Memoirs of A Second Life

I opened my eyes to yet another miserable morning. The light in my shoddy apartment has gone out, and the air conditioning is broken. I had slept through an awfully hot night, and I was now basting in my own sweat. I stare at myself in the mirror above the sink, and see a husk of my former self. My stubble made me look even more awful than I did weeks ago, and the bags under my eyes didn't help to make me look more attractive either. My hair was disheveled, and I swear, I could smell myself. What used to be such joyful eyes have now become bottomless pits. I can no longer recognize myself. All of this happened because of my wife—ex-wife.  It's all her fault. I shouldn't have trusted her. She ran away with that bastard, and took all my money. The sun was already riding high that morning as I glanced at my watch—the only possession I had left.  10:45 am. Now is a good time as any. I grabbed a chair and the rope that I bought last night, and placed them just below the metal bar I had installed a week ago. I firmly knotted the rope and tied it to the bar; a smile, forming on my lips. "It's ready," I say to myself. I stood on the chair and wore the rope like a necklace. Outside the window, I can see the dazzling sun shining down into my bedroom. In silence, I jump from the chair and slowly, the rope tightened around my neck. While I struggle to breathe, all the things that happened in my life flashed before my eyes. The first time I laid eyes on Katarina, the day we got married, and the time we bought our house. A tear rolled down my eyes as I recall every happy moment of my life. "Life is so cruel," I thought as the oxygen escaped my lungs. Slowly, I closed my eyes and gave into the desire to surrender. "So long, Katarina." In the distance, I saw a vast light. I could hear the muffled voices of people speaking in a language that I don't recognize. When my opened my eyes, I saw a raven-haired man smiling at me as if I'm the only one that mattered in this world. Beside him, was a woman in her early twenties. Judging by her outfit, it looked like she was a doctor. I could feel her holding me, and giving me to someone else. When I looked up, I saw another woman. She was nothing short of angelic. Her golden hair was beautiful, and her auburn eyes more beautiful still. I could swear that she was looking at me as if I'm her most prized possession. A smile appeared on her lips as tears fell from her eyes. "Meu Filho," she muttered. The man began to chuckle as he embraced the woman smiling at me. "Você foi muito bem meu amor!" he exclaimed. What the hell is going on? Hey, put me down!  I tried to utter words, but all I could muster were a few squeals. When I reached my hands out, I saw that they were much shorter than they used to be. It was as if... No! Did I just turn into a child? I looked at the man again, and then at the woman holding me in her arms. In her eyes, I saw a reflection of myself. Somehow, I resembled the man, and some of the woman's facial features were similar to mine. "Eu te batizo de Altair," said the man as he held me in his arms and kissed my forehead. "Altair, huh? É perfeito!" said the woman. The way she smiled made her even more beautiful. For some reason, the way they smiled at me made me giggle. Perhaps it was just reflex, but I was weirded out by the way I reacted. To this couple, it seemed as though I mattered more than the world, and it warmed my heart. If I really have been reborn, I will not waste this second life. I promise, I will live this life without regrets. I won't make the same mistake I did in my previous life. Whoever is out there that gave me this chance, thank you for giving me a second chance! I swear to you, I shall live this life to the fullest! Days passed by like a blur and I was now able to crawl. For most of the day, I would just crawl around and play with the housekeeper, Lianna. She had treated me with as much kindness as my parents did. But unlike the people I've seen so far, Lianna's skin was oddly pale, and her ears were pointy. Her beauty did surpass most people I've seen in my life, but she wasn't as pretty as my mother. During the afternoon, my father, Azlan, would return from his work as the sword instructor of this country's prince. Little by little, I was able to grasp the language of this world. And based on what I could understand, every time Azlan sees me, he would call me "Altair, my boy!" Every evening, my mother, Esfir would sing me a lullaby. The sound of her soothing voice would always serenade me into sleep. I had never heard such a comforting sound before. And as she sang to me, she would stroke my golden hair, and I would gradually drift into sleep. More days passed by, and I was now able to walk on two legs. Azlan couldn't have been prouder the moment he saw me walk and grab a cup of water from the coffee table. I almost stumbled when I did that, but my father was quick enough to prevent it from happening. Both Esfir and Lianna were tearful when they saw me walking. Somehow, it appeared as though they had achieved something magical. I was moved by the way they were looking at me. Honestly, I've never been treated this way back in my old life. As time went by, I realized that five winters had already passed. It seems that today was my fifth birthday, and the entire family celebrated with me. There was a beautifully made cake on the table with five candles on it. Azlan had just returned from outside, and he was holding something behind his back. "Blow out your candles, son!" he said to me. I looked at him and nodded eagerly. As I blew at the candles and put out their lights, I muttered a wish in my head. I hope days like this will never pass. Once I had blown out the candles, Azlan handed me a small dagger. It was sheathed into an expensive-looking leather scabbard. When I removed it from the case, I saw the metal gleam under the light of our home. I was so enamored by the weapon that I couldn't utter a word. Esfir slapped the back of Azlan's head when she saw what he had given me. "Why did you give Altair a weapon for his fifth birthday? That's just irresponsible!" "I was younger than him when I first held a sword!" Azlan argued. "You like it, don't you son?" he asked, turning to me for an answer. I chuckled at him and replied, "I do, Father. It's a great gift." Lianna laughed along as Azlan scratched the back of his head while Esfir glared at him. "You're lucky our son is very considerate," said Esfir. "Altair, you don't have to take your i***t father's side, you know!" I laughed at my mother's remark. "It really is a good gift, Mother. Worry not, I will be careful with this weapon." Esfir looked like she was wondering how I became so polite. Perhaps she was thinking, "Azlan has never been that polite, and even I haven't taught him to be so formal!" After that brief merriment, we proceeded to eat and laugh as we talked about what I would be in the future. My father told me that he wanted me to become a royal knight, and my mother said that I should train to be a sorcerer. Truthfully, I had never thought of what I wanted to become. It never occurred to me, not because I didn't want to be anything, but because I doubted if I could even become either. In the dead of the night, I heard a knock on the door of my bedroom. When I opened it, I saw Lianna standing outside, looking a bit embarrassed. I invited her to sit down in front of my wooden table and asked why she was here at this time of the night. She told me that she was too embarrassed to give me a gift earlier tonight, but now that we were alone, she became more vocal. "I've never had a child of my own, Young Master Altair, so I've always viewed you as my son. I hope that doesn't bother you," she said. "Not at all. It actually makes me glad to hear that." Then, she took out a necklace. In the middle was a gemstone in the shape of a crescent moon, and its color was similar to that of the purple moon above us right now. The dim, purple moonlight shone into my room as I held the necklace in my hand. It glowed under the light, and I couldn't help but smile at how well-crafted it was. "Did you make this yourself, Lianna?" I asked her. "I did. I've been saving up for it ever since my first day of work here. Your parents have been awfully kind to me, and so have you. This is all I can do to repay that kindness," Lianna answered, sounding a bit forlorn. "Why do you look so sad?" She lowered her head and averted her gaze from me. "I do not deserve such kindness, Young Master." I got up from my seat, held her hand, and asked her to look at me. "Whatever it is that makes you think you don't deserve kindness, I hope that someday, you forgive yourself for it. Because to me, and to my mother and father, you deserve every bit of kindness that we willingly give you." Tears fell from Lianna's eyes as I said those words. I never imagined myself to ever say such words to someone else again. Perhaps this is because I've experienced nothing but bliss in the past five years. "Thank you, Young Master," she muttered.