Denying Destiny

Stacy

Killian POV

(Meanwhile, sa kabilang side ng club)

I arrived sa maingay na club kung saan magpapainom yung kabarkada kong si Troy kasi birthday nya kahapon. "Pre dito." Tumayo si Troy para tawagin ako. Nandun na yung iba naming mga kabarkada.

"Happy birthday pre." I gave him a fist bump and binati din yung iba naming kaibigan and gave them high fives. Mukhang busy na sila dahil may dala ng mga babae sa table namin. Ang bibilis.

"Thank you, Attorney. Asan si Cecilia?" Troy asked me loudly kasi malakas yung music as I sat down beside him.

"Wala, busy. May merger silang gagawin kaya may meeting sila bukas." I answered him who was looking for my fiancé na minsan kasama ko sa mga ganitong lakad. "Si Ry?" Tanong ko naman habang hinahanap yung isa pa naming kabarkada. Kahit madami kaming kaibigan, si Ry at si Troy yung pinaka close ko.

"Nandyan lang baka naghahanap ng babae. Alam mo naman yon. Kala mo naman makakascore." Troy snickered and handed me a glass of Johnnie Walker Black on the rocks.

"Daming magagandang babae pre. Too bad may fiancé ka na." Tinapik ni Troy yung likod ko at natawa nalang ako dahil he didn't fail to put a stress on the word fiancé as he always does. Napainom nalang ako.

"Ganda nun o." Troy pointed to a girl who had just sat down galing sa dance floor across our table sa kabilang side ng club. She was laughing with her friends and just took a shot. Nasamid ako sa tinuro ni Troy na babae. Si Stacy.

"Bakit? Kilala mo pre? Pakilala mo naman ako." Siniko ako ni Troy. "Gago, estudyante ko yan." Natawa kong sabi. I shook my head. Palagi ko nalang nakikita yang si Ms. Valdez, or rather, Stacy kung saan saan.

I somehow feel a certain pull towards her or napapadalas lang talaga yung coincidences. Like the weird coincidence na dalawang beses kong nabunot yung classcard nya kanina. Or maybe masyado lang akong magaling mag balasa?

I reminded myself to check the attendance first sa next meeting para mahiwalay ko na yung mga classcards ng nakapag recite na. Ayoko na syang matawag ng matawag kasi mukhang nahihiya na sya about it and nagmumukhang sinasadya ko. Tangina ayoko ng magisip ng kahit anong tungkol sa klase kaya uminom nalang ako. I think I need this break. I poured from the bottle my second glass.

"Bata pa?" Troy stared at her. "Ano bang bata sayo pre? 18? Malamang hindi. Third year na yan sa lawschool e." I answered and nakatitig pa din ako kay Stacy. Wishing na hindi mag kalayo yung edad namin. At wishing Troy would also stop staring at her. Teka bakit? I shouldn't care. Well kilala ko din kasi tong tarantado kong kaibigan.

I have always been curious kung paano si Stacy pag nasa labas ng lawschool at hindi nag aaral. So, ganito pala. "Ang ganda ng mga estudyante mo ah. Pakilala mo naman ako." Troy commented pero di ko na sya sinagot. Isa lang yan.

Troy was right, ang ganda nya lalu na kasi hindi sya seryoso at nakasimangot. I was always trying to make her smile pag tinitignan ko sya sa klase or kahit sa Starbucks. Pero for the first time, di pareho ang nakukuha kong reaction sa kanya, di tulad sa ibang mga babae kong estudyante. Bakit kaya di gumagana yung mga ngiti ko sakanya? Mostly puro simangot at gulat ang nakukuha ko kay Stacy. Then I end up frustratingly thinking kung anong iniisip nya.

Loser. Baka di ka nya gusto yun lang.

