Feelings

Chapter 16

Lisa and Tzuyu used to be roommates in their sophomore year. Everything used to be awkward between them since they were strangers to each other even though they share most of the classes together. Whenever the two were in their room, there seemed to be walls between them, they were very distant towards each other although they were just feet away from one another. Or maybe it was just for Lisa. She had a crush on Tzuyu ever since but it seemed like the other didn’t show any interest in her. And so she asked Rosé for an advice on how she would get Tzuyu’s attention at least.

From a small talk that they had, the two grew closer to each other. Lisa didn’t expect Tzuyu to be touchy and clingy to her. Tzuyu would always held Lisa’s hand and play with them, she would always lay her head on her shoulder, and when the wind blows strong she would fix Lisa’s hair. Lisa didn’t want to think that Tzuyu liked her already as well. As much as she would like to know Tzuyu’s intention, she stayed silent. She thought maybe it wasn’t the right time for her to ask that matter. From then, what mattered for Lisa was their friendship.

But one time, Tzuyu became distant again which made Lisa confused. She ignored it at first, thinking maybe her roommate was just having a bad day and just needed to cool off. But the following day, Tzuyu basically acted as if Lisa was nonexistent and it made Lisa annoyed. So when Lisa and Tzuyu was alone in their room, Lisa tried to confront her.

“Tzuyu.” Lisa called, but as usual Tzuyu ignored her and put her earphones in her ear. Lisa annoyingly sighed and pulled Tzuyu’s earphone. “How long are you going to ignore me?”

“Stop being annoying, will you?” Tzuyu glared at Lisa which made the latter mad.

“Seriously, what did I even do? One day I wake up and you just started ignoring me. Stop with the charades, will you?” Lisa said, her brows knitted.

“Just forget about me okay.” Tzuyu disclosed as she sighed and Lisa felt her heart torn.

“Are you being serious now? Why would I even do that?” Lisa sighed and closed her eyes for a second and then she looked at Tzuyu’s eyes. “It’s impossible for me to just forget you.” Lisa softly said.

“I’m leaving.” Tzuyu said.

“What?!” Lisa’s eyes widened. “Why? Where are you going? When?”

“I’m leaving tomorrow morning. That’s why I asked you to just forget about me. I know you’re not telling me anything about how you feel but I can read through your eyes. And before you even do, I’m going to be honest with you. We’re never going to happen.” Tzuyu sternly said and Lisa’s torn heart was now crushed.

And without saying a word Lisa stormed out of their room, tears rolling down her face, and went to Rosé’s room to stay for that night. The next day when Lisa went back to her room, Tzuyu was already gone. But Lisa found a piece of paper on her bed, she sat on her bed as she opened the paper and read it.

Sorry. —Tzuyu

Lisa felt her blood boiled. She immediately crumpled the paper and threw it in the trash bin.

Rumors also spread that the reason why Tzuyu left was because Lisa confessed to her and Tzuyu was grossed out that she had to transfer school, other rumor was Lisa was a bad roommate and Tzuyu couldn’t stand her and left the university. But the truth didn’t surface and Lisa had to suffer from the humiliations she didn't deserve.

***

Lisa and Tzuyu went at the back of the building since it wasn’t as crowded. Lisa gulped and then sighed before starting to talk.

“Why are you here?” Lisa asked, not meeting Tzuyu’s eyes. “Why did you come back?”

“I had to leave before because my dad got relocated. He’s a military army and he didn’t want me to be apart from him since we only had each other. I had to transfer school. And now I’m here because he’s retired already, we bought a house near here and the reason why I came back is...” Tzuyu took a deep breath and then glanced at Lisa. “I missed you.”

Lisa felt the same feeling she felt when she saw the note Tzuyu left her but she tried her best to keep her cool by heaving a sigh.

“That’s it?” Was all Lisa could say.

“Whatever I did to you in the past, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean it—”

“Then why?” Lisa turned to Tzuyu, anger blazing in her eyes. “Why did you have to hurt me like that?” Tears of anger started to roll on her cheeks.

“Because that way, maybe hurting you would make me miss you less when I leave. But I was wrong. I got guilty with what I did to you. It was all wrong.” Tzuyu's eyes started to blur with her tears. “I just have one question though.” She paused. “I don’t want to make assumptions but did you really like me then?”

“Why would my answer even matter? What you did to me was enough.”

“Because I was scared to confess before. I did like you, I still do. Another reason why I’m here is to make amends with you. Even if you won’t reciprocate my feelings, I at least want our friendship back.” Tzuyu sadly smiled as a bead of tear rolled down her cheek.

Lisa’s heart that was crushed and turned into ice by Tzuyu before began to beat again but not because of the revelation that Tzuyu did, but the fact that she finally understood her reasons why she had to do that. Her questions finally got answers and just like what Rosé said, she could now breathe better. Lisa sighed and chuckled then smiled.

“I missed you, Yoda.” Lisa softly said. Tzuyu bursted into tears and threw her hands around Lisa. The latter brushed her hand on Tzuyu’s back, calming her down.

“I’m really sorry, Lisa.” Tzuyu sobbed.

“It’s alright. I forgive you.” Lisa softly patted Tzuyu’s head and then the latter pulled away.

“Can we still friends?” Tzuyu asked.

“Of course.” Lisa softly smiled.

***

“She’s not picking up.” Jisoo said while phone is in her ear, a little bit impatient. While still waiting for the other person to pick up, she glanced at her girlfriend and she noticed she looked worried. She nudged her lightly to get her attention. “You seem upset.”

“Should I apologize to Lisa?” Rosé worriedly said.

“I thought you said what you did was just right?” Jisoo chuckled and when the operating machine began talking on her phone, she sighed and ended the call.“Where the hell is Jennie?”

“What I said to her was right, but I think the way I told her isn’t.” Rosé sighed.

“Hey, don’t feel guilty now. Who knows, maybe she finally realized that you have a point.” Jisoo softly said as she side-hugged Rosé and rubbed her arm comfortingly.

“Your encouraging words are what I live for.” Rosé softly giggled as she rested her head on Jisoo’s.

“Enough with Lisa for a while, I’m actually kind of worried about Jennie. I haven’t seen her since she walked out of the room, she didn’t even attend any classes. It’s unusual of her.”

“Maybe she’s still with Henry? You know, the College Day is coming closer.” Rosé shrugged.

“Aish.” Jisoo sighed. “With that being said, we haven’t practiced anything yet.”

“Come on, you’re worried about that now?” Rosé chuckled. “I mean, I’m not bragging or anything but I think we’re the best among the others. It’s a piece of cake.”

“Well yeah, I agree with you.” Jisoo laughed. As if on cue, her phone vibrated and she checked who texted her. “Jennie finally texted.” She sighed in relief and opened the message to read.

[Jendeukie ✨]

You guys go ahead, I’ll see you tomorrow in class. Sorry if I kept you waiting for me but I’ll be fine