both laugh. He knows what I mean.

“What’s with you and Tyler?” he asks out of the blue when the laughter stops.

I don’t know where to look. I don’t know what to say.

“Nothing.” I panic and this single word is the result. I look at him slowly and his raised eyebrows tell me exactly what I was afraid of. This ‘nothing’ was said too fast, and he knows that there is definitely something. But I can’t. I can’t tell him anything.

“Okay then. Lets join the fun once again.” He opens the door for me, and I walk back inside.

As my heels click on the marble floor, I almost bump into him. Into Tyler, who is standing in the hallway and, without a second to think, what to do, I back up and push Isaac and myself back to the balcony. He didn’t notice us; he didn’t notice me.

“So, nothing uh?” Isaac noticed him as it seems. “Is he your ex or something?” Chills from that disgusting thought run down my spine. “You can trust me. You’re the only one who knows about Rowan and me. Let me return the favor and be someone you can trust.” I know he means well and perhaps he is being truthful, but some things are harder to speak out loud than others.

“I’ve only met him once. Quite recently, really. And that meeting didn’t go too well for me,” I tell the short version. The one where I leave out all the ugly details and pain.

His face is serious and hard to read. Like he wants to say something but can’t, like he knows something, but isn’t sure if he should say it. He brushes his hand through his hair and slams that same hand against the railing. I jump at the sound and take a step back. I am not afraid of him; I am afraid of what he might say.

“He is back at it, isn’t he?” he turns and looks at me with furious fire burning in his eyes.

“Back at what?” I ask almost inaudibly. I hope we are speaking about different things. How can someone know what he is doing, and still have him walk among the rest of us? He must be talking about something else.

“f**k. How do I say it? He took you against your will, didn’t he? That little fucker. He r***d you.” The voice he is speaking with belongs to someone else, not the Isaac I just met. The raw anger and disgust that resonated through him is so powerful that it changed the man who is standing in front of me.

I don’t answer him. I don’t nod or dismiss the claim. And to my surprise I don’t burst into tears. I stand in front of him with the same body they ransacked, but I don’t feel ashamed or hurt that he knows. What bothers me, is that it is no secret Tyler is a r****t, yet they shut their eyes tight and pretend to know nothing, they choose to do nothing.

“How do you know about him?” I need him to explain. There has to be an explanation why this group of people accept him when they know what he is doing. Maybe I wouldn’t be here if they didn’t stick up to each other and granted him a free pass.

“At first it was the rumors. Then the rumors started to pile up and when Julia dumped his ass, everything stopped. The accusations, the rumors, everything stopped.” Another slam against the railing. “And then they got engaged and it has been quiet ever since.”

“So, you are basing your claim on rumors?”

“I have friends in high and low places. I know these weren’t just rumors. I know you are not a rumor.” The last sentence hits me like a two-sided blade.

“I didn’t say that this is how I know him.” Why am I trying to cover up what happened? I don’t know. It just feels easier to bury it under denials.

He looks at me briefly then moves his gaze behind me.

“Hello Tyler.”