So Near yet So Far (GxG)

CHAPTER 12 : SEASON 1 - KATE POV

Saying those words...so she is indeed a lesbian,

Hindi ko na maintindihan ang nangyayare, pero paano naging sila ni Vincent?

Hindi ko alam ang gusto kong itanong pero sobrang naco-confuse ako sa kung anong meron sa Digna na iyon!

When she agrees that she is inlove with Digna, pero she loves someone else nabanaag ko agad ang lungkot sa mata niya.

She seems to seriously inlove with her, kaloka ang mga ganito, hindi ko tuloy alam kung lesbian ba siya noong sila pa ni Vincent or ito na lang.

"Are you in love with her since kayo pa ni Vincent or after na"

Direct na tanong ko.

Hindi naman siya agad nakasagot nang bumalik si Ate Pam, maiilang naman na ako kung itatanong ko na naririnig ni Ate Pam kaya I just hold her hand to divert the topic.

"Tara na pala punta na tayong tatlo sa Party, sa rooftop daw eh"

Sabi ko naman sabay hila sa kanila.

Madami rin ang um-attend at karamihan ay mukha na talagang marites, medyo nangangamba na ang mukha ko na titigan nila while I am with Gabbie whom they keep on comparing to me.

"Last floor to rooftop naman pala eh akala ko sa rooftop tlaga"

Sabi ko and Gabbie face me.

"Well, we can visit the rooftop just to unwind"

Sabi niya naman.

"Naku Ma'am kung mamayang gabing-gabi pa iyan eh hindi na ako pwede kasi uwe rin ako ng 9pm, yung anak ko kasi"

Sabi naman ni Ate Pam at nagkatinginan lang kami ni Gabbie.

"You can go home anytime you want don't worry, mind your child mas mahalaga iyon kaysa sa mga ganitong party"

Sagot naman ni Gabbie and Ate Pam smiles on it, maybe she feels like this is mandatory, diyos ko kung hindi lang kay Gabbie eh hindi ako makiki-blend sa mga Marites dito eh!

Pagpasok namin sa loob pa ay sinalubong na kami ng head resident ng apartment, si Misis.

"Wow! Buti naman mga iha at nakarating kayo"

Sabi niya na may ngiti sa mata pero ang mga mukha ng ibang kasama niya ay halos takang-taka na magkasama kami ni Gabbie.

"Hindi naman namin alam na magkaibigan pala kayo"

si Marites 1.

"Uso naman iyan nagiging magkaibigan ang ex at ang bago eh"

Si Marites 2.

"Hindi ba kayo nagkakailangan? Mapagkwentuhan si Vince?"

Si Marites 3.

Medyo nanggigigil na ako at magsasalita na sana nang unahan ako ni Gabbie while hold my hand tightly.

"First, yes we are very good friends and I like her as a person, the second I am comfortable being with her, she has this radiance scent that I saw in her and it makes me happy and relaxed, third we don't care if ex ako ng boyfriend niya ngayon, we are matured enough to understand the situation and be just like an ordinary person, pleasant and simple, walang galit or any ilangan kasi higit sa lahat hindi kami bata, we are friends because we both like each other now will you excuse us please"

Mahabang paliwanag sabay excuse sa kanila at hatak sa akin nakasunod naman si Ate Pam and we three head our way sa isang table at doon we put down our stuff and get some food.

"Ay kaloka pala ang mga tao rito sobrang chismax, buti na lang ako hindi nila ako kilala kung hindi baka nasabon na ako nabababad pa!"

Sabi ni Ate Pam na agad naman kami natawa while nakapila sa kuhaan ng pagkain.

Naka-catering sila and Gabbie was the one who provides the dessert pala kaya talagang busy siya, ang ibang deliveries kanina ay papunta rito.

Nang makakuha na kami ng food ay sabay sabay rin naman kaming bumalik sa table and Ate Pam is so busy with her cellphone dahil sa anak niya kaya kami rin ni Gabbie ang halos magkausap.

"The food is good, saan nila kaya ito in-order na catering?"

Tanong ko naman.

"Sa tigarito rin sa lugar na ito"

Sagot naman no Gabbie and while we are talking about food ay biglang nagsalita na ang head ng apartment.