"Pre cancel ka dyan, matalino yan. Di ka uubra." I laughed. Ako nga wala e. "Yabang mo naman. Sige dun nalang ako sa babaeng kasama nya." Troy stood up to approach kung sino man yung babaeng kaibigan ni Stacy na hindi ko kilala. I continued to stare at Stacy na tumayo bigla at lumabas sa veranda sa smoking area.

Wag mo na sundan! Masyado ka nanamang curious Killian! Tigilan mo na yan. Pero nanalo pa rin yung side ko na palaging curious sa babaeng to. Inubos ko yung iniinom ko at sumunod kay Stacy sa smoking area. Pumwesto ako sa likod nya dahil nakatalikod sya sa mga tao at nakaharap sa view ng mga buildings.

"Miss, can I borrow your lighter?" Binulungan ko si Stacy who suddenly froze. Kala ko sisikuhin nya ko, buti nalang hindi. Natawa ako ng konti ng dahan dahang lumingon si Stacy at sumimangot. Di na yon nakakagulat. Feeling ko ako yung nagulat.

If I thought she was beautiful from across the room, ngayon mas lalu na. Her face, though not wearing a smile, hit me hard. I could've reeled back if hindi ko lang nacocontrol yung sarili ko. With her, I seem to need to control myself more.

"Sir, anong ginagawa mo dito?" Nakasimangot pa rin at clearly gulat sya. Combo ng palaging reaction nya sakin. Nginitian ko sya at tinaasan ng kilay. "I think it's safe to call me Killian, wala naman tayo sa klase, Stacy." At for some f*****g reason, kinindatan ko sya. At natawa ako sa reaction nya na bumilog lang yung mga mata.

What the hell Killian?! You're f*****g creeping her out! "Lighter?" I asked her again more casually this time. And she wordlessly took the lighter out from her back pocket as she also took this time to look somewhere else.

I quickly glanced at her outfit. Hmmm di ko ineexpect to sa kanya. And she f*****g looks good. As in really good. Her top accentuated her tanned shoulders na palaging nakatago sa business attire nya and ang sexy nya sa dark denim pants nya with heels na made her look like a model. HOY KILLIAN. I averted my eyes towards the dance floor pretending to look at no one or everyone just as her eyes went back to me.

I reached for the lighter and nagsindi ng yosi and tinignan ko ulit sya. "I don't take you for the type na mahilig mag club or bar." I asked her or rather commented on the obvious. "Relax, Stacy, wala tayo sa recit." Biniro ko sya agad to break the ice.

Please kausapin mo ko. I never exerted this much effort para mapasalita ang isang babae. I never exerted any effort sa babae since college and when I entered lawschool and nung nagturo ako. Period.

"Okay, why don't we reset this for tonight? Hi, I'm Killian, and you are?" I gave her my most friendly smile and finally she seemed to relax then I held out my hand for a handshake but it was mostly for contact. But I kept that fact to myself.

"Stacy." She shook my hand and I felt a current from the contact. Weird. She gave me a smile. Finally, a real smile! Or baka madami na syang nainom? I didn't exactly know kung gaano na sya katagal na nandito. Kaya di ko alam kung namumula sya dahil sa mga nainom na nya or dahil saakin. Feeling.

"So, Stacy, first time mo ba dito or you always go out to clubs or bars?" I asked kahit na may idea na ko sa sagot. "Actually, hindi ako mahilig sa ganito. Too noisy. I can stand bars na hindi maingay. Pero yung ganito, hindi. Napilit lang ako ng mga kaibigan ko." She answered and it was her turn na taasan ako ng kilay.

I was anticipating the reason sa pag taas nya ng kilay sakin. "I wouldn't expect to bump into you either sa mga ganitong lugar, Att--, Killian." Naningkit yung mata nya while looking at me as she slowly said my name instead of calling me attorney.

She looks like she was trying on my name sa boses nya. Somehow this pleased me. "Bakit hindi ba ko mukhang cool?" I joked and natawa sya sakin. FINALLY. Kahit ang corny ko sinasakyan nya ko.

