THE SEASON I NEVER LOVED

I have always hated the holidays. The bright lights on the roadside shops, the sound of laughter from families I see from the restaurants' floor-to-ceiling windows, and the glorious smell of all forms of cake and bread delicacies from the bakeries. The loud laughter of people as they played in the snow, and the sound of choirs constantly singing carols in every corner. Even the usually silent rundown neighborhood where I lived was now so lively that it was annoying. It seemed as if the people could not contain the joy in their hearts. One, they probably feel from having their family around them or sharing those private moments with loved ones. I had none of those, I felt none of those, and I wanted none of those. So I couldn’t relate, and I hate it. It is tiring to live in a place where you could suddenly stumble on an excited tourist, dragging you in for a spontaneous interview, only to be asked, “What is Christmas like in Rovaniemi at this time of the year?” What is the use of asking? Aren’t you here to experience it yourself? I always wonder with irritation as I yank my hands off their excited grip and ignore their eager eyes. I can’t deal. I have never been able to. If I had known this town was so happy during this time of the year, I would have reconsidered studying here. “Dad, take this!” A child playing in the snow with his parents shouted as he threw a ball of snow at his father amidst laughter, which the man unexpectedly dodged, and I, receiving the blow to my head, was the result. I paused in frustration, feeling the desire to scream in anger. If not for the protection of my beanie, my head would have been freezing coldand hurting right now. Why did people even think throwing snow at one another at this time of the year was fun!!! It was annoying, so annoying. “I’m so sorry!” The father of the child shouted at me. Of course, I knew he wasn’t exactly apologetic, guess why? Because it was the holiday. Everyone is automatically expected to be in a splendid mood. I wouldn’t even be surprised if he expected me to turn around and smile at his son or even say something like, “Nice aim.” Well, not me, I was already civilized enough not to show just how mad I was, as that would be the oddest reaction in this season and in a town like this. If I did that, People would give me the look of ‘oh, she's one of those sadists.’ Which I’m not. I don’t just like the holidays, and it is suffocating when it seems as if you are the only one unhappy in the entire town at this time of the year. I ignored the father, his child, and whatever expectation they had for me and headed home, which was where I had been heading from the very beginning. I rounded the corner and entered the quiet alley that led to the back of my house, where I gently opened the small steel gate and quietly climbed up the row of metal stairs to my apartment. Why was I sneaking into my house when it was not even late at night, you might ask. Well, it's my neighbor. That woman is nosy as hell! As early as November, she had begun to nag me on how I needed to join the street decorations and then that of my apartment, the inside of it, the doors, the windows, everything. She wanted me to decorate them all, as if the disaster she turned the whole compound into was not enough. She even had the effrontery to lecture me last week, saying, “Your house looks gloomy like an abandoned house amongst all the houses in the street, and this doesn’t sit well with me, your neighbor. So even if you are so broke and you can’t afford expensive decorations, buy cheaper ones, or better still, I have some decorations that I used last year, you can borrow them and return them when the holidays are over.” Guess what I did? I slammed the damn door in her face. She can go eat s**t for all I care. But damn, she is a nagging b***h. I even wonder how her husband stayed with her that long. Anyway, I avoided going into the house through the front gate since then because I am stubborn, but that woman is frustrating. Better to avoid her. I increased my working hours since the school was on vacation, and I even try to keep my lights off when I am home to prevent the annoying woman from knocking on my door to remind me to pick up the decorations from her garage. Well, today was another successful day, that is, if she didn’t hear the continuous ringing of my phone, which has been ringing for quite some time now. I walked into my small apartment, shutting the door behind me as I took off my boots and damp beanie, letting my long hair cascade down to my waist. I glanced at the thick dark brown curtains to ensure I had them closed before I switched on my ambient lights because, of course, I was still avoiding my neighbor. I took off my thick winter coat and gloves before reaching for my phone, which was well hidden in my cross bag. I pulled