"Salamat sa lahat ng dumalo ngayon, sa labing limang taon ng apartment na ito ay maituturing namin na isang biyaya ang mapatira rito, isang malaking pasasalamat sa magulang ng isang taong nakikilahok sa atin ngayon dahil sa pagbibigay ng apartment na ito, hindi ko na babanggitin pa dahil ito ay isang tulong na hindi na raw dapat pang isigaw ika nga ng may-ari, kaya lubos na nagpapasalamat kami"

Mahabang paliwanag niya sabay nag-flash ang slideshow ng mga past events dito sa apartment, mula nang ginawa ito hangang sa present, napansin kong titig na titig si Gabbie sa mga pictures sa slideshow and when I look at it I was a little stunned seeing a three teen agers looking like Vincent, Gabbie and another girl.

Vincent and Gabbie are holding hands while Gabbie is looking at the other girl.

"That is Digna right"

Sabi ko that makes Gabbie slowly look at me.

"Yeah"

Simpleng sagot niya sa akin sabay tayo at lakad palayo.

Hindi ko alam kung saan siya pupunta pero agad ko siyang sinundan and she seems to walk towards the rooftop.

Bago niya buksan ang pinto sa rooftop ay nahawakan ko na siya agad.

"Teka lang Gabbie!"

Sabi ko sabay hawak sa braso niya na nakapagpaharap sa kaniya.

I stopped seeing her face showered by her tears, her eyes is filled with sadness nagpatulala sa akin.

I slowly detached my hand sa arms niya and just let herintoo a rooftop.

She walk towards the edge ng balcony ng rooftop, gustuhin ko man magtaka what is really going on pero mas nakukuha ang atensiyon ko sa hitsura niya, the sorrow in her face na hindi ko maintindihan saan ba talaga nangagagaling!

"What is wrong with you? You cant just walk away having that emotion, huwag ka naman magpakaba!"

Sabi ko which is hindi naman siya lumingon.

Kainis! Kahit gusto ko maggalit-galitan ay parang hindi ko na masyado kayang gawin.

Since hindi siya lumingon, lumapit na lang ako sa kaniya and then do what she is doing, just looking at the wide view of the whole village.

"Gusto mo ba malaman ang totoo?"

Bigla niyang sabi that caught me off guard.

"Ha? Anong totoo?"

Mahinang tanong ko.

"Abour Digna and me..."

Sabi niya and on that part parang kinabahan ako na hindi ko maintindihan.

"What about you and her aside from you love her"

Sabi ko.

Then she turn around and sit on the ground kaya umupo na lang rin ako then she starts to speak.

"Digna and I are friends, this place where my parent's ancestral house is pero iba na ngayon, college ako when I met Digna and we are so close and very comfortable sa isat-isa, I have situation back then that almost made me sad my whole life but when she became my friend I was fulfilled and enlightened, and then we met Vincent along with her sister at doon kami naging magkakakilala pero..."

Paliwanag niya that she suddenly stops from talking.

"Pero ano?"

Tanong ko.

"Pero...she falls for Vincent...he became her ultimate crush, wala pa akong alam sa feelings ko, hindi ko pa alam ang nararamdaman ko, pero naiinis ako sa katotohanang iyon, until they became couple for a month, hindi ko alam pero nasasaktan na ako na laging si Vincent na ang kasama niya at hinahanap niya, I know I am just a friend pero I didn't know na iba na ang feelings ko for her and that was revealed when they decided to elope, hindi ko alam pero at-least I must tell her that she is special for me but accident happen...Vincent's sister is with Digna kasi magkakilala rin sila, kaya noong araw na iyon, they both got into accident..."

Pagkwento niya when I continue what she is saying...

"And that kills his sister...hmmmmm si Digna ba?"

Nanghihina kong tanong.

Hindi ko alam ang dapat kong maramdaman dahil sa katotohanang ito, masakit sa puso ko na mayroon ganitong kalaking lihim si Vincent na hindi man lang niya binanggit sa akin!