"Birthday ng kabarkada ko. Saka bata pa ko, Stacy. 25 lang ako." Tinaasan nanaman nya ko ng kilay. "Weh." She said smiling amusedly. The same smile I probably gave her a dozen times already since nakilala ko sya. Gago, Killian focus.

"Oo nga. Nakaka offend ka ah. Ganyan ka ba sa mga kaka kilala mo lang?" I chuckled. Again, it wasn't really a question.

"Okay sorry." She looked like she was trying to figure me out. Giving me the taste of my own medicine. Nakaka conscious pala yung ginagawa ko sa kanya. Pero I couldn't help it. I wanted to read kung anong iniisip nya.

"Anong iniisip mo?" Hindi ko napigilang itanong sakanya, at kinagat ko yung labi ko to shut myself up.

Napatigil si Stacy at tumingin lang sakin at natawa ng konti. "You wouldn't exactly like it." Mas lalu akong nacurious. God when would my curiousity for this girl stop?

Tinaasan nya ko ng kilay dahil naaliw ako sa kanya. "Try me." I answered. "I was just thinking na parang hindi ako naniniwalang 25 ka lang." She seemed to be biting the insides of her cheeks as if to keep herself from laughing. Hoy Killian! Nadistract ka nanaman. Sagot.

Natatawa kong kinuha yung wallet ko sa likod ng pantalon ko then handed her my driver's license. Natawa din si Stacy sa ginawa ko but she checked it anyway. "Okay na? Did I present sufficient evidence, Attorney?" Tinaasan ko sya ng kilay ulit pero nakangiti. Oo parang tanga kang nakangiti. "Yup. Ang hindi okay yung picture mo dito." Stacy tried looking serious pero alam kong niloloko lang nya ko as I took back my license. "Ang sama mo pala no?" I grinned at her and nginitian lang nya ko.

Bakit kaya ngayon nya lang ako nginingitian ng ganito? Na eto yung totoo nyang ngiti. Buti nalang hawak ko pa nya yung lisensya ko kung hindi, baka hindi ko napigilang kurutin yung pisngi nya. Hoy Killian, behave. Ano ka 18?

"Weird na ngayon ka pa hindi naniwala na 25 lang ako kung kelan naman napaka casual ng suot ko." I shook my head. I traded my usual slacks, long-sleeves and black shoes for a plain white collared shirt, ripped jeans and black chuck taylors. I didn't even have gel sa buhok. Di ba nya napansin yon? I frowned at that thought.

"I think that might be it. Yung usual mong suot. Parang it sticks to the brain like it makes us impossible to imagine you na ganyan ka casual. I mean if you just didn't point it out now, ang iisipin ko you're still wearing the same thing you were wearing kanina sa class because I'm just looking at your face. Weird." She found it funny pero parang bigla syang nahiya na nasabi nya lahat yun sakin. I laughed sa sinabi nya and my hand was on my lips thinking about what she just said. I wonder if ganun din ang iniisip ng iba kong estudyante? I don't quite care sa kanila actually. Sa kanya lang.

Eto na yata yung pinaka mahabang nasabi nya sakin na hindi sagot sa recitation and I found it mesmerizing to watch her talk. Definitely different from how she answered in her recitation. She looked like she was restraining this at that time. She had so much expression na relaxed lang like she was really talking to me as Killian, not her professor. I wish she would do it more often.

"Since we're in the subject of age, ikaw ilang taon ka na?" Tinaasan ko ulit sya ng kilay. Don't tell me your're just 19 or 20 please? I'd feel more guilty trying hard (but unsuccessfully) to flirt with her if she was that young.

"23. Kailangan mo ba lisensya ko?" She shrugged with a smile. Yes 23 na sya! Wow ka talaga Killian.

I wish she would look at me. And she did. It was so satisfying for some weird reason. Again. Like how I seem to always gravitate towards her.

