I Became Her

Chapter 8 -Interlude One-

Saying ‘yes’ to him marks the real beginning of my downfall.

The first few days were plain awkward. He picked me up in the morning and we didn’t have anything to talk about. So, we sat in his car and waited for the drive to be over, no conversation, no communication, no interaction.

I would have guessed he wanted to use this time to win me over or impress me somehow, but it seems like I was wrong.

Yes, he was perfectly polite, but at the same time, he was very distant from me. He showed no interest in me or my life, he was just a chauffer and nothing more.

Now I know why he was acting like that. It was all a game for him. Unfortunately for me, he knew the rules and I didn’t. I made it a little too easy for him to trick me and I have no one else but myself to blame. Sucks to be the guilty one, especially if you are the only one getting hurt in the aftermath.

As days passed, I started to feel the need to thank him for his troubles. Well, maybe not trouble, but the time he invested in driving me around like a princess.

Yes, he offered, but somehow, I felt like a burden. He was never late, he never complained when I was late. He was there for me when my best friend couldn’t.

He started to seem perfect, he started to feel perfect. And I started to need him in my life.

During all this, another blast swept through my life.

We were driving to school when his phone rang and mere seconds after answering, he pulled the car to the curb and hit the breaks. His eyes locked with my confused ones. I knew something had happened. The pure terror in his expression wasn’t something he could hide or mask into something else. My hands started to tremble as fear began to feast on my heart.

He clicked our seatbelts open and pulled me into a tight hug. He didn’t have to say anything because I already knew. Uncontrollable sobs were now unavoidable.

At that very moment, his arms wrapped around my body, felt like home, like a lifeline. His closeness was necessary for my survival.

I never made it to school that day, or the next, to be honest. He took me to his hotel, and we stayed there, away from everyone for days, although it felt as if time stood still, and I was able to escape for just a few minutes.

Rose kept calling me nonstop. I avoided answering her every single time.

I knew she was in shards, and I couldn’t be the one to put her back together. If I had answered, hearing her voice would have shattered me all over again and I wasn’t ready for that.

So that is why I stayed with him, with Duncan, he didn’t expect me to be strong or okay after losing my best friend. He let me be just as emotionless and closed in as I needed to be.

On the second day, I asked what he knew. When and how it happened.

He sat by my side and pulled me into his arms to soften the blow. His fingers were running calming circles on my back when he told me that Yasmine had jumped off the roof of the hospital and died instantly. No more pain, no more Yasmine.

And that’s the last thing I remember. After hearing that, I was on autopilot until the funeral. So many, maybe even too many people attended, and I couldn’t force myself to walk over there and pay my respects as was expected of me. I looked at everything from afar, Duncan holding me tight.

I can’t recall if I was crying or not. I can’t recall my actions or feelings when they laid her to rest for the last time.

I just know I was a hollow shell, and he was there to support me. At least that’s what I thought.

Without myself knowing, I had filled the chessboard with chess pieces, and we were about to play for survival. No, actually I was playing for survival, he was cheating from the very beginning. He knew how to capture my defenseless king with little effort.

The game was on, and my common sense was off. I did as he told me and thought I had fallen in love with the perfect prince, only to find out the hard way, that the devil in fact wears Prada.

He pampered me beyond belief with expensive gifts, infinite attention, affection, and enchanting promises.

He made me forget Yasmine and the horrible things she went through in her last days, he made me move out of my father’s house, he distanced me from my friends and classmates, he kept me for himself. And I liked it. I liked being adored and cared for. I liked being in love with him.

But there were rules. I was not allowed to ask what he was up to when he wasn’t with me. I was not supposed to touch his phone or to use his computer. If I was told to wait in the car, I had to stay in the car. Not too bad, right? Like any other relationship, right?

Red flags were beating me down, but I imagined that red stood for love not danger. He gave me so much and asked for so little. Why shouldn’t I do as he said when he provided everything for me? When he loved me as much as he said he did.

They say, ‘love is blind’, but if there is no love, if it’s all a lie. Who or what is the blind one then? I’d like to answer ‘ME’. Unfortunately, I wasn’t blind, I was just plain fool and ignorant.

My chess pieces were falling one by one with senior year flying by faster than I had expected. After I was done with school for real, he surprised me with a weekend trip to Las Vegas. To celebrate he said. To enjoy ourselves, he said.

He lied.