"Digna survived but in return it makes weak and sick....until magkaroon ng taning ang buhay niya..hmmmmmm sob*sob*"

Luhaan niyang sabi, gusto ko man maging malungkot sa mga kwento niya ay mas nasasaktan ako, Vincent never told me about that and Gabbie still cant move on to Digna which confuses me that lead me to a certain question.

"Kung ganoon, paano naging kayo ni Vincent?"

Diretsahan kong tanong.

"Digna request na maging kami ni Vincent and it will make her happy, we both love her kaya we both fulfill that, kahit alam namin na hindi namin mahal ang isat-isa ay sinanay na lang namin ang sarili sa presence ng bawat isa, pero that only took time, I need to pursue what I want and he knows that, he wants to do what he want as well"

Paliwanag niya na talaga namang nakapagpatulala sa akin, nak nang putcha naman! Saan nanggagaling ang mga ito!?

Bakit may ganitong eksena at pangyayari na never sa akin binanggit ni Vincent! She said she cried over Gabbie pero parang iba naman ang gustong ipahiwatig ni Gabbie and I don't see any lie within her eyes.

"He never told anything about it..."

Sabi ko na nakatango lang, yung luha ko namumuo na, kahit anong pigil ko ay umiigting ang emotions ko.

She then throw me a confuse look, kita ko ang pagkalito niya sa sinabi ko,

"What did he tell you then?"

Tanong niya.

"That he loves you so much, and he cried over you,"

I said.

"Kaya ba ganun na lang ang inis mo sa akin?"

Sabi niya and hindi na ako nakasagot.

"You must felt so much pain and insecurities for nothing, I am sorry"

Nakayuko niyang sabi.

"Nope, you don't need to, wala ka naman kasalanan talaga, siya naman ang may mali, hmmmmm though...hmmmmm bakit ganun, hmmm sob*sob* bakit hindi niya sinabi sa akin, hindi ba ako worth it for the truth....bakit feeling ko, in reality after knowing the truth is wala naman talagang nagmamahal sa akin, I was just involved now but never been part of any certain feelings... hindi ko alam why he needs to make me feel I am loved even I know I am not"

Luhaan kong sabi and this time humagulgol na ako ng sobra, hindi ko ma mapigilan, ang sakit ng katotohanang ito...

"Hey, don't say that, hindi ko alam ang kay Vincent, what's his plan but you see, I am here I am your friend, I cared for you, hmmmmm you are special like what I always told you"

Paliwanag niya.

"I know...pero kasi, mahal na mahal ko si Vincent...hmmmmmm I always prayed na siya na, kami na in the end...pero bakit parang lumabo ang lahat...I was just in loved in the way he make me feel I was loved but I am not"

Luhaan at inis na sabi ko, halos mabiyak na ang boses ko, hindi ko alam paano ko ito iba-balance sa utak ko.

Habang luhaan ako ay nabigla ako when Gabbie suddenly walks towards me and grabs my face looking straight at me.

"Sshh....you just don't know how gorgeous you are, physically and as a person...I admire every unique side that you have....don't ever say you do not love...hindi ka mahirap mahalin"

Sincere niyang sabi, her every word struck into my veins.

The way she says it, bakit parang kakaiba, hindi ko maintindihan.

"Why...why are you like that to me?"

Mahinang tanong ko while she caressing my face.

Hindi naman siya nakasagot agad sabay bitaw sa mukha ko,

"Hmmm the first I saw you...you were so resemblance to her, I was stunned seeing your face and how you move..."

Sabi niya na hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ba ako, tang ina! Ano ito? They both good to me kasi I resemble to Digna, and I pretty sure Vincent is the same.

Isang malakas na sampal sa mukha ko, they both cared for me dahil pa din kay Digna!

"Ang galing niyo rin dalawa eh...dahil sa hitsura ko kaya niyo lang ako pinahahalagahan! Pasensiya ka na pero I can't stay long, I want to go home..."

I said na walang lingon lingon, I walk away from her trying to control myself from crying hard...

I am really nothing....wala akong lugar talaga rito, even ang lalaking mahal ko....

He just saw Digna in me...I am just a great replacement for whom they both lost...

I was about to turn the knob palabas ng rooftop when...

"Wait.."

Napahinto ako and my heart beat fast hearing her voice...