"Ah kaya pala di ka makapaniwalang 25 lang ako, and tanda mo na din. You're just in denial." Biro ko.

"Ang sama mo din pala no?" She retorted and I laughed. So this is her.

From the corner of my eye I can see Troy entering the smoking area, nako mangugulo nanaman to, I thought to myself.

And as predicted, tama ako dahil siniksik nya si Stacy papunta sakin kunyari natalisod sya. Sinimangutan ko si Troy. Gago. Ganyan na ganyan sya nung highschool kami. Nanunulak ng barkada sa crush.

I held Stacy na napalapit sakin almost hugging me but she had her hand on my chest. Thank you, Troy? Sana di na sya gumalaw.

"Hoy pre, lasing ka na ba?" Pagalit kong sinabi sakanya. Pero thank you talaga, pre. I still held Stacy sa likod nya.

Sinimangutan din ni Stacy si Troy at umayos na ito ng tayo as if biglang naconscious na halos napayakap na sya sakin. And I f*****g held her! Correction, naconscious sya kasi halos naka yakap na ko sa kanya.

"Sorry, sorry pre. Dami ko na nainom. Bumalik ka na don. Hi miss!" Sabi ng gago kong kaibigan at biglang tingin kay Stacy and she looked annoyed. Natawa ako.

She averted her eyes towards me as if to ask kung magka kilala kami ni Troy and it was my time to smile sheepishly. Kawawa naman pag tinulak ko si Troy sa halamanan e, birthday pa naman nya kahapon.

"Sorry, medyo tanga tong kaibigan ko. Stacy si Troy, Troy, Stacy." Wala akong choice kung hindi ipakilala si Stacy sa gago kong kaibigan who held his hand out para makipag kamay.

I laughed hard when Stacy just waved at Troy ignoring his hand. Satisfying din na when it was me who did it, kinamayan nya ko. Na somehow pinili nya ko. Or baka dahil kilala lang nya ko and Troy is just some weird dude na tumulak sa kanya.

"Nice decision, Stace." Kinindatan ko ulit sya na natawa sya while shaking her head. "Balik na ko, baka hinahanap na ko ng mga kaibigan ko. Nice to meet you, Killian." She smiled again. Wag dito ka lang.

"Nice to meet you din, Stace." I smiled and then she left the smoking area. "E ako? Wala man lang nice to meet you?" Troy asked me ng may paawa sa mukha. Nasabi ko na bang gago to?

"Ang gago mo no?" Irita kong sinabihan si Troy habang naglabas ako ulit ng yosi at nagsindi. Ngayon ko lang napansin na nasakin pa rin yung lighter ni Stacy. At least may rason ulit akong lumapit sa kanya. Kumuha si Troy sa yosi ko at nagsindi din. Hinablot ko pabalik yung lighter ni Stacy.

"Ikaw gago. Nagpapacute ka don sa Stacy. May nice to meet you nice to meet you pa kayong nalalaman parang di naman kayo magkakilala. Kahit bagay kayo pre, paano si Cecilia?" Troy reminded me. "Oo na." Nakasimangot ko syang sinagot. Bagay kami? I internally smiled over that while keeping the frown on my face.

"Okay lang yan pre. Isang taon nalang naman." Tinapik ni Troy yung balikat ko as if consoling me. Yup kailangan ko yon. "Natiis mo nga ng tatlong taon e. Kung ano ano kasing pinapasok mo. Pero pre napansin ko lang ha, for the first time ngayon ko lang kailangan ipaalala sayo si Cecilia. Usually ikaw nagpapaalala saamin." Troy continued. Alam ko naman kung ano yung paulit ulit na kinukulit sakin ng mga kaibigan ko. Di ko na kailangan sagutin si Troy tungkol sa mga sinasabi nya.

"O dahil ngayon may rason ka nang magmadali?" Troy asked me habang napaisip nga ako while I stole another glance at Stacy.