it out as I headed straight for the bed and allowed myself to fall on it tiredly. I lifted my phone to face level to see the caller ID, which said ‘Racheal,’ and that was all it took for me to groan. Another person desiring to instill in me the spirit of Christmas. Don’t get me wrong. I love Racheal, she is my best friend for life and all, but she, convincing me to come spend the holidays with her? Hun! Nope! Not interested! I picked up the call anyway because this was like the fourteenth time she had called. “Carli!!! For Christ's sake, why have you been avoiding my call?!” “Hey Racheal, so nice to hear from you too?” “Carli, stop being such a snub? You and I know, you’ve been avoiding me for weeks now!” She still accused, as if the more she accused, the more I would be willing to agree to my fault. “No, that’s not true, I have been busy because I have a job, remember?” I defended. “Last I checked, your job was a part-time job, and a very boring one at that! There is more than enough time to call and catch up with me!” “Racheal, I have to keep to work etiquette, and by the way, I took on more work hours.” “What!!!! Carli, this is the holiday; you practically work all year round. When you’re not in class, you’re working. You should take a break, travel somewhere!” “Uhm, not interested.” “Why, because you don’t like the holidays?” I sat up, alarmed, “Who told you that?” I asked defensively. Even if I hated the holiday, I made it a duty not to tell that to anyone or tell them why, after all, why would I want to convince others to follow my beliefs? “Dur! Isn’t that obvious for all to see? Your usual lack of energy and refusal to go on vacation with Adam and I every year tells me everything.” “I just had no interest in being the third wheel.” I lied. “Bloody liar.” Racheal snorted on the other side of the phone. “I’m serious!” “I don’t believe you.” “I really am.” “Really?” “T…hen I could give you a chance to prove me wrong.” “What?” I felt a bad feeling in my gut. The last time I felt this way around Racheal. I woke up in a stranger’s bed. “You know how my dad had never approved of my relationship with Adam? Well, this holiday he wanted to meet him, and I am excited. Adam is traveling over in a week, but I strongly feel things would be really awkward if it were just the three of us this Christmas, you know. So I thought of inviting you over to cool the tension down a little.” Racheal rushed through her words. “You’ve got to be kidding me!” “I’m not Carli, you have to be there. You said you didn’t hate the holidays, so you have to prove it to me.” She said, and I knew I had fallen for her trap. “I don’t but....” I paused to think of an excuse. “I increased my working hours, remember?” “Oh, please, you and I know you are nothing but temporary staff. You canceling the additional working hours doesn’t change much at that boring job of yours. After all, didn’t you say that the reason you never visit was that you didn’t want to be a light bulb? Well? My dad would be around, so you won’t be interrupting anything.” Damn! Racheal purposely led me down the path of this conversation to trick me into agreeing to spend the holidays with her, but still…. I took in a deep breath and opened my mouth calmly, “Racheal, you know my financial situation, I really need to work during the holidays to make ends meet and provide for my school fees….” “And I believe you also know. I am ready to pay your school fees if you do this for me…” “I’m not collecting your money, Racheal.” “No! Well, think of this as a job. A very lucrative job. I would pay you to come spend the holiday with me. In fact, no, my dad will. $30,000 per day. All your travel expenses are covered, and you don’t have to participate in any activity you don’t like.” I sucked in a deep breath, tempted. “The hell, Racheal. Don’t joke with that kind of money.” “I’m not,” she said seriously, and I was shocked. I have always known that Racheal was from wealth, but was she this wealthy? Even though we are good friends, I try not to ask about her family’s specific financial situation. After all, we two friends were polar opposites; one was very rich and had nothing to worry about, while I, the other, was very poor; I had to work many part-time jobs to make ends meet. I didn’t like her helping, and she had never interfered, for that I love and respect her, but this…… $30,000 per day I spend with them, a whole holiday without living in fear of my neighbor finding out I was home, no staring at the computer all day at work until my brain bleached, and most of all. I could pay off a huge part of my student loan by the end of the holiday. Yeah, I hated the holiday, but there was no way I was giving this up. As if Racheal could read my mood, she giggled and said in reply, “I’d send you details of your booked flight tomorrow. Go pack your bags, sweetheart.”