I Became Her

Chapter 7 -The Agreement-

I stare at her dumbfounded.

I know I heard right, but none of it makes any sense.

I walk out of her room and close the door behind me. If we just could shut the door on all of our problems and pretend that they can’t follow us. Out of sight, out of mind.

But this is not the case now. Even if Yas is out of sight, I can’t get her out of my mind. And most definitely, I can’t forget what she said about her father. There is a good possibility that she misunderstood him and now she is covering up something she shouldn’t.

I am not afraid of Mr. Wilson, but confronting him with what Yas just said, seems little out of my league. And what if he really wants to silence Yas to deal with the monsters himself? I can’t just barge into his home and accuse him of something he probably didn’t say.

What if he actually said it?

Rose was right. I am young and naïve. My first instinct, to go and fight for my best friend, might not be as easy as I thought.

But I can’t just do nothing.

Before going to Mr. Wilson, I need to find out if Yas understood him correctly. Maybe the trauma and medications are messing with her head.

I have to talk to Rose. She must know something.

It’s a small private hospital so I find Rose rather quickly since there is only one cafeteria and it is right next to the main waiting area. She is sitting alone, with only a cup of coffee to keep her company. Said image makes me wonder where is Mr.Wilson?

“How are you?” I say approaching her table.

“Oh sweetie, there are no words to describe how I feel.” She keeps looking at her cup of coffee and stirring it non-stop. The cup is still full, so I guess she has no appetite, and is just keeping her hands busy by doing something, anything.

“Can I ask you something?” There is no point in delaying the delicate subject, so I dive right into it.

“Ask away sweetie,” she says with a fake smile that makes you feel special. Years and years of parties and social gatherings have polished her skill to fake a smile to perfection. If you’ve never seen her real one, you’d think that this is it.

I don’t fault her for not being able to smile truly right now.

“I don’t know how to ask it without being disrespectful, so forgive me in advance.” I sit across from her and collect my courage to say what I came to ask. “Yas thinks that Mr. Wilson wants her to keep quiet. I tried to explain that we need to go to the police but-,”

“Alexie! Stop right there!” she cuts into my sentence with a sharp whisper while looking around to make sure no one is eavesdropping on us. “Don’t get involved in this. She is our daughter, and we will do whatever it takes to make this better. You have no reason to be the unwanted hero.” Her last words are harsh and make me feel unwanted, period.

“But she said-.” I try to justify myself, but she is not letting me.

She places her hand over mine on the table and continues. “Listen to me sweetie. Don’t you even for a second think that I am okay with what happened. I hate these people. I hate that we are connected to these people. But we are flies to them. They could crush us with a thumb if they wanted to.” She keeps holding my hand, but is avoiding looking straight at me. “Yasmine will become a target of their slander if we go after them. So yes, we are letting them get away with this.” Her shaky breathing can’t hide the inner fight she is having to keep her emotions at bay.

I feel that I can’t even understand how deep this whole mess is going. Mr. and Mrs. Wilson are powerful people, yet they are forced to their knees by someone who thinks they own this whole world. By someone who thinks they can abuse whoever they want without anyone taking a second look.

Rose is probably right. I should stop and walk away, far away from this situation and not to look ways to make this right for Yas. How simple it would be? Leave Yas here and give her a few months to get better, then pick up where we left off, being best friends with no real problems or worries.

But can that be possible? After my mom died, I never retained the same easygoing attitude I had. Looking at Yas, I don’t even know what will be left of her bubbly and fun personality. Can we ever joke as easily as we used to, or do we have to choose our words carefully not to trigger any hurtful memories? Can we be kids?

And people who ruined her life will carry on as they did before. No punishment for them, no justice for Yasmine. Isn’t life wonderful? For some at least.

“Alexie.” Her voice pulls me back into reality. “My baby needs you. She will need you even more when the shock of what actually happened dissipates. Don’t leave her, I beg you,” she says with pleading eyes looking an answer in mine. I guess she saw how torn I am, how disturbed. “She needs a friend, not retaliation.”

‘She needs a friend on her path for retaliation’, but I can’t say these words out loud.

Instead, I nod and place my other hand on top of hers, still holding mine. “I will be by her side even if she pushes me away.” I really want my words to be true. But I am afraid I can’t stand by them if she really doesn’t want me to be in her life anymore. I am just not decisive enough.

After a few minutes of silence, Rose excuses herself and leaves her untouched coffee. I don’t even know how long I sat there and stared at it like a crazy person, but when someone touches my shoulder, I jump up like instead of a hand, it was a bucket full of ice water.

“Oh, relax, it’s me,” Duncan places both his arms on my shoulders to calm me down.

“Duncan,” I manage to say when my nerves stop sending all kinds of weird impulses to my brain. And I have to admit, I am actually relieved to see him. “Can you take me home?” I’ve had enough and I want to get out. Get out of this hospital. Get out of this mess.

I need to clear my head and tomorrow I will do whatever Yas wants me to do. If she is firm on her decision, I will stand down, if she needs me to find body bags, I will do that too.

“Let’s go eat first.” He took my hand and started to guide us out of the cafeteria, me running after him trying to keep up.

I am not hungry, and I am definitely not a good company today, but I find it hard to refuse him, so here I am, following him like a puppy. Sad, I know, but it is what it is when you are young and stupid enough to not to know what is good for you.

He picks a place I haven’t been to yet and to be completely honest, I am quite sure I would have never dared to enter if not for him. Even the entrance looks a little too expensive for me, not to speak of the pretentious food and cosmic prices for miniature portions. It is safe to say that I am an eater, not a foodie.

I order an overpriced cup of iced tea and he places an order for a three-course meal for himself. Well, if you are actually hungry, you really can’t go less than three because even cats would laugh if they saw how small the steak is in this place.

“You really don’t want anything to eat?” He breaks the silence that has been floating around us from the moment we stepped into his car.

“I am not hungry.”

“I know I have no right to say this, but after what happened to Yas, I don’t want you walking around alone.”

I feel my face furrow at his statement. He is correct, he has no right to say this, and he has no right to want anything from me or for me. “I am perfectly safe, don’t worry,” I answer him nonchalantly.

“For my peace of mind, can I take you to school and back home after, until everything calms down?”

“The only threat to me, while walking home, is stumbling and falling down. It’s a safe neighborhood, I’ll be fine, but thanks for the offer.” I smile tightly, trying not to be rude.

“One week. Let me drive you for one week and after that, I won’t ask anything from you.” His eyes are drilling into mine and I can’t stand the tension he has created between us.

I roll my eyes and ignore him. At least I try to. But he is refusing to take his eyes from me and I feel the crushing pressure he is placing on me.

Like I said, I am weak.

“Okay, for one week.”